I Hate To Ring This Warning Bell - But I have no choice!

How can Varalotti keep off from his ever questioning and self introspection posts for this long?! Oh yes, it was high time we came down from the la la land and jump into reality:)
For that's what is reality, a world full of all the fallacies of the human species. I hope I am not sounding too skeptical. But these traits of hypcricy, jealousy, envy, arrogance and so on seem to be an intrinsic part of the human psyche along with their positive cousins such as tolerance, sympaty, generosity and so on. Why the negative attitudes overshadow the positive ones in many of us is a matter for eternal discussions.
Like lying, hypocricy is the other negative attitude which can be positively used(!!) to alleviate hurt at many times. At the same time, a hypocritical person is a bitter pill that has to be taken with a lot of sweet tasting drink. How many of us have not suffered at the hands of such a friend, relative or a colleague?
This good friend of ours was full of talk as to how liberal and tolerant he is and has no discrimination against religion, caste, creed and so on till his daughter eloped with a muslim boy. He was shattered. Another example one often comes across are those with this 'oh so holier than though' attitude. But are faaaar from practising it.
Coming closer to ME, I am the one at my home who is interested to know more about spirituality, understand Gita and other self improvement annals. My husband and kids have not the aptitude for it. But come a trying situation, it is me who is all broken and hurt and my husband is reacting just the way one should, with stability and self control??:)...Hm, makes me wonder.I have a looong way to go!
There you are Sridhar, once again you have put me on an intropective mood. Okay, I am working on it...:)

L, Kamla

Dear All,
I know I will be making you heavy with this post. I too felt a heaviness while writing it. We become heavy when we see this quality in others and heavier still when we see it in ourselves. When my friend called yesterday afternoon, I did not pick up the call, for I had set my mobile phone in silent mode so that I can take rest.

When I returned the call the words came very naturally to me. "When you called me, I was in a crucial meeting." After letting out the words I realised that I should have told him that I was sleepy and hence silenced my mobile. That was a clear case of hypocrisy. I think for me it would take some more births to correct the habit.

The welcome news is there are areas where I have to some extent minimised hypocritical explanations. The other day a client noticing a three-day hair growth on my face asked me, "So busy, you cant shave?"
"Exactly the opposite." I replied. "So lazy, that I didn't."

The day I will be able to say that kind of an honest reply to such a direct question I will consider myself free of hypocrisy.

Mahabaratha gives a very strong instance of hypocrisy in action. The great battle is on. One day Arjuna and Krishna are returning from the battlefield.
They see an old man going round a fire he has just made. It looks as if the man was going to jump into the fire after going around it 3 times.
Arjuna got off the chariot and asked the old man about his grief. He said that his son had been killed in the war. Arjuna was all sweetness. He put his hand on the old mans shoulders and explained that war meant death. And his son had died as a warrior. And also told him something like what Shakespeare put in the mouth of Julius Caesar:
Cowards die many times before their death
The valiant never tastes of death but once.
Good show, thought Krishna. Then Arjuna explained what exactly is death. That the atman never dies and all that. Gita was still fresh in his mind.
The old man was convinced and abandoned his attempt to kill himself. He went along with Krishna and Arjuna.
When they reach the Pandava's camp a very sad news await them. Arjuna's son Abhimanyu had died in the battle. Arjuna lost himself in grief. He immediately ordered his men to make a huge fire and proclaimed that he would jump into it. The puzzled old man now put his hands on Arjuna's shoulders and repeated whatever Arjuna said. But Arjuna was furious and he would not even listen. Of course then Krishna interfered and pacified him.
But that's hypocrisy for you. In its rawest form. It is easy to advise and preach. But it is difficult to follow and practice.
Did not our Thiruvalluvar say,
சொல்லுதல் யார்க்கும் எளிய அரியவாம்
சொல்லிய வண்ணம் செயல்
It is easy for any one to talk; but hard to act upon it.

I realised that this thread is going to be heavy and balanced it by posting Thiruppavai translation. http://www.indusladies.com/forums/re...iruppavai.html
If you are exhausted looking at this quality, you can relax for a while with a beautiful song of Aandaal.
regards,
sridhar/varalotti

Dear Varalotti

A quote from Martin Luther, the Reformer : " Idolatry and Hypocrisy have ample wages, but truth goes a-begging" We are all for ever looking for good wages, arn't we !

The indoctrination begins at the sapling stage itself. Was ever a child allowed to say that the Emperor wears no clothes ? As we grow, we have to flow and fill the readymade descriptions, moulds, parameters and images installed for us by traditions and cultures. Dissent does rear its head here and there, but, by and large, when the urge to revolt endangers comfort, we learn to conform and appreciate the emollient value of hypocrisy.

It is our ego that makes us formulate standards for others while exempting ourselves from meeting those very standards.
Parents and teachers fail as models, but rise up, gathering their tattered reputation, to declare: "Do as I say, not as I do." By this, at the very least, they can avoid the stigma of the "forked tongue"label.

Judge not that ye be not judged, as an aphorism, is an attractive ideal, but do/can judgements ever cease ? " Everyman, alone,is sincere. At the entrance of a second person, hypocrisy begins" ( Emerson) With company, it becomes a lifelong process of adaptation, because many times, meaning is lost, not just in translation from thought to word, but also in comprehension of intent. It becomes easier to be hypocritical.

My dentist is a deft professional. Doubtless. He uses a mixed bag of implements. Some are sharp, incisive and work efficiently. A few may be a bit jagged or dense. It is possible that a discomfort may arise due to these latter. Yet, if a sincere notification of this fact, in the absence of similar inputs from other quarters,is seen as an affront, provoking hurt and grudges, then the recourse would only be renewal of subscription to Hypocrisy. Glib civility , by far, would seem to be a better option than honesty. Such are the lessons of life !

Learning,
Manjula

Dear Manju,

I love to prioritize your response for my reply (others who have written before Manjula, please bear with me) for the sheer variety of ideas and the vocabulary.
For your entire post sans the last para, I show a hats off sign (nothwithstanding the fact that I do not wear hats; may be after June if helmet-wearing is made mandatory the hats-off sign would have a physical dimension as well). It was a great supplementary post. Thanks.

The last paragraph rendered in your chaste journalistic lingo with all efforts poured in to hide the real meaning also provoked a hats-off sign first. I normally do that to intellectuals - the kanaiyazhi-surrealism types with jolna bags. I was reminded of your review in my VD post and more particularly of your endearing words, " enakku mattum purinchutha enna ?". First I thought that your words stood the test of time and have application to the last para of your this week's post as well.

Then after reading the impugned paragraph an infinite number of times slowly the meaning started to soak in.

Armed with this new academic triumph I ran to my dentist with a volley of questions. He was extra-friendly to me for I had just now paid through my nose to have my wife's teeth lifted up by braces.
Well the long and short of our discussion in the words of my dentist is:

"Sridhar, any dentist has a wide range of tools. This for example (he showed me a small drill bit with a pointed needle) rotates at 32768 rpm and is extremely sharp and extraordinarly powerful while in harness. But see this? (He showed me a blunt stainless steel implement.)
(I shouted a la Manju Reddy, "But this, Doctor, is jagged and dense. Don't say that you are going to use this on your patients - to which class now belongs my one and only wife. First have this repaired, re-sharpened and fully refurbished so that it also becomes as sharp and shiny as the 32768 rpm tool.")
My dentist laughed with the healthy condescension unique to his profession.
"Sridhar, let me finish. Just listen.
See this tool is jagged and dense not by default but by design. At times when I extract a tooth I just give a knock with this tool to take it off. I also use this for various other cleaning purposes, to explain which might take a whole day.
But sridhar, let me give a simile which even a lay person like you can understand. Have you seen the toolbox of an ordinary carpenter?"
(I have Doctor. Only yesterday I had a huge marker board fixed in my bedroom. Not only I saw the tools but I saw them in action)
"Great. You have made my job easy. Carpenters normally use a Raleigh Portable Drill to drill a hole in the wall. They then stick a blunt piece of wood in the hole. And finally use a hammer to drive the nail in. The drill bit of the portable drill has to be sharp. The nail also has to be sharp. But the hammer has to be blunt. A sharp hammer will not only not do its job but also will hurt your hand. Do you get it now?" (Yes Boss, I said.)
"Like at times restatement of the obvious is necessary in a learning session. Is this simile all right?"
("Super boss. Now I need to run and tell this to some one. Bye.)

Learning while admiring,
varalotti

Dear Varalotti,
I am flattered that you prioritize my responses. Thank you.

But duh ! whats with carpenters and drill bits , boss ?

Was rather bumbling along the lines of human traits (- hate to call them frailties) like bruised pride and venting grudges with bananas and needles in unrelated playgrounds . Imagined jumpings. Preconcluded reviews of condemnation and comparison. Like, whats the drift, boss !

"Onnumey puriyaley ulagathuley !"

Regards
Manjula, sincerely believing shadow boxing is injurious to health

Dear Manju,

Hats off to you one more time. I had to drag in carpenters and drill bits to explain the use of and the need for jagged, dense tools.

Agreed, Madam, I am as innocnent as innocence can be. But even the most innocent yours truly could not miss the hidden punch. I was just taking away the needles from my body, that's all.

Jokes apart I salute your wordsmithy. Even now it is difficult for me to believe that you have not yet published.

For your words, Onnumey puriyaley ulagathuley !"
I have to borrow your own words for my response,
"enakku mattum purinchutha enna ?"

Regards,
always your fan,
Varalotti, too sincere even to think of shadow boxing

you guys are rocking.....keep it up.....

Vidya,

It is flattering to have your post as the very first response to this thread. After posting the thread I was a little anxious whether I have gone overboard in my childish enthusiasm. Your words allayed my fears.

There is a parallel to the Victorian England saying. I have my close friend who fasts for one month during a year. During this period he is very religious and upright. And he has a flourishing business in Parrys Corner, Chennai. I know about the trade. I asked him how he was able to manage for a whole month being religious and upright in that trade.

He told me that he has an arrangement with his partner. During that one month he would not attend his business. In the next year when his Partner adopts his religious vows, this man be attending the business.

We are here to relate to and interact and not judge or be judged. So you can go ahead with whatever you want to say.
regards,
sridhar

My threads mimic life in its checker-board patterns, alternating black and white, romance and reality, elation and despair.

And of course we need to land once in a way so that we will have the pleasure of taking off again.

Hypocrisy always hurts, especially when we have recognised that trait. Even the acceptable hypocrisy of social courtesies hurt, if we know the other person does not really mean his gestures and words.

I could see you are troubled, Sudha. I was a little concerned reading your response in the Proverbs thread. Let me offer my prayers to God to fill you up with peace.
Thanks for the participation.
regards,
sridhar

Seena,

Towards the end of your post you have raised a great question whether you will be able to see any human being free from all evils.

I hate to tell you, that it is impossible by the very nature of the definition. For the moment you can see such a being, perfect and blemishless, then she is no longer a human being but a Goddess.

Good human beings, the way in which I see them, are not those who are devoid of any defects;but those who are full of such human failings, but have recognised what is good and what is bad and are constantly struggling to improve themselves. The moment the struggle stops the human being ceases to be good.

Thanks for the post.
sridhar