Mylapore Mamies and MNC Negotiations (Chithra, Please Forgive Me)

Dear Lalitha,

thanks. While I used the word MM to give an extra appeal to the thread, what I have said applies generally to most of the women in Chennai, especially those in the middle class,who have a strong sense of values and an equally strong sense of economy too.

So Mambalam Mamis or Meenambakkam Mamis, you are all included in the expression MM.

Do you know one of their traits, they will extract information from others so sweetly that we will be dumb fools not realising that we have let off all our secrets ( No Offence meant) i.e, the vambu......... specialised they are in this. Hence I dread these mamis you know but you have exceptions..........

I know that. But better hide yourself before someone comes to you with a stick.

But I cannot comment on that since I also do that quite often. The other day I wanted to buy a cell phone. Went to Univercell and almost showed him the cash I had and made it sure to him I am going to buy the mobile from the dealer.

When he showed the set (Nokia 6233) and said that the price is fixed, well, I asked for some discount. He refused. Then I showed my old mobile (a museum piece almost) for which he said he would give Rs.400 at the most. I told him that I would come the very next day to pick up the piece.

Meanwhile I had picked up all the technical information on the mobile - both the old one and the new one.

Armed with this information I went to another Nokia Dealer and now asked for a specific set. (Hey, can you show me a brown colour 6233?) He was impressed. We got a better deal overall and saved about Rs. 200.
(Less than 4 litres of petrol, you think? It's still sizeable.)

If Madurai Mamas are KPs, then I belong to the worst kind. A nagging KP.
ha ha ha.
love,
sridhar

Dear Chithra,
You know I started the thread because whenever it comes to pricing, negotiations and strategies people always look up to big corporations and high-flying executives sitting in glass cabins.

I have had the good fortune of moving with both the classes. Anyday I would vote only for MMs who have a way of negotiating things. In negotiations it is crucial to get information from the other party without parting with too much information. As Lalitha said MMs do it with elan.

Once in his earliest posts to me in this forum, Cheeniya had written, that I am a typical MM – kolam potundu, shlokam sollindu, bakshanam pannindu !

Ask Cheeniay Sir to add "peram pesindhu, bargain pannindu, businessmenaiye bramikka vachindu" That's the purpose of this thread. Had I known Cheeniya's words earlier I would have used it as the title of this thread.

Though old fashioned in our attire ( not wearing jeans, T shirts etc), our jewellery (typicl vairathodu, mookuthi etc), our thought process is comparable to our western counterparts.We are strongly rooted to our culture and respect our traditions a lot, inspite of modern younger generations in our families.

I object to the line I have emboldened here. You MMs are far better than your Western Counterparts. Once a MM travelled from Chennai to Madurai by AC Bus. The AC did not work. The bus operator was my client.The next day she came to the office, showed the ticket and asked for a refund. My client said he could give only 20% of the ticket fare. She demanded 50% and threatened to go to the Consumer Court. In spite of my advising my client to budge in,he refused. Result: she went to the consumer court,got 100% of the fare plus an extra amount for her mental agony. But that apart, the way she negotiated without losing her cool was quite admirable. I don't think an American lady wold have done that so forcefully and so gracefully.

We have never been career women and want to save for our spouses ever rupee of their hard-earned money. But we have the greatest compassion for a very old keeraikari and an elderly pookari – we just pay them more or whatever they ask for, knowingly because we are “dayaa roopaeNa” by nature.

I have seen my mother doing this. She will haggle for every rupee with the fruit vendor. But after the bargain is over they would become friends. Amma would offer her food to eat and would give some old clothes. In terms of value Amma would have gained a Rupee but what she gave out would be several times her gain.

Not only are you multi-faceted! We are, but in our own way!!

Thanks. I know and hence this thread is used to pay tribute to MMs.
love,

Dear Sir
Not just mamis ( of mylapore or mambalam or meenambakkam)all bharatiya naaris ( bai , mai , dai, ben, mausi, ammayi , aachi , ba , in addition to mamis) are great experts in haggling. No pleasure at all to shop in "fixed price" shops.

Full fun in shopping is when going to some place on a trip and visiting vendors outside sightseeing places and buying total useless things never needed ( souvenirs) after haggling in two or three broken languages and bharatnatyam actions for half an hour and proudly getting for Rs. 25 what the fellow said was 26.

Once when we went to Nepal, we were looking at street shops and asked price of one small metal buddha head. He said 500. We told him , are you joking it is only worth 40 or 50. Immediately he packed it in newspaper and said Ok give 50 ! We said, then why you quoted 500 ! He said " saabji, Indian people never buy without haggling, if i said correct price, then also they will waste time asking less. This way, you are also satisfied, i am also satisfied ! "

That gentleman who got close stitches on his slippers, killadikku Killadi !


I am only thinking , very sad your grandmother did not give any good training to your grandfather before he went to buy grapes !

Dear Mythili,

Oh,please, don't think I am discriminating in favour of MMs. For me it is the same. Mylapore Mami, Ayanavaram Mami, Aminjikkarai Mami.. all are the same. But Mylapore Mami is used more frequently in discussions like these. And Mylapore was one of the earliest abodes of Mamis. So by virtue of seniority I gave the title.

And the post covers not just Mamis but all womenfolk, who want their money to give the maximum mileage.

You are right, Mythili. There are some cruel hagglers. I am not for them. You can haggle and if the prices don't match don't do the deal. There are people who accuse the vendors of cheating them and all. That I don't like. Some are pretty heartless even when they utter something by way of a joke. Once I got down at Egmore station early in the morning along with an acquaintance who was like that. We went to the auto stand. He told me that I was quite naive (I was actually at that time, some 30 years back) and that he would do the auto negotiations. An auto driver asked for something like 20 Rs to go to Adyar. (remember those days; petrol was selling at Rs. 2 per litre).
My friend told him.
"Ok then go to Myalpore Kabaleeswarar Temple first."
"What for?"
"And please lend me a piece of cloth. I'll sit along with the beggars, spread the cloth before me and as soon as I collect Rs.20, we can go to Adyar."
The auto-driver hit himself on his head. And yelled "saavu graakki" at us and went about his way.

Seeing your daughter's haggling skills I have a half mind to rename the thread Mumbai Mamis (alas, I don't have the power to change the name of the thread). But in a way your daughter is right. Many people always ask 20% less than what the Vendor has quoted. And the vendor jack up the prices by more than 30% so that even after haggling we lose and they gain. One should know the real price and hold on to it.
Many times I do the same thing as your daughter.But before doing that I tell the vendor, "I am going to ask a price much lower than what you have quoted. But that's the only price I can afford. So don't be offended."
Many vendors smile at this apology and normally agree to a price slightly more than the price I've asked for.

Thanks for the fb, GM. (Do you need an Einstein to expand this acronym?)

Love,

Originally Posted by mithila kannan

Dear sridhar,
That was a wonderful post.But why mylapore mamis,why not mambalam mamis,why not ayanavam mamis.No I am not from mambalam or ayanavaram,the question was asked in a lighter vein.
While ladies are born with gift of haggling in an innocent naive manner ,making the shopwallah take pity on us and bring down the price where as some women actually put the fear of GOD in shopwallahs who try and cheat them.
You have described how you convince the autodrivers about the reasonable fare and they agree.Hats off to you.My husband gets tense even when I suggest that we take an auto because he feels they cheat a lot.His BP increases when somebody mentions auto.
About hagging rices,it was with surprise that I found my younger daughter who is at Mumbai ,the way she haggles.My God,the shopkeeper would say,"Rs.400,madam"and she would say,"No,I will give only Rs 200"and that would be the right price and they agree to give.
It takes guts also to haggle like that.I simply can not,no Iam not mylapire mami,Iam now,guindy mami,may be thats why.
Regards
mithila kannan

Sriniketan,

but in my opinion all the ladies in India do the same....maybe Mamas are not well-versed in this field, where we can take it as a pride...

I don't fully buy that statement. There are some Mamas who do a better job than the ladies. And there are some ladies who do not bargain at all. But given the Indian conditions a lady can bargain with more immunity. Again the emotional intelligence of a lady is better than that of a man. She can always ensure that the haggling does not degenerate into a fight.

Grapes negotiating is quite simple. Had I told it in Tamil you'd have just lauged at at.
My grandfather was hard of hearing. And in a commanding tone he asked the grape vendor to name the price. The vendor said Rs. 3 per kg. May be my grandpa heard it as Rs. 7. So he told him with all strictness, "I wont give you more than Rs. 5 per kg." The whole compartment laughed at this bargaining.
thanks for the fb, Sriniketan.
regards,

Originally Posted by Sriniketan

Sridhar,
Hats off ( or what we may call ...mmm) to MMs but in my opinion all the ladies in India do the same....maybe Mamas are not well-versed in this field, where we can take it as a pride...
I couldn't understand the grapes...negotiating...too bad...

sriniketan

Sridhar,
I got the bargaining of your grandfather....
i truly accept that some of the mamas are good at that and some mamis are not too good at this....there are exceptions in all fields, isn't it..
Your title is the proof of it...you go with the majority...right...

sriniketan

Dear sridhar Sir,

that was a very humorous tribute to the MMs ...we women love to bargain and the thrill in saving that few dollars is like a job well done for us...loved chithra mams fb..i must admit the MMs are a true blend of tradition and the modern..their contribution to this site is a proof of that....
of course your grandfathers bargaining was THE BEST...the same thing happenned to my aunt when she came to bombay as a new bride and did not know hindi...but we tease her saying not knowing the language yet u had to haggle with the price?....

Mindi

Dear Sridhar,

I too can be included as EX MM! Having lived in Mylapore before i shifted here, how can i forget all the jaggling i have also done and then becoming good friends with the same. It was all for the fun of it knowing fully well sometimes these people would hike their prices when they see us! How i miss all that fun here! No question of bargaining and haggling.....all fixed prices only! I wonder if the MNCs haggle for the Fun of it! No way, it is always profits for them.........and tension!

anyway great comparison.....liked some of your examples too!

Dear Chithra,
Thanks for the second helping of your fb. And like the second helping of the Walnut Halwa you prepared for us when we visited you, it is as interesting. I think the advent of malls has to a great extent damaged our culture.In a typical shopping mall the human interaction is minimal. And you are just one of the few thousands of customers. You are not even counted as a full human being. The marketing expert who at times stands there in the entrance to measure the traffic classifies you as merely a "footfall". The other day I read in the financial press that a particular brand would not stock its goods in malls where the footfalls are less than 10000.
For them, Chithra, we are just a variable in their profit calculations. Whereas for the vendor who has spread his ware near the mylapore tank we are the kings and the queens.
There are hundreds of stress-busters available today. But this is the best. For a lady who has hard day at her office and who could not bear the stress, my advice is simple. Go to the old styled vegetable market and shop for vegetables after haggling to your heart's content. Depressed ladies also find shopping and haggling rejuvenating.

Actually this thread is about MM as a person and not Mylapore as an area. For that I'd have to start a dozen threads. You have all the temples. You can buy all your Puja articles in one go - be it a small pack of erukkampul on the street side or a silver lamp at Sukra.

Though Triplicane, Mambalam, KK Nagar, Anna Nagar.... may all boast of their own mamis, we the "mylapore Mamis" are outstanding with our very name.

What can I say? I don't want to start one more controversy in IL. Mylapore Mamis vs Other Madras Mamis. But then there is another problem. The Mamis from others places would pounce upon me. And there is one Madurai Mami hardly a few feet away ready to pounce on me any time, if I left out Madurai Mamis. So let me play safely on this.
It's like this, Chithra. We, Iyengars, prepare hundreds of dishes; but are still known for our Puliyodharai. Similarly....(I don't have the courage to complete the sentence.)
Thanks for the multiple fb, which I enjoyed to the hilt.
love,

Originally Posted by Chitvish

Dear Sridhar,
Whe it comes to Mylapore mami, being typically one myself, why not a share a few more thoughts?
Even more than 50 yrs back, the following song became popular:

Mylapore vakil aathu mattu poNNaven!
மைலாப்பூர் வக்கீலாத்து மாட்டுப்பொண்ணாவேன்!

I become nostalgic when I remember the good old Mylapore, where I entered as a young newly married bride, decades ago, – now, the same place has changed into a blend of tradition and modern! Dear old Mylapore is a land of eternal mysticism, of infinite smells and the typical old fashioned food flavour. Mylapore, one of Chennai's oldest pockets, a quintessential representation of the spirit of Chennai is a mix of tradition and modernity.
I would anyday prefer to be called Mylapore Mami & not Madras Mami.
You must visit Mylapore once in the monthof Adi, around any festival time, say, Varalakshmi Nombu or Vinayaka chathurthi or Gokulashtami.
You can write about haggling to your heart's content. But the charming combination of culture and tradition, modern trend not to be forgotten, (you can buy Ganesha with a mobile phone or operating a computer mouse) makes one than God for living in Mylapore.
One of my old friends who has shifted to ECR says, before festivals, she comes all the way to Mylapore, to shop around, mainly fot the "flavour" of it.
Though Triplicane, Mambalam, KK Nagar, Anna Nagar.... may all boast of their own mamis, we the "mylapore Mamis" are outstanding with our very name.
You wrote
Chithra, please forgive me.
My reply is
Sridhar, I thank you profusely!
Love,
Chithra.

Dear Malathi,

thanks. People who are so full of love are bad at bargaining. It was interesting to read about the auto-driver taking you for a ride, literally and figuratively.

Malathi, there is one basic lesson we should learn. Never ever ask an auto driver to switch on the meter. You would have wanted to go from Mylapore to Adyar. But before the auto would have touched the RK Mutt Road, the meter would have reached adyar. And when the auto reaches the destination the meter will be in Velachery.

Once I traveled from Reserve Bank to Adyar. It was 10 years ago and at that time I had absent mindedly asked him to switch on the meter. While my up trip had costed me only Rs. 45 the meter now showed Rs.70. I found out that the meter was a heated one.(soodu vacha meter) I got down from the auto and told the driver calmly.

"I am from Madurai and my train is only in the night. When I went from here to RBI I paid only Rs. 45. I know your meter is wrong. I have all day to fight with you. If you want we can both go to the police. I will have your meter tested by the RTO and then we can settle the issue. Now your meter shows Rs.70. Tell me how much should I pay you."

I said it in a very friendly voice with a benign smile. Nevertheless he got the message loud and clear.
"OK sir, pay me Rs. 50. Rs.45 is the fare. But let me have a cup of coffee in your honour."
I gave him 50 Rs. patted him on his shoulder for his intelligence and left the scene.
That was the last time I travelled in an auto with its mete on.

I bargain with the railway porters too. But when I see them carry the heavy baggages to the train, I give them whatever they had asked for in the first place.
Thanks for the fb, Malathi.
regards,

Originally Posted by Malathijagan

Your arguments/interactions with the fruit vendor and the auto driver brought out peels of laughter! It brought back memories of R.K. Narayan's story -"Swaminathan"!(I am not able to recollect the exact title though the story is something in the lines- Swaminathan being the main character is a small boy whose father is not happy with his mathematics and the poor boy's trying times and his failure to understand his father's bargaining with a mango seller, where he defies mathematics! That was also a humorous one!)
Bargaining is a special skill. I am very poor at that! In fact I am like your grand pa! At least he had an excuse! He was hard of hearing. I simply get into their net by opening my big mouth and they pour out (or should I say spin yarns) sorrowful tales about their life and I end up paying more than they had actually asked! Once I took an auto rikshaw from Kellys to Shenoy Nagar. The fellow demanded Rs.70/- (Outrageous!) and I said it must be just a kilometer or 2 from my place and so I would pay Rs.40/- even though 30/- would be fair. The man trapped me with my first statement that Shenoy Nagar would be 4 kilometres! I said- Okay, switch on the metre and if the distance shows 4 kms, I would pay, what he had asked for! That man, by hook or crook made it happen! And I was 30 Rupees poorer. Had I kept my mouth shut, either he would have refused to ply me in which case I could have taken another auto or he would have agreed to my qoute, even though grumpy faced! now I never open my mouth even to bargain! If I feel the price is high or unreasonable, I just walk past!
Regards,
Malathi