Returning to India sounds like a great adventure. But how hard will it be? It’s one thing if the person was someone who was born and brought up in India. They lived in India for up until their adult years, went abroad for studies or work, found an Indian partner in life and got married, had kids and bought a house. Now after about 10 or 15 years, they’ve realized that they need to reacquaint themselves to their old roots so they go job hunting and eventually plan to move back to India. All that is great. But what’s it like for people like me who were born and brought up outside India? New York is my home state…but India is my home land. Every summer vacation from the age of 2, I was schlepped to Cochin so that my summers would be filled with family and friends, sun and beaches, mangoes and coconuts and plush greenery. I speak the language as well as read and write in it. For heaven’s sake, I even teach the language to kids here. I cook and eat (pretty well, I should say) the food. While I only have distant cousins back there, my husband still has his parents. That seems to be one of the pulls that yanks us back. We also have our own house so a place to stay is not a worry. Jobs – sure, we need to find them. But not so much a worry. What is a worry is fitting in. Conversing in the land is not hard…but what about all those little intricate details – body language, gestures. A simple smile to the wrong person can land a person in a heap of trouble. People in India, for the most part, have a different perception of women from the US. Just because I shake your hand, smile and talk to you for more than five minutes does not mean I have a secret crush on you. Trust me, it happened once and I learned…boy did I learn! What about my daughters….a teen and preteen. How will they cope in school? Making new friends comes easy for them here, but will it be just as easy in Cochin? How will a teenager (and we all know the mood swings of an average teenage girl) be able to cope with the change? The things they have in common with friends here may not be what the kids in Cochin are used to. Do even know who Taylor Lautner is? Do they listen to Lady Gaga or Taylor Swift? Do they wear Abercrombie or Holister? Will they lash out or withdraw? Will I lash out or withdraw? Kids here are so naïve. I would know – I am one! The cut-throat ways of India will be a shocker for all three of us. Once we move, it will be sink or swim state of affairs and we better start swimming if we want to see tomorrow. In my heart, I feel this is a right move…but how can I be sure? I want my children to know their family. I want them to learn compassion…to learn to live without all the bells and whistles of the western hemisphere. I want them to learn – to be pushed to learn more and compete. I want them to have a life where they can nurture their talents. I want them to grow up as global citizens who are more aware of the world around them. Over here, if you ask a kid where Egypt is, they will probably say the Middle East....all countries with camels belong in the Middle East, don't they? I want to go back but all these questions still arise. Finance, food, all that is materialistic is not a concern. What is a concern is the emotional and mental stability that I may (or may not) lose. But we only live once and I have to give this a shot, right? I owe it to my husband and children but mostly to myself. We all have an urge inside of us to connect with our roots. Even after our parents pass away, even after years of seperation we still long to know who we are. I for one am not that different. No matter how long we live outside of India, we will still be considered Indian. And I wouldn’t want it any other way! Our target is June, 2011....let's see if we can hit that bullseye.<!--?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-comfficeffice" /-->
Shanvy, Thank you for editing my thread but next time please let me know if you are not able to read it and allow me to fix it myself. Regards, Manaswini
Manaswini, It was just a helping gesture as a moderator nothing more. it was too small fine print to read. I actually typed in my reply and we had a power off... And next time, will inform you to do the needful..
It sure will be. Coming here for vacation is one thing. But living here is an entirely different thing. I realized how much America has changed me only when I landed back in India. Sometimes India is just lovely and sometimes the people can drive anyone crazy. People here cant help it as they have to struggle for even small things (like going to office on time or getting parking outside a grocery store). Will help to be mentally prepared.
Manaswini, R2I is a big challenge for NRI people who were brought up in India and want to return for good cause. I am one of them. I see lot of difference in lifestyle , comforts, medical facilities, school system, road network , traffic, especially peoples nature as you said cut-throat from here and there. I am suprised, you and your kids , although brought up here in US, you want to explore the option of settling down in India. It is great to hear it :thumbsup I wish you best of luck, If you can settle back in India, it should be easy for any NRI who was born and brought up in India. All the best, keep posting your experiences. It will be defenitely inspiritation for us to move back. Sujatha.
Thanks Sujatha....it was not an easy decision and still isn't. My DH and I keep rehashing all scenarios and "what-ifs". But the window of opportunity is limited and if don't give this a try now, we will never get such a chance later on.
Manaswini, Impressive that people who have been born and brought up abroad can even think of returning to India. Hopefully you have a great time there! Good luck!
Thanks Ramee. As mentioned before, going for a vacation and actually living there are two totally different things. But not something that cannot be done. I mean, people expat to other countries often, don't they? And many Europeans and Americans are living the expat life in India also. These are people who do not have anyone in India for support....no family, no friends, no sense of being "home". So, why is it that an Indian (1st or 2nd generation) can't do the same thing? We have families there. We have friends there. We even have a place to call HOME. So why is it that Indians think of going back as more of a torture scene than a feasible approach? What are we afraid of?
