Do you have a special needs child??

dearmost shanti,

how is your son and daughter
how is your health..................
now that krithi is in Sankalp, she is fine in her subjects, no languages, she is learning karate, dance, cooking in school. i take her for music classes, her father takes her for judo classes...................so i have left everything to God Almighty...........he has to take care of krithi..........as a mother i have really struggled hard to put her in Sankalp, now my husband wants to take krithi out of Sankalp and put her in a mainstream......................with all these tensions........ i am going into Post Menstrual Syndrome.........PMS..........becoming sick very often, very depressed at times, at times i am normal.............last 20 days i am so sick..............my husband is taking krithi to school, my mother had come and stayed for 15 days and today she is gone, she used to take krithi and anki to music classes................

last week i shouted at krithi, telling her that she is a dyslexic, so slow in everything, she cried so much, i too cried so much................, then i had to console krithi , but i have hurt her inner feelings,
some how i come out of these, with yoga and meditations, more of introspections, and of course people like you in IL..........365 experiences in 365 days in life....................all of you are of great support for me.........
thankyou so much
love
padma

dear selvi,

thanks a lot for those inspiring words for krithi.............. i feel i have got used to all these in my life, at times we need emotional support from people like you all in this world..............i will be somewhat releived once krithi moves to college.......... atleast she will be able to handle anything on her own................

love
padma

Originally Posted by padmavathi m

dearmost shanti,

how is your son and daughter
how is your health..................
now that krithi is in Sankalp, she is fine in her subjects, no languages, she is learning karate, dance, cooking in school. i take her for music classes, her father takes her for judo classes...................so i have left everything to God Almighty...........he has to take care of krithi..........as a mother i have really struggled hard to put her in Sankalp, now my husband wants to take krithi out of Sankalp and put her in a mainstream......................with all these tensions........ i am going into Post Menstrual Syndrome.........PMS..........becoming sick very often, very depressed at times, at times i am normal.............last 20 days i am so sick..............my husband is taking krithi to school, my mother had come and stayed for 15 days and today she is gone, she used to take krithi and anki to music classes................

last week i shouted at krithi, telling her that she is a dyslexic, so slow in everything, she cried so much, i too cried so much................, then i had to console krithi , but i have hurt her inner feelings,
some how i come out of these, with yoga and meditations, more of introspections, and of course people like you in IL..........365 experiences in 365 days in life....................all of you are of great support for me.........
thankyou so much
love
padma

Padma,

My son is still disorganised, never cares too much about his neatness, feels so bad if he does not win and daughter is just opposite. so having full hands with both..on top of it..their sibling tutu main main..sometimes it goes out of your control..

My health will take a long time...i am hoping i don't detiorate the condition worser...and if i can continue stable that is all i need..what with prayers from people like you i think god will think twice before knocking me again...

Tell your husband, let her continue here....for some more time...and you can coach her for the nios ...maybe in a year you can make her write her exams there....

In the mean time ask her to write about what she likes, the story books, her sister, her house, her first cooking recipe anything..other than studies...inculcate the habit of writing..let her have a diary also..you get one with a key..which could make it special to write..you are making her to open herself and express....

It is ok to be angry.. ...but words when the child is sensitive will push them back into their shell..specially kids like my ds sri and kirthi....I am not trying to make you feel bad..let us move forward..let us ensure we don't do it again...

my son is very fond of eating..he eats even if he is bored.(this happened 2 years back)..it so happened, he was becoming lethargic..so one day i was worried and was complaining to veda, veda without thinking he shouted, just sit and eat the whole day...you will not believe, DS stopped eating for one whole day..he would not listen to me...when veda consoled him..he said i don't want you to be angry with me dad...i will not eat anymore..if it makes you happy..it was one incident, that showed us he is too sensitive and we think twice before using any words....

you are good at yoga, do yoga, and meditate...if you feel very upset or angry,tell you children,kid's i am feeling too angry, please behave and don't push me to scold or hit..(this is what i do..)

you are more upset because maybe deep down you are scared if your husband will upset krithi..talk to him..it is the only way...let him understand that she is more happy....

you can always talk to us here.....you are right everyday is a an experience..and if it was all roses, we will not fight...

I once read a autistic mother saying...God wanted to me to learn patience..and he gave me my son.....( when i sit and think how true and how deep the meaning of it runs...)

(PMS is very easily treated.there are lot of drugs in allopathy. there are natural methods to cure it..will tell you after i ask my doctor when he visits me....)

Hi All,
There are lots of treatments now available for special children . Its only that the parents should realise that their kids are a bit different from the normal and need a bit of special care. I am not a professional of this education. But I have a sister who is a rehabilitation professional.

She is an EARLY INTERVENTIONIST. It means she is a professional treating 0-3 years special kids . She works for SWEEKAR , a project of NIMH.If anyone has any queries related to such children please do mail me. I will get the solution from her till she gets net access.

Regards
Sri

srivatsa,

Thanks for letting us know.

I think early interventionist are the need of the hour. but many parents don't understand that something is wrong when the child is 0-3. so when she has net access. it would be a good thing if she could give pointers to people how to identify if there is a problem....

Originally Posted by padmavathi m

dear archana,

you both are so nice, what a nice sister anirudh has...............
thank you so much for the concern you have shown for krithi................tears are rolling, i should definitely meet you, your mother and your brother....................i want krithi to meet this new anna in her life.............. so that she is happy..............gains more confidence in herself............
thanks archana dear..............

with all these pressures, sometimes i shout at krithi so badly...................nobody understands me and her...............except her sister ankitha, but she is also a kid.
how much can i expect from that kid..............krithi, ankitha and myself form a nice group...........we enjoy the company........................
now her father wants to take krithi out of that school, he says she is not dyslexic, when compared to other kids in that school...............i know very well, if krithi is taken out of that school, she will again suffer in the mainstream schools................i am praying that she should continue for another year or two.........and she can take up exams in NIOS, Open School...............later she can specialize in whatever subjects she is interested in the college, so everyday is not the same in our house.........with krithi's problems............i have to handle everyone, with support from you people i manage each........

bye dear
love
padma

Hi Padma,

When i read your first post, i could visulaise kirthi and all tht she is going through. Itis wonderful tht she has a parent like you. I may be too young to comment, but I feel Shanvy's comment on "god has given such kids to learn patience" is very true.Not only patience, but real victory -you will feel it evertime, kirthi does something - cooks, draws etc.

All the more good that you recognised her problems, and put her in a good place.Please Please dont put her in main stream. She will tackle it and come, but will lose a childhood. She will not hav time for anything like drawing etc( like how ani had to lose cricket). Dont do tht. I understand how your husband tells. My father was also like that. But please dont give in. Ppl have a social stigma to say that their kid studies in a special school. I dont seem to understand the logic behind it.

About the stress you are going through, i thinkitis natural. Even amma faced the same problems. She has screamed at him, telling he is not to be born and all. All those times, i only used to console him. Similarly, tell your daughter ankita to console kirthi whenever you scold her. She will feel sad, but will feel tht someone is there for her. Also, the bonding will increase. Being a girl Kirthi has lots of options before her. She can study anything from fashion to catering. Talk to your husband, about the problems she will face. Your kid will lose her joy, her childhood and will get burdened - all for a parent's wrong decision.

Even am really looking fwd to meet kirthi. last night, i read your post (the first one in the dyslexia for kids thread) and started crying. Dont worry - There is a lot of help availalbe today.

dear archana,

today i read what you had posted for krithi, she was so happy, she told me, mama "i will also study like that anna ,

thanks a lot archana

bye dear
love
padma

dear shanti,

yes i learnt patience through Krithikaa. i would like to meet you all very soon with my kids. God gives us such kids to us to learn patience and tolerance..............
i wish you good health, long life, wisdom, peace and happiness.
valzhga valamudan............

love
padma

yes padma,

we have to definitely meet...let us see how things work out...

Hey Shanthi,
I am kicking myself for missing this thread. I was off and on these last few days and could not really concentrate while browsing too. Various reasons.
Shanthi, you have done a good thing by starting this thread. Now I feel we have a good circle to support each other. I am so happy about this. I know how hard it is, I am still going thro that.
Generally people look down upon others who are not performers. What they forget is, the same fate could befall them any moment, God only knows about that. On one hand, we are feeling sad about our child's plight, another hand doing whatever is possible to help the child, exhaisiting ourselves mentally and physically and we have to face such people's comments also.
I do not want them to get the same experience, God forbid, but wish that they try to understand the problems of others. We don't need sympathy, we need only undeerstanding. When that is not received even from the close circle itself, it is really difficult.
I need not say anything about my son, he is now IL famous. My husband has forcibly admitted him in the Comp. group and he is struggling with maths again. I do not know what to do.
Archana, my son also works hard like your dear brother, he has to put in more effort to get fair results. He seems to be always studying only, no recreation at all. Like your brother, my son is also obedient, hard working, and understanding. I now feel that he could have a good career in teaching, he could do PG in Comp. and then Teachers training. he is patient with younger children. Let me wait and see how it all works out. He is not able to decide for himself. I am still looking for different options.
I have an idea, could we all meet up sometime during this summer? We could bring the heroes also and enjoy ourselves and exchange notes. In May, all will have holiday, lets think about it. What do you all say?