The Sperm Donor! - Those With Weak Hearts Stay Back

Most Gracious ILites,

This is one of my most controversial stories. There were editors who dubbed this story as ‘quite vulgar and shocking’.

I have moved with many people who are self-proclaimed progressives. And I find their attitude towards life far more vulgar than this story.

As I love to say every time, please don’t raise questions like, “Is this true? Did it happen?” May be this is slightly ahead of the times. But events like these are quitely happening in metros. Whatever may be the progress made, at one time or other ‘chauvinism’ raises its ugly head and kills many a healty marriage.

Read the story with an open mind and tear the characters to pieces. It is needless to say that you can take the same liberty with the author. If at any point of time you find the narration obscene or offensive, please don’t go any further. And please do forgive me.

Varalotti



The Sperm Donor

A Short Story By Varalotti Rengasamy


Anita entered their bedroom with a cup of milk in her hand and romantic thoughts in her heart. But when she saw Raj in a pensive mood,all dreams of making love fled from her and she braced herself up for another round of arguments.

Raj and Anita, dubbed as the made-for-each-other couple in their circles, had everything life had to offer, except a child. The first five years of marriage without a child was just a long honey moon; but now they felt the pressures coming in from his parents, her parents and their peers.

It was with open minds that they subjected themselves to medical tests which identified some serious problems with Raj. Of course it had nothing to do with his potency or for that matter, his performance in the bed. He was a wonderful lover. Sex, for Anita, was not a Sunday-afternoon formality to be complied with dutifully; but a bi-weekly ecstasy beyond words. But Raj could not father a child.

The Doctors had clearly told that the count was so low that harmonal injections might not be of help. Anita and Raj had resigned themselves to the facts.

And then one of Raj’s friends had advised in vitro fertilisation (IVF) with a donor’s sperm. The gynaec who had examined Anita pronounced her fit for the procedure and they had even tentatively fixed the date. The sperm bank was also notified. And now almost every day they were discussing about the project.

Anita opened the conversation in a lighter vein.

“Looks like the boss wants to say something?”

“Ani dear, there are a few points about this IVF and sperm donation, I am not comfortable about.”

“Neither am I, Raj. I would rather prefer remaining childless than going through the procedure. I consented only because you were particular about having a child. To be frank I find this sperm donation and IVF a little embarassing.”

“Are you kidding? A software engineer and a woman’s lib activist from Bombay being embarassed by sperm donation? I can’t imagine that. Darling, my embarassment has a different reason. A few weeks back we were discussing about adopting a child from an orphanage. Do you remember why we dropped that idea?”

“I do. You told me that to take in a child without knowing its lineage is too much of a risk. And we can’t tell how the child will behave when it grows up, because we do not know about the child’s parents.”

“Precisely. Ani dear, in the project we have before us exactly fifty percent of the lineage risk is still there. Do you agree?”

“How?”

“What is the procedure? The sperm of an unidentified donor will be fused with the eggs from your ovary and the embryo formed by that fusion will be placed back in your uterus. Right? Now in this case you will be the child’s mother; but about its father, the sperm donor, we do
not have any info. The Gynaec said that she won’t divulge the donor’s identity at any cost. And at least half of the child’s qualities and abilities comes from its biological father. So…….. so..”

Raj in spite of his background as a space scientist could not find words to express himself. But these clues were sufficient for Anita to guess what is coming.
Seeing the panic in Anita’s face Raj made a small detour.

“And there is another thing. In spite of the tall assurances given by the Doctor, I am a little scared about this artificial fusion and creating the embryo outside the body.Call it an unfounded fear; but I don’t think I can get over it. Darling, I am against the unknown sperm donor and this artificial insemination. Of course I do want a child for us but without these two hassles. Hence…. Hence……..”

Anita grasped the import of what Raj said even before he could find words to express it.

“What do you mean, Raj? You are against an unknown sperm donor and the artificial process. Then you want me to sleep with the guy of known lineage and get a child for you? Are you in your senses? Or are you still nursing a hangover from yesterday’s party?”
Anita said something more but it was supressed by the sobs. Raj came near her, held her hand and spoke gently.

“Ani Dear, I never expected this outburst from you. Allow for the initial emotions to subside and think it over. You are not a prude, dear. And this is not new. Think about the fertility rites ceremonies practised by most of the older civilisations; the essence of that was childless women were allowed to sleep with the virile men discreetly. And in our Mahabaratha, when the King Vichitraveeryan died childless, his widows, were made to sleep with Vyasa and it was because of that, Dhirudurashtr and Pandu were born.”

“What do you want me to do?” An emotionally exhausted Anita asked in a bland voice.

“That’s a sensible woman. You know my cousin Girish? That tall guy who was kidding you continuously at the time of our marriage? He is an IIT gold medallist. Phenomenol IQ. Athletic build. Comes from a good family. My suggestion is quite simple. Instead of some unknown person’s semen becoming a seed for our offspring, why not we have a child through Girish, who is intellingent, good looking, healthy and of a good lineage?”

“Stop it, Raj. It’s nauseating.” Anita was pleading with tears.

But Raj was determined. His voice had become firm.

“How long are you going to turn your face away from facts? You object to my idea on grounds of conventional morality? Then using a donor’s sperm is equally immoral. Instead of some unknown person fathering our child, why not sleep with the known, healthy person approved by me and beget a good, healthy child in the natural and normal way?”

Anita composed herself and looked pointedly at Raj. He had scored a point over her.

“I am not forcing you to decide the issue now. You sleep on that and come back to me tomorrow morning with your views. But don’t let the Victorian morals befog your thinking. Have you read Arthur Hailey’s novel “Overload?”

Anita just nodded.



“In that novel the husband knowing that he cannot give a child to his wife sends her to his friend’s bedroom when the friend stays with them.

“She also understands the situation and cooperates whole-heartedly. And when the child is born the friend becomes its godfather. But for that fateful day she and her husband’s friend move with utmost decency never crossing the moral bounds.”

Anita was staring listlessly at her husband. Raj knew that he had scored a point again. He did not want to overkill.

“Ani you look exhausted. We’ll talk it over again tomorrow.”

When Raj planted a passionate kiss on her lips, he found that the response was not as passionate as it used to be. He understood.

As usual Raj got up first and woke up Anita with a steaming cup of tea. He also had a cup in his hand and was ready for the final round of talks. He was searching Anita’s face for visible clues. She looked as if she had not slept at all.

Once the tea got into her system she was fully awake and Raj sensed some unusual brightness about her face which he found slightly unnerving. When Anita talked the words came down with unprecedented clarity.

“I feel sorry for my emotional outburst last night. After thinking over your proposition, I am convinced that you are perfectly logical. I guess it is my upbringing that spurred the emotional response. Now I am ready.”

“Oh Ani Dear, that’s great. Shall I talk to Girish now?”

“But I want a small change, Raj.”

Raj threw a quizzical look at her.

“Yes Raj.I know your cousin Girish is great. I do not hold anything against him because he teased me during our marriage. But somehow or other my heart does not go out for him.

“Nor can I imagine any soft feelings towards him. I tried hard last night; I feel only a little creepy, thinking about him. I can’t explain that.Getting our one and only child is such an important thing I do not want it to happen with a man I am not comfortable about. It’s here I suggest a change.

“My cousin Rishi is my choice for the job. He is a CA. He is also a brainy fellow. Super intelligent like your Girish. Good family; a typical lady’s man. Terrific looks. In fact he had a really soft corner for me; thinking of that I too had a crush on him when I was in my college.

“Somehow we parted ways and here I am. Raj dear, I fully consent to your proposition with only a small change; substituting Rishi for Girish. I will take care of the arrangements without any embarassment to you.”

Raj was staring at her in disbelief. Anita thought Raj will hug her for having consented.
But to her dismay his face reddened and his hands trembled. The tea cup fell down from his hand causing a splattering noise. Raj lost his temper and shouted.

“How long have you been carrying on with him, you slut? And when I was making love to you, you were fantasising about that bloody fellow, right? And you now want to enjoy sexual bliss with him under my very nose? You immoral bitch,how dare you?”

It took some time for Anita to understand Raj’s reaction to her suggestion. When the understanding came she was more hurt than offended, more sad than angry. When she recollected herself to speak, her words came out like thunderbolts.

”The male chauvinist pig hidden deep inside your soft exterior has now shown its ugly head, Raj. At first your suggestion to sleep with your cousin was simply nauseating. Then thinking over it I realised what amount of pain you are ready to bear for having a child. You were prepared for a sacrifice that no other husband would dream of.

“At that moment of realisation my love for you doubled, Raj. Your outburst in my change of the sperm-donor was a little confusing at first. Now everything has fallen in place. So long as I sleep with a person you approve there is no problem.

“But, if for the same job I choose a person I like and declare my liking, then your bloated male ego is offended. You immediately start doubting me. You have vulgarised the sex we have had so far by your ugly words. Good-bye Raj. Find out a girl who will enjoy sex with you but also sleep with Girish to give you your offspring.”

Anita walked out of the house as well as the marriage.

Dear Sridhar Sir,

Just finished reading this story and i must applaud you for writting this so well. This is not a story "ahead " of its times. With all the vulagarity that we see in the movies today, there is nothing vulgar or shocking about your story. Am not sure when you wrote this, but it fits todays context veryvwell. There are so many couples going through IVF, surrogate motherhood, sperm donors and egg donors. There was even an hindi movie( two actualy) that i saw recently that dealt with this topic.
You have brought out the emotions so well and yes i totally agree with Anitha and her points of view and how it brought out her husbands true MCP qualities.
Kudos to you. And keep more coming. And can we make this like bi weekly. Once week is too long to wait for Saturdays with Varalotti.

Vandhana

Dear Varalotti/Sridhar,
That was an immensely interesting and absorbing story. You have worked wonders with your imagination and words.
Vulgar is not a word that fits the bill to describe this piece of your writing. It portrays the basic man woman equation beautifully and the games their minds play consciously and sub-consciously. A woman takes pride when her husband is adored and flattered by the female friends but reverse situation often evokes jealousy and anger in the male. There may be exceptions, but fewer and far between.
The story was told with tongue in cheek and had a clever twist to it. You leave your usual indelible mark. The naive me kept thinking that Anita suggested Rishi's name and the little anecdote to make her hubby jealous and realise his folly, but lo, she was serious! You brought out very subtly how human..male??..minds work!
It is a bold subject alright, but in keeping with today's times. Like Vandhana mentions, I too remember seeing more than one movie, indian, on this theme.
Nice one Sridhar. Yes, make it bi-weekly!!!:)

L, Kamla

Hello Sridhar,

I literally clapped for Anita. Yes, thats the sort of females you need to project.
It was a beautiful narration and Sridhar, did you say, Vulgar ???????? No, definitely not in this story.
It is a sensitive subject to handle and you have done a perfect job. Lets have more controversial subjects coming.

Regards,

My dear Sridhar,

Do words called “vulgar”, obscene”, “offensive” still have relevance in today’s world?
A definite “no” is the answer.

The beast inside every man (there is no exception at all !), is waiting to pounce on his wife at the most vulnerable moment. That, as a man, you have admitted, shows that we, women have come a long way, in our interactions with men.

You are becoming an expert at “ woman psychology”, have decided to give them what they enjoy reading and are quite explicit about the same in the third para.

A software engineer and a woman’s lib activist, but still a woman at heart, how can a woman accept to sleep with a stranger purely for the “ valid reason” of “propogation of species”? Sastras say that such a child born of just “made to order lust” or “lust for convenience and purpose” will make a very unworthy citizen of the world.

I liked best, Anita’s parting words
“Find out a girl who will enjoy sex with you but also sleep with Girish to give you your offspring.”
Your hero asked for them!

Love & regards,
Chithra.

Dear Vandhana Madam,

After posting the thread I was restless for a while. I was afraid that ILites might find the thread offensive. Your first reply gave me immense relief, Madam. (As you know very well, a Sir always begets a Madam. Last year I was asked to train some BPO Aspirants. I had to spend a good amount of time to remove the words "sir" and "madam" from the students' vocabulary. Maybe one day I may have the pleasure of training you too.)

I wrote the story in 1998. At that time I was a little cautious. As Kamla rightly guessed I made Anita to say that what she did was a drama to make her husband realise his folly. Even that was rejected by the editors.

I am also thinking of making this a biweekly thread. May be I should ask our moderators to provide me another forum, Wednesdays With Varalotti. Saturdays can be hot and controversial while Wednesdays can be mild and romantic. It would be like the olden days where we used to take oil bath on Wednesdays and Saturdays.

So now, my dear moderators, Laxmi and Kavya, the ball is in your court.
regards,
sridhar

Dear Kamla,

When you say "Vulgar is not the word", I am thrilled. As writer Jeyakanthan used to say every now and then, "I am not a sex-writer. But as a serious writer I cannot avoid sex." I have been having that policy ever since I started writing. To me to write about sex for the sake of sex is pornography. But to pretend that it is not there is hypocrisy. Thanks for approving my stand, Kamla.

What you say about the gender inequality is so sadly true. I am not going to discuss anything about that here as that by itself is a potential thread.

About bi-weekly, please read my reply to Vandhana.

Thanks for your support and nice words of appreciation. Your language is very smooth and there is no trace of any strain in the use of words. I love it.
sridhar

Dear Sridhar.,
The post this saturday was very absorbing.for a man to write on sex to an almost purely ladies forum is very daring. But you are again right to write this in the right place.Our ilite friends find the story interesting with the unexpected twist of Aanitha proposing to sleep with a man of her choice instead of the one suggested by her husband.I do agree with our friend who wrote that children born out of a physical relationship where emotion is not involved may not be good citizens. What a parting shot Anitha gave her husband!.Bold women with positive values boost our maorale sir.Recently my friend who had no children for 25 years of marriage got a girl by surrogate mothering. Here however the sperm and egg were her husbands and hers respectively.So your article is rather educative. There is nothing vulgar or obscene about it.
Regards,
Meenu

Dear Sridhar,
I enjoyed it thoroughly and you have handled a sensitive subject very well. In the begining I thought Raj was desperate to have a child, so he would go to any extent[as in IVF etc]. But the story had a clever twist and turn.
Anitha's character was well portrayed. It took such an incident sadly to bring Raj's underlying emotions.With so much advancement in medical field it is sad to believe that Raj would behave this way. And of course I did not see any vulgarity in your story.
Bye until next Sat.