Varalotti's Entry For the Valentine Month's Contest - 2007

VARALOTTI’S ENTRY FOR THE VALENTINE MONTH CONTEST (BONANZA)

The wonderfully worded contest announcement set me thinking on the gifts I gave and received. My accountant-brain made a fast calculation which showed that I have been a receiver more often than a giver.

My account stands in debit with respect to so many persons (Remember the cardinal rule of Accountancy: Debit the receiver and credit the giver) and to such a large value, that had all those gifts been financial transactions, a competent court would have declared me bankrupt long back.

I did not want to choose from the very few gifts I gave but rather take a plunge into the ocean of gifts I received, to come out with the most precious pearl.



The contest was not just a bonanza but a double bonanza for me, because I came out from the depths of the ocean not with one but two precious pearls.

The gifts I have received vary from a hello by a long forgotten friend, an email from an old acquaintance, to the small money plant gifted by my daughter on our wedding anniversary.



Flowers, cards, dresses, perfumes, money, nice words, courteous listening – I have received in abundance. But over time flowers wither, cards fade, dresses get worn out, money spent, words and courteous listening replaced by similar gifts.

But the two gifts, which I am going to describe here, have stayed with me ever since they were given. Strange enough, when both these gifts were given, I did not know their real worth and worse still, I did not even relish them.

Both gifts were handed over to me on a golden platter in times of crisis and did not appear at that time a solution for the problem at hand. And another coincidence is that in both the cases the donor is the same person, my dear father.

I was in my Seventh grade. Our school was planning an excursion to an exotic location. One had to pay just Rs.40/- to be a part of the fun-filled, thrilling trip to somewhere in north Tamilnadu.



I was the first to give my name and ran home breathlessly awaiting my father’s return from his office. I blurted out the details and demanded Rs.40/-. My father said a clear NO. He declared on my face, “We cannot afford that luxury.”

I managed not to break into sobs in his presence. I cried all night. Next morning my father told me,” You do not believe me, right? I will give my salary cover to you. You manage the family expenses for a whole month and if you can save Rs.40, it’s yours.”

Fair enough, I thought. After all there was more than a month’s time to pay the money.

My father true to his word gave his salary and our family accounts book to me, my holy initiation into the accounting profession. I sat with my Mom and Dad to prepare the budget for the month. Eager to save the money I cut down on a lot of essential expenses.

I thought I would be saving more than Rs 100 (My father’s salary at that time was a little over Rs. 700). But as the month progressed expenses started coming from unknown quarters and unexpected angles.

My brother fell ill – unbudgeted medical expenses. Two of our close relatives stayed for a week – unbudgeted food expenses and the cost of parting gifts to them. In the end I could barely save Rs. 10/-.

Without telling my father I told my teacher to take my name off the list. First I thought that my father had tricked me. So I asked him to let me manage the show for the next few months. The results were the same.

That was my first reality show with family finances. The gift was hands-on training in financial discipline which stood me in good stead many years later when I had to face tough times in my profession. More importantly it gave me a balanced head to manage affluent times. And it gave me the innate financial sense with which I could manage the finances of companies turning over in millions.

With my 23 years of standing in the Accounting profession, I cannot value this precious gift. Can you?

The second gift was even more valuable and even more touching. My old man, who ruthlessly demonstrated to me that he could not afford Rs. 40, proved to me he could afford a million times that amount, exactly seven years later. To make you appreciate the value of the second gift, I need to dwell on our family finances a little more.

My father was working for a private company as an Assistant Accountant at that time. Apart from my parents and us, four children, my father’s sister and her husband were living with us. My uncle was a lawyer and was making some decent money. We all lived as one family. I was adopted by my uncle later. But all of us still continued to live together. My adoptive mother, my aunt, died quite young.

Education those days was quite affordable. For example my semester fees for B.Com was only Rs. 78. I nursed an ambition to become a lawyer taking over my adoptive father’s flourishing practice. (Incidentally my pen name is a part of my adoptive father’s name: Varalotti Srinivasa Rengaswamy Iyengar)

But disaster stuck when I was in II B.Com. My adoptive father who was in his 70s died after some serious ailment.

A year before his death his professional income had declined. My father had to borrow money, sell my mother’s jewels to meet the medical expenses.

When my adoptive father died our coffers were bone dry. My father struggled to meet both ends meet. Food was not a problem; but everything else was. I poured all my energies into my studies and in the next year finished my graduation securing the University’s First Rank.

It was 1978. One of my brothers had just entered college; another brother and my sister were in school. My Dad’s salary could not keep pace with the spiraling prices. I was dying to help my family. Luck knocked at our doors.

A public sector bank had offered Officer’s posts to 3 candidates in the State who had got the University’s First Ranks. At that time Tamilnadu had only three universities. I ran to my father with the bank’s offer letter.

I thought he would hug me and congratulate me. But he was expressionless for a while. The words he uttered at that time – that was the most precious gift I have ever received in my whole life.

“Sridhar, I am an ordinary B.Com and so my life was a struggle all along. I do not want you to be like me. If you take this offer now, you will be only a B.Com. throughout your life. I hear that there is a course called CA and bright students can easily clear that. I want you to do that course.”

“But, Dad, that will take another three, four years. How are we going to manage?”

“You know that we have a house in the suburbs. We’ll sell that house, deposit the money and can manage with the interest.”

“But Dad, I will be clearing Rs.2000 a month as a Bank Officer. (A princely sum those days; my father was making only Rs. 1500 at that time). Why should we lose that?”

“Sridhar, do what I say. You are studying CA. Period.”

For a while I was furious. I could never understand the foolishness of throwing away the Officers Post with a princely salary. But I obeyed my father and enrolled for CA. The rest is history.

I have never received a more precious gift in my life. Doing the CA course defined my personality, changed my attitude to life and above all made me a professional. To cap it all, this gift made me fit enough to receive other valuable gifts thrown in my way by God, writing for example.

And the beauty is that this gift still continues to increase in value and I am sure that I will carry this gift even beyond my grave.

After winning the prize in the very first contest announced in this site, (circa July 2005) I vowed not to compete any more. But I broke my vow to repay at least one-billionth of what I owe to my old man.

With that kind of a gift any other man in my place would have reached farther heights and would have brought greater glories to the donor. I being I could do only this much. I have no complaints, however.

yes sridhar,
life teaches us many things as we walk along and sometime we are not even rewarded for what we contribute, my to your dad for taking a decision even under such circumstances to give you a brighter future, and am happy you are what you are, but what ever may be ur stand the base is one thing none forget...all the best great man, nice write up..and yes we all share the happiness of your two genuine gift of life..sunkan

An incredible tribute to your Dear Father . Yes you have been bestowed with the two most essential gifts in life.
At that tender age to make a child understand the tribulations and the limitations is very difficult but giving you the opportunity to run the house finance at that time shows the grit in him. He knew that you would understand . And he was so right.Infact I feel very sad that the Fathers input in rearing a child is always given a back seat . While reading your story or should i say tribute, I feel your Dear Father was the real reason for where you are today,
I am very glad you obeyed your Dear Fathers order and made it to the CA. Yes his vision was right. He saw and you conquered what he wanted you to. That is truly very laudable not just interms of your Dear Fathers wishes but also in terms of you as his son .Because finding a obedient son must be provided a lot of solace.
What we acquire in inheritance from parents is not merely wealth but wisdom and this is a inheritance which can be passed on to generations and one can never run out of it. I am glad your Father passes it to you as you would to your lovely kids and from there on..
I am very thankful that you thought of bringing this post out once again since I did miss it earlier since I wasn't a member and am glad I got to read it here.

Lovely post , very touchy and remembered the times I shared with my Father.

Regards,
Devika

dear varalotty sir,

no doubt very precious gifts.

Same thing happened to my brother also.Ours was perfect middle class family and my father was the only bread winner and he could manage only our studies and food was not a problem.we got new dresses only for deepavali.being a girl and kadaikutti,i would get dress for my birthday too.
MY brother is a very quite person and he never asked anything for himself.
But my father gave him a very good education in well known cbse school.
Before finishing his b.sc maths, he got selected for a public sector bank.

My father said"i have 5 years for retirement,so i give you 5 years time, study whatever you want and prove yourself.

He selected CA and ICWA and worked hard and completed both in 3 years and is now in Top management in a leading multinational.

He gives all comforts of life to my parents and they are very very happy.

i always feel, our parents are the great gifts given to us by God.

While reading your post , i could not control my tears.to your father.
Now a days we feel, our daughters or sons should get everything in life as we didnot get anything when we wanted it.So we buy them whatever they ask.we fail to make them understand the real life.
so i am afraid,if the new generation will lead a quality life.Is the blame in our part?

There is a common saying,if we work hard in first part of life our second part would be colourful.

Dear Sridhar,

to your dear father and to him for taking a very tought stand in harder times. I really appreciate the sacrifice your family had to make for making what you are and I can relate very well. These major gifts in life cannot be forgotten and should not be forgotten also.

I really appreciate your noble thought in putting this as a homage to your DF.

PS: Dear Sridhar, I just could not understant the title, valentine.......2007. Can u clarify?

Dear Varalotti Sir,

Wonderful tribute to your dad. His strong character and principles has paved your way. Such is the guidance kids would need. I appreciate you to have been an obedient person to pursue studies after BCom and come up with flying colours. I'm sure he must have been very proud of your success. Such pillars are required in a family.
I remember when I had just finished my Pre-university and was about to join BSc, I was adamant that I would study Chemistry and do Phd and what not! I had absolutely no idea why I wanted to do that, but it was my uncle (dad's elder brother) and dad who forced me into studying BSc Computer science. And I definitely know the difference now and am ever grateful to them for putting sense into my brains then.
I really felt very nice reading your affectionate post.

Warm regards,
Hema

Dear sir,

wonderful tribute to your father. It is generally true that as children we do not recognize the worth of the gifts that parents give us which later on shape our lives.

Devika,

I loved your lines.

What we acquire in inheritance from parents is not merely wealth but wisdom and this is a inheritance which can be passed on to generations and one can never run out of it.

Originally Posted by sunkan

yes sridhar,
life teaches us many things as we walk along and sometime we are not even rewarded for what we contribute, my to your dad for taking a decision even under such circumstances to give you a brighter future, and am happy you are what you are, but what ever may be ur stand the base is one thing none forget...all the best great man, nice write up..and yes we all share the happiness of your two genuine gift of life..sunkan

Thanks Sundari. You are right. Many a time, we are not even rewarded for what we do. But is there a need for a reward?
At another level doing a good deed is a reward in itself, in as much doing a bad one is a punishment in itself.
Thanks for the kind wishes, Sundari. And thanks for partaking in the happiness of the gifts I received.
love,

Dear Devika,

thanks. There was a movie "Namma Kuzhanthaigal" that came some thirty, thirty five years ago. In that movie to make the eldest son understand the family finances, the father would do the same thing. Now I don't know whether my father saw that moive and entrusted the family budget to me,. Or my father did it on his own which later somehow got into the movies.

The mother may shower all her love on the child. But without the the help of the father (or in some cases a substitute father figure) the child never grows up into a full man. Absence of mother's presence will be far worse.

My father also inculcated the sense of financial discipline in all his children. Not that we do not exchange gifts or take one another to a treat, but other than that all monetary transactions are accounted and paid. Even to this day Father insists that he would pay for his medicines, doctors fees and every thing.

What we acquire in inheritance from parents is not merely wealth but wisdom and this is a inheritance which can be passed on to generations and one can never run out of it. I am glad your Father passes it to you as you would to your lovely kids and from there on..

You are right, Devika. For instance Narayanamurthy of Infosys, only inherited his father's poverty and his middle class values.He proved to the world that those things when valued rightly under the right conditions might be worth some ten thousand crores. His life is a powerful example.

I am very thankful that you thought of bringing this post out once again since I did miss it earlier since I wasn't a member and am glad I got to read it here.

You are most welcome. This was in 2007. IL announced that this entry got the prize. And only then did I print the entry and showed it to my father. He just said, "good" and never talked about it. I knew. He is an emotional person and would not like to risk tears on this account.

Lovely post , very touchy and remembered the times I shared with my Father.

thanks. I am happy that this brought in loving memories of your dear, departed, Dad.

love,