I trust my 16 year old DD but her closeness with boys makes me little uncomfortable!!

Re: I trust my 16 year old DD but her closeness with boys makes me little uncomfortab

IF I was your DD I would want my mom to give me some space.

If I were you, I would keep the space but talk to her casually about a "mother's worries", may be even cook up stories about friend's DD ;-)

You well know its this age...so dont hold on to her neck but do keep your hands on her shoulders....so she knows when she needs she can lean on...


Do talk to her about blocking from FB but dont force her in undoing it.....U kno na that any tag by friends can make you think anything....may be that's why she chose to block u....

 

Re: I trust my 16 year old DD but her closeness with boys makes me little uncomfortab

Ya that age!!! When I used to hate my mom for asking too many questions!

Turns out, it wouldn't have been bad had I answered them, nothing harmful, nothing out of the line, nothing extravagant about it, but just wanted to have some space and the feeling of doing something without "telling" or "asking".

Its that age, really.

I suggest, you can call all her friends (including guys) over for some small treats every now and then, so that you know what kind of people she hangs out with. Be friendly without asking too many questions, but just observe.

And ya, DG is right. My mom cooked up a lot of stories!!! :bonk

 

Re: I trust my 16 year old DD but her closeness with boys makes me little uncomfortab

Try knowing about her friends both boys and girls by inviting them home as Smriti says..If your DD says we will not be able to eat out,say door delivery would be fun with friends around..If they like it,then they would prefer to come to your place for a meet,and you will also be relieved..

 

Re: I trust my 16 year old DD but her closeness with boys makes me little uncomfortab

Blessed, its all in the age as others said...my cousins of the same age go to malls n movies together with boys..i think you should give her some space..i have faced this from my mom too..as mothers its our duty to protect our kids but being overprotective is wrong..this is what my mom did and i would say the worst part of my life is teenage..you are in guntur, i dont think its not that big city that you cant keep track of your daughter..do that once in a while but dont keep pestering her abt that..trust me not all teenagers are wrong...

 

Re: I trust my 16 year old DD but her closeness with boys makes me little uncomfortab

We all have had our mother daughter conflicts when we were teenagers right?
Its your job as a mom to lay down the boundaries and its the teeanagers to push them .

Though i think no matter what, moms need to stay in control in order to avoid having an argument escalate into a hurtful ugly fight. To stop this from happening moms might say"I won't discuss this with you until you can talk civilly" and walk away. Later moms and daughters can talk about whether there was any truth to the accusation. Most important it's an opportunity for moms to teach their daughters that how they say something is just as important as what they say.

So Ok her mobile is locked and you cant even track her friends on FB.
Now either its because you are a strict mom (you dont really sound like one though) or that your daughter is actually hiding something (otherwise she would not block you from FB).So basically its communication gap that has to be reduced here.You must know more about her friends but ask it in a way which doesnt make it obvious.

She's 16 and by now she knows whats wrong and whats right.You said she dresses sensibily that goes on to prove my point
And remember You've lived through 2 AM feedings, toddler temper tantrums, and the back-to-school blues. So why is the word "teenager" causing you so much anxiety?...chill!!
Your teenager is doing just fine

 

Re: I trust my 16 year old DD but her closeness with boys makes me little uncomfortab

I personally would not like my son/daughter stay out late simply because it is unsafe. Maybe you could tell your daughter to finish her socializing before say six in the evening. Another point here is that children do not realize the value of money. I have one son and we do everything for him. He is five and we have started saying NO to toys every time we go to the market. I may sound old fashioned but that my line of thought. As long as the child is dependent on us he/she has to inform parents and not get irritated when parents call.

 

Re: I trust my 16 year old DD but her closeness with boys makes me little uncomfortab

Well i would say give her a pepper spray, ask her to install bsafe , gps tracker, find my friend or an app like that so that you know where she is and be honest to you....

I agree space is required by the child but rather than shutting off the parent she should also be a little receptive of the concerns you have and her responsibilities.....

And by now i assume you have had ''the talk'' with her regarding boys.......


Note:
you will require a smartphone to use the android apps, even cheap one's will do to give realtime locaion updates..........

Bsafe doesnt require you to have a smartphone as it gives sms only and a link to map location in emergency which can be seen through normal gprs enabled phone

 

Re: I trust my 16 year old DD but her closeness with boys makes me little uncomfortab

She might need some space. But your concerns is genuine as well. Don rush into this. Act calmly.
When I was at teens, I used to blindly oppose my parents for everything. They should be handled very carefully. Make her favorite dish on a holiday or something. Make the environment pleasant @ home. Talk about your concern gradually. As someone already said, ask her to come home before 6 pm. Tell her it’s because of the safety issue. If you talk so much about guys, she might mistake in a way that you do not trust her at all and she will just get hurt and will never listen to you. So talk carefully. Don't worry. Everything will be fine.