Indian kids dating concept

Sweety, I am not a mom of a teenager but here is my take. Yes, my daughter will be allowed to date, if she is attracted to someone. However, at this point of time, I want her to be at least 18 before she starts dating (that is what I am thinking right now). I would like to encourage her to focus on studies and career but like you said, that attraction/infatuation happens without anyone's permission, not even the kid herself. So, how can i ask her not to fall in love?

As for me, I have had several infatuations. In all honesty, I have not really acted on any of them (with one exception).

And marriage...its really touch and go; be it love or arranged marriage.

 

I had an Indian friend who have grown up kids. He said that he never let his kids focus on opposite sex, kept tabs on what his kids spoke, whom they mingled with and stay away from which boy in school likes which girl kind of conversation.

Everything was around studying and extra curricular activites. They went out as a family and hung around as a family. The kids were not allowed to chit-chat on phone, it should be to the point when calling friends.

Once the kids friends know that they are not accessible to text and chat about all the gossips in school, they pick other friends. Once your kids hang around with other kids who are focused in things like studies and career focused, they won't be in the whole dating scene.

This is the only way you can protect the kids.

There is lot of non-sense going on in US schools at a very young age. Peer pressure, crush, who likes whom and everything pushes kids towards, i want to talk to this boy/girl, this boy/girl likes her but i want them to like me.

As for your question, a boy offers a girl to go for a date ( for coffee or movie or snack or mall ) if he likes her. They spend time together and they claim to be in love, maybe. Then there is pressure from the boy regarding intimacy, sometimes from the girl due to peer pressure and so on.

Save your child!!!!!!!! Let them be a geek until they are 21.


Also, love happening without your permission is more of an infatuation.

 

I am with Rakhi on this one. My kids are 18 and 13 so I am closer to this stage in life.

My son who is 18 is very focused on his studies /career but not even once I told him not to date. He is free to date and marry any girl he feels he want to spend his life with ( in love). For me dating is that process through which one decided if this is the person they really like------love.

Now that doesn't mean my 13 yrsold dd is dating. I have told her she will b allowed acc to age. I have great relationship with my kids.......open, understanding and guiding. They tell me everything......class crushes.....what's happening around them and how they feel. I guide them through this and set standards and limits . I have an open mind and I want them to be successful, happy, caring citizens of this world.

I see nothing wrong if they fall in love and pick their own life partner. I think its more important to teach them how to be making right choices in life......how to care and respect people in their life.

 

i just had this info-conversation passed by my son last week and this thread made me smile.

my kids have been focussed. my DD is 19 and i don't even see her going out much with her girl friends she is too choosy. the day she comes and says i am going on a date, i am sure i am going to double pinch myself before i open my mouth. the guy she is comfortable with, and has the confidence is the one person she can share her life get our ok.

my son is in the 11th and most of his classmates are new. they all come from different schools. a girl x came up to him and asked him, let me put it as the conversation that happened..

x- what would you do if i ask you on a date?
ds- i will pity you!!
x- Eh !!!- whyy?
ds- A date with me would mean i will drag you to landmark and will have a wonderful time reading blurbs of books and discussing..
x- thank god, i asked you this, before asking you on a date..:rotfl

i felt sorry for x and also smiled at the priorities of this bookworm of mine..

 

Dating in western culture has taken all new level - which more like getting intimate too and love too and breaking up and then finding another person to date.

It is happening in india as well.

In my eyes, we do have dating for years...perhaps from our parents' generation if not before.

Did many of us saw many prospect candidates and spent time with them to pick if person was right be our life partner? Of course different setting, shorter time, level of conversation is another kind....but still it is dating.

People, if they fall in love, and go out together - it is called dating as well.
If they are trying to find of this person is right for me - it is called dating too....
spouses tryign to find time alone and goes out - then they have a 'date'
If parent = child special time - it is a 'date'

Basically 'Dating' is a process to find the right special one for life and 'having a date' is spending special time in the life with special some one.

For me dating in very generic that way.

My son is 10 and yes i would allow him to date after 18 only if he is doing well in studies, but if he falls in love before that, I will nag him to see if it is really love and if so...would be fine if he dates that person.
And of course will bound him with certain boundaries.

 

People have been dating In India in my school days too. Serious stuff.It is just that parents didn't know and didn't get a chance to guide their children about the right or wrong ....because they had their heads buried in sand (because their children were good children)

My daughters asked me when they can have boy friends. I told them...after your are 21.They have lots of friends who are boys. I am sure they will fall in love and date ...I would like to know about it...hence would like to be open. Saying no doesn't stop kids. Some will date no matter what....some won't even if pushed into dating.

 

That's true....dating has been around for a long time even in India. Parents might not know about it but when I was going to school....I saw it all around me...not everyone did but many did date. If we keep communications open we can guide our kids and if we say nope you can't do it...they still might do it and we will have no idea about it.