How to handle a adamant kid?

Hi Yusha
Please check this
http://www.indusladies.com/forums/s...-age-literal-education-child.html#post2251699
http://www.indusladies.com/forums/t...eschooler-tantrums-especially.html#post439072

and this link has more
http://www.indusladies.com/forums/toddlers/39072-check-here-first-alphabetical-list.html

 

Children, are masters at winding you around their fingers..and playing you..the trick is to be FIRM when you have to be..

the root cause ..

Toddlers go through this phase of NOW...and that is when parents have to learn not to give in.. if she starts crying distract her from the situation..


A child also gets frustated and reacts to the not getting his way, and is more intolerant to what is happening around her when things go against his need. So the basic thing as parents is to learn to say yes to their feelings and accept and understand that.. there is more to the tantrum than what is seen on the face..

If the need is reasonable let us say yes and if it is not, even then let us say yes to the feeling beyond the need..they are only looking for that acknowledgment..

It works in all ages...and i have learnt this the hard way with mine..I know it feels that i have stated two contradictory things above..but let me assure no..just relax and think about it...

 

Hi, I'm sravanthi. I have 6 years old boy. He is too adamant and he don't want to do daily routine like brushing. , toilet and eating. I really got fedup with him. Bcz of him I didn't plan for second baby. Whatever I say he will say no. Plz help me how to handle him. I will become mad if he is doing like this. Plz tell me your suggestions

 

EXACTLY SAME ISSUE IS WITH ME...GALS HELP US OUT!!!

I really want to plan second one...but because of him i am not planning no body can handle him...not my dh, not my mom...no one.

 

Hi everyone,

Even i am having a adamant kid. She dont listen at all. Even night at 12 she will shout or cry and she is loud. Today she is just 3 years old but still so naught. Even if i scold her she does not get scare. While taking bath, while having lunch, while going outside, while in lift she will do lots of mischievous.
Everytime and everyday i tell her dont do this and that. But all in vain.

Please friends give some guidance.

 

@prachi.b do you tell her no don't do this, don't do that very often. then she is going to not listen. if you use it more times in a day, the child is not going lose respect for the word. it should be used only when you really mean it. when my son was a toddler, when is said no..it was no..if he still tried acting smarter then it was a capital N O spelled n o..which meant mom means business. so choose your words wisely.

say she is shouting in the middle of the night.. i would not say no stop it. i would tell her "I know you love to shout and have masti, but right now the whole world is sleeping and everybody would know it is only her who is making noise. and she would be at the top of the list of people who do not care about others who are sleeping.." make it a story form. she will understand. if she still does it. keep repeating. and the next day ask one of her grandparents or favorite to tell her they heard her in their place.....affirmative way of making them understand it rather than negating.

similarly in the lift, or other places. talk about the positives and negatives. do not use the word no..or say don't do it. or i said don't do it. it is that age where they test limits and you need to be consistent and FIRM.

 

@shanvy, Thanks for your valuable suggestion.

Definitely now i will try to use less words of "don't do this and don't do that"

My child know i will scold if she opens a drawer or play with windows purposely. Actually if she opens the drawer she just takes everything out from the drawer and then its my duty to keep everything on place. At this situation i have to say don't do it.

I know atlast my kid wants attention that's why do all the mischievous just to grab the attention.

Yes, if she is crying loudly i definitely tell her that her other friends are laughing then sometime she keeps quite immediately but some times not.

Again thanks shanvy.

 

It is called positive affirmation. it works a lot. even as adults instead of thinking i can't do it, if you think maybe if i try i can crack it, gives you a boost. it is the power of positivity. so next time use no only when you really mean and she knows that you mean it.

exactly she wants your undivided attention. so give it her. it is ok if you have to work for 30 minutes late into the night it is worth having a happy satisfied child then a irritated child and a frustrated and tired mom. and next time she drops everything out of the drawer tell her that you believe she has become a master and knowing where everything was before she started and you will count to 20 sitting closeby and she should put it back. that way she knows that she can't just mess up and expect you to pick. you can teach her organising. you are never too young to learn. she will learn it slowly but it would be lesson for life.

why should you bring the feeling of embarrassment that her friends are laughing. no do not create that feeling, it will make her a overtly self conscious child looking for others reaction for everything she does.. better tell her all the good things about her. that she is a loving and good child, that she knows crying is not going to get her everything. and sometimes if she is crying out a tantrum, just let her cry. you don't react to it. the sooner she realises she cannot get a reaction out of you, she is going to stop crying out loudly. and if she is doing it for a genuine reason, hug her, pacify her and calm her and that should take care of the crying...

It is a learning curve..and you will learn together..hang in there...

 

@shanvy, thanks again for your suggestion. Definitely i am trying to follow your tips and trying to remain postive and calm.