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How to treat/deal with kids having ADHD

Discussion in 'Schoolgoers & Teens' started by outofthebox, May 31, 2013.

  1. Rakhii

    Rakhii Moderator IL Hall of Fame

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    Hun, as a parent, usually its very hard to believe that there could be something wrong with their child. When my nephew was diagnosed with Autism, my BIL didnt believe at all for a very long time that there is something amiss. Since you work from home and since you spend a lot more time with her, its slightly easier for you to notice things he misses (just like my sis and BIL).

    usually kids are fairly fine with parents but the tantrums start in the compnay of others. Good luck to you.

    I cannot stress enough on watching what to give her. With my nephew, sugar, diary and onions are completely out. Research and see if she needs anything specific to control the hyper activity.
     
  2. itsjustme

    itsjustme Silver IL'ite

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    outofthebox,

    I am definitely there to help you in all ways possible. I always used to think that it was purely by coincidence that everything used to happen to me. I used to forget my name plate at home and at school I would get punished,so would my dad(for he would come behind my school van with my name plate). My inability to learn and adapt was taken as defiance. Once due to persistent complaints that I am disobedient, I declared that I need to go to an E.N.T. And imagine a 7 year old telling the ENT that she is not able to hear things selectively. It seems the ENT doc told my family that"The cure is beating her up"! :( I felt so bad that noone is believing me.It is over time that people have understood me.

    A few tips from my side-
    1)Teach your daughter to make notes-I learnt it only last year
    2)Teach your daughter the consequence of impulsiveness and the reward of patience-Impulsive behaviour is a part of ADHD. I used to be very impulsive. Thus people hate me more than the others who actually manipulated them or betrayed them.
    3)She should have confidence that you love her no matter what she is- I had very poor self-esteem due to the fact that I screw up silly things.As a result I started distancing myself from my family as I thought I was not worthy of love. As a result I had to suffer a lot due to trusting the wrong people and fairweather friends.
    4)Explain why there needs to be a system for everything-If she questions that, tell her you will let her do things her way when she is able to complete certain tasks successfully and consistently. Consistence is important.
    5)Her teachers should know that she needs to be dealt with in a certain way- I used to be good in academics. But I was never a teacher's pet. My teachers found me to be jumpy, hyper, and lazy. I used to get punished for not completing my homework. Well, I always forgot. I used to shout out answers, not because I wanted to show off, just because I felt like answering. I never listened in the class so I used to study by myself reading the book from the beginning to the end. And I did well , all by myself.
    Never let a teacher judge your child. If she makes a mistake they can correct her, but not judge her(I was a victim of that as well)
    6)Giver her daily to-do tasks. Use pictograms, to-do notes. Try doing this in your own life, no matter how perfect you are. slowly she will realize.sk her to remind you to do certain things in your own day-to-day schedule.
    7)Teach her sense of direction. It is important. Ask her to find her way out of a shop . I still find it very difficult and it affects my driving skills
    8)Make her watch movies without lettig her take breaks. Aks questions about the movie
    9)Teach her a system for cleanliness. She needs to make her own bed, if she finds something lying down she needs to pick it up. Teach her the importance of not procrastinating things.

    I shall update you with more tips. Mostly the ones I follow.
    I am so happy you started this post. I keep searching for ADHD posts and I alomost jumped when I swa your post on the right side today. Let no other kid undergo what I have been through.
     
  3. itsjustme

    itsjustme Silver IL'ite

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    I was clingy to mother at the same time never listen to her. Find out how she interacts with friends. Like for example, kids who stop midway or get bored during a game will proabably end up annoying other kids(you know who I am talking about :))
     
  4. teacher

    teacher Platinum IL'ite

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  5. outofthebox

    outofthebox Platinum IL'ite

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    Wow itsjustme!

    I am just back home from our short vacation, and I really can't tell you how glad I am to get such tips from you first thing in the morning when I opened this page....And believe me, my DD's issue is only 24/7 in my head, which is why I rushed to check the progress of this thread...!!!!

    It really means a lot when a person who has undergone the same thing tells how to tackle kids with such issues :)

    Even during our journey back home in train, there was yet another incident where my DD again tested my patience. But since my aunt was with me, I was somehow able to manage it easily. She kept telling me to be patient and patient and patient..

    Now knowing that this is a disorder pains me in a way to see my child different from the others in this way, but then, I must say that I am so thankful for such tips from all you guys...

    Now that her school will start, I will make sure that I follow all these tips very sincerly.......
    Please keep coming here to share your thoughts....and I will also update my progress here for sure.

    Dear Mod: Personally, I feel that this thread contains vital information by so many people here, and that too coming from the horse's mouth (for now, the horse is "itsjustme" :) ) ....if possible, please make this a sticky whenever you think it fit....
     
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  6. outofthebox

    outofthebox Platinum IL'ite

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    Went through this site. I think the points mentioned are the same as what I read and posted in my 1st link.....
    Based on those symptoms only I felt that she maybe having this problem....

    Even before I approach a professional, I want to really follow the idea of taking notes of her behavior, and also as itsjustme suggested, will try to make her also write something in her own dear diary kind of book....Now that we are back home, my initial observation of her in the past few hours is that she is very normal, and even my neighbor is so happy that she is back as she used to keep them occupied....But the thing is, all of us elder to her....and the main concern that I have is her behavior with kids of her age, and also people whom "she feels or thinks are not talking to her normally", which actually is not the truth.

    Now her school will start from tomorrow, and that too she is joining a new school, so she will have to make new friends....So for me, it will be a good chance to see if all these behaviors are repetitive or not.....
     
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  7. outofthebox

    outofthebox Platinum IL'ite

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    you know what? point no. (2) is something which I find so difficult to enforce in her. many many times i have done calm talks with her on the consequences, but it just doesnt get into her system at all. i am sure even moms having normal kids will have issues, but i guess after a certain point, those kids will get accustomed....but in my DD's case, no matter how much I tell her about the consequences, and also about not rewarding her, she seems to take it very easy, and still continue with her tantrums.

    say, i have promised to reward her for a good behavior, and if i try to use that point when she goes uncontrollable, she simply says "ok i dont want that" or something in those lines. so sometimes i think that its no point trying to tell her when she is in a bad mood, so i wait and again try to tell her when she is calmer. at that time she listens, but when it comes to a similar situation the next time, there's no effect of having such lengthy talks...! :-( all these make me loose my calm, and but nowadays trying to control myself, but i get disturbed within....so, am really sorry if i am also venting out in the process of trying to gather information on how to deal with this kind of a behavior..

    in the process, i simply tried to google for some simple tips on how we can coax children like these to understand the consequences of bad behavior, and rewarding for good ones....and came across this site.

    ADD / ADHD Treatment in Children: Finding Treatments that Work


    This particular sentence seemed to answer what exactly was running in my mind

    Patience is key with behavioral therapy, since people with ADD / ADHD are notoriously variable in their symptoms. One day, your child may behave beautifully, and the next, fall back into old patterns. Sometimes it may seem as if the training is not working. However, over time, behavioral treatment does improve the symptoms of ADHD.

    Also, this one was also close to what I have been actually planning for my DD in a couple of months.


    Activities that require close attention to body movements, such as dance, gymnastics, martial arts, and skateboarding, are particularly good for kids with ADD/ADHD. Team sports are also a good choice. The social element keeps them interesting.

    She is interested in learning roller skates since a few years, but since we could not find a good center nearby, i had been postponing it...but am so glad that I was able to identify the sport that she likes, and also it seems to come under the category for kids with ADHD symptoms...so now it looks like the onus is on me to find a good center for her as early as I can...already her school has told that they will offer tennis as sports...so will enroll her for that too....and somehow i have noticed that my DD likes to play a lot of outdoor sports, but not those which involve team effort....i am hoping that all these kind of activities will help to shape her up in a better way, and maybe even erase the symptoms that she seems to be showing now....!
     
  8. outofthebox

    outofthebox Platinum IL'ite

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    Today I seem to be on information gathering spree, and I found this article quite interesting.
    I think these can also be used as pointers clubbed with constant monitoring of our child using tips provided by ILs out here....

    http://www.parenting.com/article/adhd-or-immaturity
     
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  9. racr

    racr Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi Outofthebox!
    Hugs to you and your DD! Please check out this website PRAYATNA: Centre for Educational Assessment and Intervention. Prayatna is Bangalore based.I don't know anything about Prayatna as such,but I have heard about the founder Dr. Aruna and read an article she has written...was quite impressed. Hope it helps!
     
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  10. Rakhii

    Rakhii Moderator IL Hall of Fame

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    Making this a sticky thread as we have wonderful inputs about ADHD specifically.
     
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