my love and hers

Dear Sridhar,
you are becoming a poet too now, good good. I liked this poem very much too, the earlier one also was good though I did not post my thoughts there. You now by now that I am not very good at analysing anything, good or bad. I just tell you if it is good or not, that is all.
Please do not think that I am arrogant or anything of the sort- but I genuienly feel that my husband should feel this way about me- I have been everything to him inspite of his insensitiveness.
I strongly disagree with Cheeniya sir, majority of the men do not realise or agree that their wives are second mothers to them (even though they are more than mothers too).I cannot tell you in detail why I feel this way, even if I tell you the mildest of the mildest incidents, you will be shocked.
And the husband realising his mistake in the twilight of the wife's life, what use it could be of? However the husband may feel sorry and try to set things right, the damage would be done and the wife will be emotionally detached from the husband. It is the selfishness of the husband to show love to wife in fag end of his life- there wont be anybody else to show any feeling except the poor wife (the children would have gone off and would not want to be aywhere near him). Even then, the wife could not lead a life of her own, he would be showing his LOVE and disturbing her.
Wife is an object that is dependent on the husband and is nearly a slave with no mind of its own- this is what many men think of their wives who are very adjustable, able and what not. At least the next generation should learn to respect their wives. I am doing my part here by brining up my son in a balanced manner.

Dear Varalotti,

That was a real nice poem... Great one with lot of meanings... Really enjoyed it and the FB's...

Though I tend to agree with Sri that most of the men realise the value of the wife and appreciate them for what they are... There a quiet a lot of them like what Malathi/Varloo described.... So..

Veda

Dear Varalotti
Thanks for sharing your experinces..........
The accident sounds llike you lost your memories and got it back after sometime..............hahaha
sorry just kidding...........Atleast came to know how are you slowly shifting to poems now a days...
Yes I too liked Cheeniya's poem........Living with my Heart............It is indeed a beautiful poem and he too writes very well I almost read all his post really interesting but I don't know I cannot put in my fb there in his post no idea why I don't feel comfortable..........Hope he will not read this
But a good writter.
And the factors to make an accountant write a poem was great........
your long reply was not boring but was sitting and laughing.........sorry for this
You might be wondering what type of a lady this is I had an accident which I missed my death and this women is laughing............Dear Varalotti nothing is going to happen to you all our prayers are with you. God will never take away such a wonderful writter from us so fast. The proof is already in front of you God saved you and you gave us such wonderful poem........

My dearest Sridhar ,
As I wished earlier , I was the first one to read your poem this time ( at least ! ) ! Thanks for having given me that honor ! But I cannot forgive you for one thing : You were silently enjoying my happy expressions ( along with whistles ) while I was reading your poem aloud – of course until I reached the last few lines ! The moment I realized what the real substance was , I felt little ashamed of myself ( asadu vazhinjen!) but I really felt very proud of my wise DH !

”I love her for what she has and what she can
She loves me in spite of what I do and who I am “

--These lines speak of the state of human mind & the peak of supreme love !
The theme , the expressions , the rhythm of words ….. simply superb !

“This is an awesome poem. This is the quintessence of laying the soul bare.”

These words of our Pithaamagar ( of our site ! ) are like ‘ vasishtar vaayaal brahmarishippattam ‘ for you ! Its nice seeing you both ( 2 great writers ) appreciating each other in the open forum whole heartedly ! That’s the height of humility !

“ Love is the only possession that one is never drained of , the more you give the more you have in you to give. Its a beautiful feeling.”

This expression of Devika menon in her fb to you impressed me very much ! Lovely one !

' Stony silence ' is a nice poetic expression , Chithra used in her meaningful poem ! I too loved it as you did !

As you ‘ve requested , I ‘ll definitely tell Her ( The Jeganmaatha) that you too love her as she does & ask Her to shower her blessings on you incessantly & immensely ! You are blessed , appreciated , loved & admired by all the loving hearts of our IL – including me – for the dedication shown in all ur writings, Sridhar ! Keep rocking !
Lots of love ,
Indhu.

Dear Sridhar,

The advantage of coming in late is one gets the added bonus of feedbacks! It is like not only do I get to enjoy the yummy ice cream, but also get to eat the cream on top and the crowning cherry:)

The disadvantage though is somewhat tough...'cause after all those wonderful words which have already been said in praise of your poem and after the many reflections to it, what more and how can a simple me add to the glory of it all?! I will not even dare to attempt !

All I can say is that it was a privilege to read your poetry which is a celebration of love and woman...which you ultimately equate to Goddess.

Knowing your pen by now, I guessed where you were going in the fourth stanza! I could visualize the disappointment in Indhu's pretty face. But I guess she is above all this, after all, she is the woman who shares that love with you:)

These lines below are as though you have looked into my mind and written. That is a comforting thought to know that others too feel the same way as me. Nice not to be alone!

"But her love is that of the sun
Always there for me
But half the time I don’t see."

"Whenever I talk to her
It’s about the list I have
A list of wants and wishes Give them all, I plead with her
Give them now, I demand of her
She gives a few, delays some"


Nice to know that the poet in you is now standing up Varalotti. SHE has really been kind to you indeed. And may you flourish further with poetry.

L, Kamla

It was quite interesting to see the discussion between Malathi and Cheeniya, when the poem is intrepreted to mean that She refers to one's wife.

If I was grieved no end by Malathi's post about men who take their wives for granted, I was mollified by Cheeniya's soothing reply. These two views were running in mind the whole of yesterday, when I was busy with the final audit of a bank-branch outside Madurai.

I should admit that both the views have some truth in them. It is true that in a majority of the cases women are taken for a ride by men. But these cases mostly belong to an earlier generation. In those days women did not have financial independence. Worse than that, living away from one's husband was the worst stigma a woman could have. She would be branded a "vazha vetti" and would be banned from all the family celebrations. Given those circumstances the man-woman relationship especially in India was not on an equal footing. Whatever Malathi has charged, happened in most of the houses.

But these days the situation is quite different. Women are independent. To live away from one's husband is no longer a stigma. In fact the wheel has gone a full circle.

There was a complex problem in a family known to me. A family elder told us casually that we should consult a lady named X, a friend of the family. When someone asked why this lady, the elder told us, 'X is separated from her husband. She is a single parent. She has brought up her children very well. Given the kind of difficulties she would have faced in her life, her matured advice in this problem will be very valuable.

Nowadays men know the worth of women. The youngsters of these days treat their wives in a far better fashion than we did some decades back. Now that women have attained an almost equal status, in some quarters, I find women's wickedness rearing its ugly head.

An ILite's brother's wife tortured him so much and ultimately ran away and sought for a divorce. As we approach towards perfect equality of men and women these qualities can no longer be generalised on the basis of sex. It will depend only on the concerned individuals.

Originally Posted by cheeniya

Dear Malathi
What you say may be true in a small number of cases. I strongly believe that most men appreciate and admire the role played by their women in their lives. Men know that they are mere matter without the energy of their consorts. Matter will remain just a piece of dead wood without energy and Sakthi will remain unseen and unfelt without the matter that it activates. Both need each other.
Sayings like 'Behind every successful man, there is a woman' have not been said in a sycophantic way. It relflects the true feelings of most men. Please believe me!
Sri

Originally Posted by Malathijagan

Dear Cheeniya sir,
Sure, Sridhar's poem is a great tribute to women. But I wonder how many men realise this at the right time? Just because women's hearts melt easily and they are ever ready to forgive and forget and because they can be pacified even at the fag end of their lives, they are always taken for granted. As Sridhar has rightly said-
Others love me when I’m good
Others adore me when I excel
But she’s the only one who loves me
When I’m evil, and in a mood to kill
This is true with most wives even today. And because of this unconditional love women are punished, treated as curry leaves and door-mats, being used for their needs alone.
Regards,
Malathi

hello sridhar


a second time.....

kothu kothaai pookkal
enthi
nirpavarudan
kai kulukki
thulli kuthithu
otrai poo enthi
athuvum
maraithu
(onre onru enbathaal)
varisaiyil ninreyvittom enbathal
povatha vendama enru ninaithu..
thayakkam kolla
malarntha poong kothukkal
aduthathaduthu vaazthusolla
kanamal ponatho
otrai poo?

sathya

அன்பு மிகுந்த கவிதாயினி ச்த்யா,

கதையும், கட்டுரையும் யோசித்து, திட்டமிட்டு எழுதுகிறேன்.
ஆனால் கவிதை தானாக ஏற்படுகிறது.
அடுத்த கவிதை இன்றும் வரலாம்.
இல்லை ஒரு வருடம் வராமலும் இருக்கலாம்.
அது அவள் கொடுப்பது.

இறைவனை,
'ஆணல்லன் பெண்ணல்லன் அல்லா அலியும் அல்லன்' என்று ந்ம்மாழ்வார்
சொன்னாலும்,
எனக்கென்னவோ இறைவன் தாயாகத், தோழியாகவே தோன்றுகிறான்.
அவன் நினைந்து பாலூட்டும் தாய்.
தாயினும் சாலப் பரிந்து அருள் சொறியும் பேரருளாளன்.
துன்பத்தில் படுக்க மடியும், அழத் தோளும் தரக் காத்திருக்கும் தோழி.

varthai sathuryathilum
AVAL thaan thunai enru
ninaitheero?

அப்படி நினைக்கவில்லை. என் வார்த்தைகள் அவள் போட்ட பிச்சைச் சோறு தானே!

lovely words...

மனமார்ந்த நன்றி,

kothu kothaai pookkal
enthi
nirpavarudan
kai kulukki
thulli kuthithu
otrai poo enthi
athuvum
maraithu
(onre onru enbathaal)
varisaiyil ninreyvittom enbathal
povatha vendama enru ninaithu..
thayakkam kolla
malarntha poong kothukkal
aduthathaduthu vaazthusolla
kanamal ponatho
otrai poo?

செய்த தவறுக்கு கரம் கூப்பி மன்னிப்புக் கேட்டுக் கொள்கிறேன்.
மலர்க் கூட்டத்திற்கு மத்தியில் கம்பீரமாக
வீற்றிருந்த அந்த ஒற்றை
ரோஜாவைக் காண மறந்த
இந்தக் குருடனை
மன்னித்தேன் என்று ஒரு
வார்த்தை
சொல்லக்கூடாதா?

Hi,
I liked this poem very much, If i think which line most impressed me , i've to quote whole poem. Nicely described your feelings. One request from me to you Please tell her that I love her too
Thanks for sharing it.

Dear Sridhar,

Good one......but a bit disappointing , in the 4th stanza. Thru the poem u lead us to believe it is ur better half ......and in the end it changes to HER (GODDESS).......a bit confusing, i guess thats why all the fbs with the women talking abt the evils meted to them by men etc!
But good outpouring ...and if we go thru the poem again with what you have brought out in the last para, then it sounds better.
Enjoyed all the fbs , like Kamla has pointed out, we get cream and cherry and topping ...everything! Also everyone has said it all......all i can say is keep it on!