Back to Warning Bells - The Emotional Unaffordability Of Our Gifts!

Dear Vidya,

Your response in my thread is a gift you made to me and to all those who are fortunate enough to read it. . And from the way it is worded , it is like the gift of the tribal people," rendered in its purest, pristine form. As an offering with no return expected."

I read your following words again and again. Fit to be a sticker-quote. Had such words prefaced my post, I think, I would have received a warmer welcome and a better acceptance.

"We do not gift unconditionally, we exchange one set of commodities or emotions or services for something in return.

And then when the accounts do not tally we whine on how the gift was unaffordable in more ways than one.

When this happens, we end up feeling bitter and left out starched, laundered and hung out to dry--"

I salute the writer in you, and also the kind human being in you. Only that duo working in perfect union can produce posts like this.

I do not think I can add to , comment or modify any of your statements, other than saying a big Wow.

With Warm Regards,
sridhar

Dear Varalotti,
Yes, Boss !
I see your point - though not necessarily converted to it. But I will let it rest there.
You, as writer, do have the recognised need/duty to constantly re-invent and re-present ideas in attractive packaging; and you make a very good job of it too. As a famous saying goes, there are totally only 7 themes which can be written about !
Still , I adored the treatise on Love Ambika posted for Val.Day. She must be the two- millionth person to write on love , but she presented her stream of thoughts simply , as heart-felt perceptions, gently prodding us to send our own thoughts towards the neglected/forgotten/taken- for-granted aspects of love . She, as a writer ,can well afford to call love "sentient symbiosis", "intermutual amity" or some such fashionably obscure noun ,for the express purpose of grabbing eyeballs. That she dint, shows her humility and maturity. This is my honest thought, Varalotti, and i make bold to express it frankly in the hope of finding open-minded reception. I am not trying to compare or provoke or insinuate anything. Pl. dont read me wrong.

Just one more in-corner-of-mind thought : Medical terminology cannot qualify as "jargon" i feel. "Appendicitis" just does not belong in the same club as " Dubai syndrome" or "The Lolita Quotient". What say you ?

Thank you for your patient response and for your gift of those signing- off words "your fan". I shall treasure it.
Regards,
Manjula

Dear Manjula,

A very matured response from you and quite typical of you. I am happy that you have praised my dear friend Ambika here. I am proud to be her friend. And I whole-heartedly accept your statement that her humility and maturity levels are more than mine. Anyday, she is a better writer and has always been an inspiration for me. It was she, who motivated me to take up translation work, and this January my first translation work was published.

Give me one more chance to present my case. As I have said in one of the replies to this thread, I first wrote this as a short story which was published in Vikatan. I just took Vel's incident and made into a story. Ananda Vikatan was pleased to award the Muthirai Status for that. In that story I did not make any attempt to coin a new terminology or invent fresh nomenclature.

But when I present the same theme as a self-improvement article, I owe a duty to my readers to give them some terms to remember, some name to identify the problem and then deal with it. Since fortunately for me, a majority of my readers are not allergic to new-names or terms, not only was this article welcomed, but people accepted the term as appropriate.

Do not consider me as one obsessed with coining new phrases and jargons to impress people. Any writer, even an average, mediocre writer like me, has to attempt at a broad range of genres, to gain acceptance. For example I am into short stories, which may be love stories or otherwise, middles on day-to-day experiencs, self-improvement articles, motivational pieces and at times even poetry. I have to stick to the rules and conventions relevant for the particular genre.
For instance I wrote a middle when our only daughter left us to go upcountry for higher studies. (Varalotti shares his "sweet sorrow" with us !)
I did not use any jargons there; I avoided even the well-known jargon, which even you will accept, the empty-nest syndrome. I did not talk about The Parting Daughther Phenomenon or the HIgher-Education Stress. Because, that piece, like our dear Ambika's piece on love, was to express my feelings. I might have been the 3-millionth parent to suffer the pangs of parting (in fact Ambika has written an even more beautiful article about her son leaving for US)
When I described a touching scene in the snippets forum
http://www.indusladies.com/forums/sn...er-forget.html
as my tribute to manhood, I did not invent technical jargons like "Fathers Share of Attention Syndrome" or "Idli-Feeding-Father Phenomenon". Because those pieces of writing simply do not call for such terms. They are just one's feelings trying to find expression.
There is no place for jargons there.
But there are places where a jargon comes quite handy and at the least serves as some mnemonic help for the readers to remember the points presented.

I am sure when Ambika has to dwell on a subject like emotional affordability, she will not hesitate to use the right terminology.

About medical terminology not qualifying as jargon, Madam, my question is where will you place psychiatry in? It is surely a part of medicine. Dubai Syndrome finds a place in the doctoral thesis presented by a psychiatrist of repute.

I dragged in the medical field to emphasise the use of the naming process. The first step towards controlling a disease or a condition is to name it. Whether that condition is present in the lower abdomen or in the mind, does not make a difference.

Still and always,
your fan,
varalotti

Dear Varalotti
I am silenced. Awed by the nobility of your gesture to patiently explain yourself to me, a rank upstart, when , as a writer of repute, you could have easily ignored the rabble-rousing antics of a nobody like me. Especially since a majority of your readers are not allergic to new terms and they not only welcomed the article but accepted the term as approrpriate.
That you should have found it necessary to expend your time on , what to most personalities of your stature would appear to be , a worthless exercise, has made you in my eyes taller, much taller, than your 6ft.1in. As a person , you are indeed Numero Uno. I am glad I got to know you.
I take your latest post as another gift to me for which I shall remain ever grateful.
Regards
Manjula

Most Gracious Ladies,

It's time again to ring the warning bells. This time I am taking out on one of the ugliest characteristics of human mind.

This pill comes with a statutory warning:

Warning on the Label: Might spoil your week-end.

After the feast we had on Valentines day, which took more than one and a half weeks for us to digest, should we not take some medicines, at least some non-spicy clean food (pathiam)?

Over to you, Ladies.

sridhar/varalotti