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Bullying and depression in indian kids in US?

Discussion in 'Schoolgoers & Teens' started by polymorphic, May 16, 2012.

  1. polymorphic

    polymorphic Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi Friends,

    This is a question to all the indian mothers of school-going kids in US. I want to know whether the indian kids in the US are facing bullying and teasing because of their skin color and race?? On one occassion, I asked my friend in US what kind of lunch does she pack for her kids.Her answer was a bit disturbing . She mentioned that she packs only non-indian food because her kids face a lot already. i did not ask her exactly what. Her kids are very smart in studies but always shy and dont look very happy. My question to all such ladies is that is it true that kids face a lot of bullying because of our skin color, foods, etc. I have to decide whether to stay back in US or not? Thats why want to know whether it is good for long term?

    Thanks
    poly
     
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  2. hemalathaK

    hemalathaK Platinum IL'ite

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    I don't think the bullying is common .I always pack Indian foods to my daughter and never did my daughter said that her friends tease her except for the chicken and eggs.very rarely I give her sandwiches.

    And my daughter doesnt look unhappy.She is cheerful as always.And here there is a strong rule to punish those who bully or intimidate Others.So nothing to worry according to me.
     
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  3. ars

    ars Platinum IL'ite

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    I guess it depends on which part of the US you live in.
    I can speak for a metro city. We live in a place where you find all colors and all ethnicity of people. My kids have never had any problem. Both my children have very good friends from all races. Regarding food choices my experience has been the opposite. Lemon rice was a popular lunch item in their lunch box.
     
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  4. polymorphic

    polymorphic Platinum IL'ite

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    how old is your kid? does she go to private or public school? i dont know much about the schools here. are there boys as well? i may sound being paranoid but the recent news of so many teen suicides due to bullying and cyber-bullying has scared me
     
  5. polymorphic

    polymorphic Platinum IL'ite

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    ars: thats good to hear. Yes, somehow, there is this misconception among indian parents that kids will be teased if they send indian food. maybe, they have had bad experiences. good that they like lemon rice :) even i pack only yogurt and other snacks for my kid. but she is very young for really comparing and she is just going to playschool.
     
  6. rose2000

    rose2000 Silver IL'ite

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    We have been in 6 different schools and my daughter is in 6th grade now. She was bullied 3 times for different reasons
    1. Kindergarden for the food
    2. 1st grade with other Indian kids in the school bus for her skin color by African american boys.
    3. In school bus by senior kids (not because she was Indian but because she was junior)

    On the 2nd & 3rd occasion- I complained to the school board and they took severe actions. For the 1st she didnt bring it to my attention at all.
    Like people said here it depends on the place (100% white community or mixed ethinicity) where you live. we are in the current school district for the last 3 yrs and no issue of skin color or Indian food. Infact her bench mates love Indian food and she always packs extra when she takes Indian sweets/snacks.
    NO matter your country of Origin , bulliying kids will always bully somebody. You just have to teach you kids to be strong and stand up for themself and also tell the teacher/parent immediately if it happens.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 17, 2012
  7. polymorphic

    polymorphic Platinum IL'ite

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    It is really tough when they are young i guess and cant explain to parents about their problems. I am not sure if such incidents can leave a lasting impression on the young minds. Whether they will have a complex built inside. I guess we have to be very careful of the schools and the company our kids keep.
     
  8. shyamalajh

    shyamalajh Gold IL'ite

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    My son is in high school now, all his education has been in US. My daughter is in intermediate school. They never had any problem from non-Indians. In my son's case another Indian kid created some trouble but now all is fine and they are friends. This Indian kid used to trouble other non-Indian kids as well and was punished a few times. My daughter never had any problem. About food, just avoid curries, the strong smell and the texture is not well received by non-Indian kids. Kids tend to have strong likes and dislikes and comment. They feel curries are gooey. My daughter loves paneer curry and took it once, every one had comments.

    Schools generally appreciate(in lower grades)if parents go and talk about festivals, etc. I go on Deepavali and tell them the Narakasura story and Take some Indian festival food for kids to eat. It is a good way of introducing culture to kids and making it easy for kids. I also take some Rangoli designs and kids love having those. I show the earthen lamps we use on deepavali. They find them very pretty and interesting. The teachers can easily draw the similarity between deepavali and christmas in the way it is celebrated and the moral. They too help me in explaining. In schools where many Indians are there, they even organize India day. These kind of awareness programs will help kids. Be active in PTO. If bullying happens, report to counselor right away. Make them take it seriously. Teachers can't do much.
     
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  9. freddycat

    freddycat Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear Poly,

    I always packed only American food for lunch/snacks. Carrot/apple/peanut butter sandwich/nuts (not comfortable in packing sandwich meats) and let my son sign up for school lunch, mostly.

    My son was bullied at the bus top (in middle school) and the kids followed him home, got into our garage along with my son (set of kids > 6). My son called, dad immediately, and DH called 911 before even, got home. DH works 10-15 minutes from home. (If it is me, I wouldn't called police). Police went to school, filed the compliant and also, went to door-to-door in each & every kids home, canvassing to parents about their kids behaviour. It caused some friction (as well as alert) in our neighbourhood and all the kids, were requested to send written apology to school. The kids were severely warned by police/school, if any such a future incident will get into their school record permanently.

    The only reason, I can think of at that time, as a typical Indian kid, my son used to be in advanced school programs (only Indian boy at the bus stop) and didn't have much interaction with the neighbourhood boys. That year, in school, my son was awarded as one of the 'role model' student. After that 1-police complaint, we never had any other problem, we continue to live in the same place. Later, our neighbourhood block captain said, he could have handle it! Yeh, right, his boy was also on that list. Personally, I believe, kids reflect their parents mind-set at a young age.

    BTW, our neighbourhood is high-end white collars with ethnic group of Indians minority (no Chinese/Hispanic/blacks). Good (public) school district and due to higher property taxes, I see more floating population of families, i.e, move in and move out after their kids graduate from high school.

    I would recommend, parents participation in school events regularly and also, volunteering in school activities helps to stop the bullying. Getting to know the other parents in school is the key (helps). Please take bullying in school/neighbourhood seriously, Otherwise, it will affect our kid, psychologically.
     
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  10. Nivedhiya

    Nivedhiya Bronze IL'ite

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    Its each individual's way to approach.If you give the child the confidence with their identity they will learn to adapt to situations.My daughter you will be surprised gets bullied more by Indian kids!It has nothing to do with being an Indian!

    Pack food that is easy to eat without getting the hands soiled ...thats all.If its chapati give it as a roll
    If its idli cut it into pieces so they can use a fork and eat it etc etc ...
     
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