Crisis Management - How to cope ?

Crisis management involves two aspects:
avoiding a crisis and
facing the crisis.
The crises created by factors within one’s control can be avoided, whereas, those created by factors beyond one’s control have to be faced.

Very often a crisis is first created by an individual on account of certain habits in terms of patterns of thinking and behaviour. Major crises can be avoided if we act upon a situation at the right time. The old saying “ a stitch in time saves nine” is eternally true.

Our two tendencies are postponement of the unpleasant and non recognition of the problem. By eliminating these, many crises can be avoided.

Our typical tendency is to tackle what is easy and pleasant and postpone what is difficult, painful and troublesome. Over the years, it becomes a trait. We often create crises by postponing. An intelligent man accepts this and does not evade something that is unpleasant. It is worth reversing this tendency, because you will find yourself changed! You will find that there is nothing unpleasant! There are only comfortable and difficult situations. We must become mature enough to accept the unpleasant and avoid crisis born of postponing.

We must recognise the problem and act. It is not right to disown a problem. The problem should be first accepted. Action presupposes a decision, a will, and the will can be only where there is recognition. Accepting a problem is very important.

Now let us see how to deal with crises arising out of external problems. We live in the society and so many situations may not be conducive to us. Unfavourable situations will have to be dealt with. Dealing with a crisis requires an inner strength and we should be able to do whatever is to be done. We must be alert and our values and capacities must be intact so that you can deal with situations.

We have three powers: to know, to will and to act. These are the powers at our command to act in different situations. But we must also remember that these powers are limited.

We must accept that success does not come as a rule because our powers are limited and very often, we have to take an effort with a calculated risk. We must accept our limitations and must be ready for failure also. By getting depressed, we often create more crisis. If we go to the root of the depression, we see that it is because of our refusal to accept our limitations. Accept the fact and keep acting. Life becomes a learning experience. Graceful acceptance is more a recognition and not surrender. Defeat comes only when we do not accept facts.

So, let us accept our limitations gracefully and thereby avoid the sense of failure. Then you become one who is together as a person endowed with the three powers at your disposal and you do what you can do. This makes you an effective person to face any crisis.

Love,
Chithra.

My dear Chithraji;

This is God send to me !! I am going through a very tough situation currently and and I hope to tide through it as I feel energised to pull on after reading your article.

Thank you very much!!

Regards

Seetha

Dear Chithra,

A very nice write up indeed on crisis-handling. You sure are going places and taking us with you:)

"To know, to will, to act"...sounds simple. But those who are going through a crisis will realize what a challange it will be to remember that constantly to win over a situation. But then, when one is faced with a turbulent situation, the mind will bring forth the necessary bolsters. And reading such write ups can only wake up the tired mind.

Have to mention. This topic is totally different to the ones you have usually brought to us. Cannot call it spiritual. Yet, it does help the spirit:)

Nice one. Thanks.

L, Kamla

Dear Chitramma

A very enlightening post indeed.

And what you have told about acceptance of basic facts is sometimes very difficult and that is why we feel depressed at our failures. We also feel pressurized by social stigmas and fear about others opinion that we fail to accept our limitations.
"We have three powers: to know, to will and to act. These are the powers at our command to act in different situations. But we must also remember that these powers are limited. "- These should be instilled in every child's mind since young.
Since I young I was/(my parents were) under pressure to excel in studies,being the first born and among other intelligent cousins. Although I did well(God Willing), almost all my school years were blanketed by the fear of loosing 2 marks/first rank etc. I always have envied the kids who could care less and be happy. So I make it a point not to repeat it to my kid.
My classmate's father (He was a professor) would come every month and compare my test/exam papers with his son's to see how I got 1 or 2 marks extra and got the first rank. I was really afraid of him and hated that school and suffered for 8 years from LKG to 6th. But the boy used to be my good friend and he always apologised for his father's behaviour.(Luckily, after 6th standard my parents put me in an all girl's school.) My parentys were too busy to intervene though my father personally met him once and asked him to stop but he didnot stop.Then we lost touch and I met the father during my housemanship in Govt Hospital when he came to visit a relative. I learnt from him that due to some personal problems his son failed in the 12th standard and after that did some degree . It was totally unbelievable and I felt very sad for the boy and his father too.

Whenever I think about ranks and marks I always think about the boy and his father's example. I controll myself from pressurizing my kid especially in school matters. I try to guide him to understand his ability.

Each and everyday atleast once, I tell him, 'It is okay to loose sometimes. You dont need to be a winner always. Start to dream smaller things first and try it. Then you can dream about bigger things. Dont be ashamed /afraid of failures. There is always a next time to try it again".

I believe that this will help him to better in crisis management later in his life with a positive attitude.

(Sorry, got carried away and wrote a loooong post in your thread)
Love and Regards
Vijee

Dear chitra,

Nice subject. most of the time we have only self made crisis due to the reasons you have already stated.
some of us know that, and also know that you have to accept facts, but do not want to accept it expecting miracles.
to know,to will and to act. there are situations when you know, you will and do not want to act......
I think this is a very needed topic of the hour. do elaborate on it more.

love,
shanthi.

My dear Seetha,
Thanks for joining us here and mentioning that you feel energised after reading this.
Seetha, the crises we go through in life are many, but as you mention some are very tough when we go through them. But also do not forget, only the tough gets going. Every day tell yourself " one more of intense unhappiness is over - the happy days are coming closer to me". As the saying goes "this too shall pass".
Do not lose heart at all - there is no escaping some situations in life. The only thing I suggest is, put you faith completely in God & pray for strength of mind.
You will defintely be in my prayers & those of other I L ites, who read this.
Tough times do not last
Only tough people last.
Prove to your tough times that you are more tough.
Love,
Chithra.

Originally Posted by Seetha3

My dear Chithraji;

This is God send to me !! I am going through a very tough situation currently and and I hope to tide through it as I feel energised to pull on after reading your article.

Thank you very much!!

Regards

Seetha

Dear Kamla,
Thanks for coming up with an early feed back.
The topic is not spiritual, but general, I agree. But let me tell you how this topic came about in my thoughts. Again from the Gita - you have to believe me.
I was reading the 1st chapter in detail - Arjuna goes through an emotionally turbulent situation, loses heart when he thinks that he has to fight against his own kith and kin.
Krishna advises him "to act". There are many situations where ultimately action and not inaction is the need of the hour. Ofcourse our own mind will provide us with a set of arguments seemingly convincing , but still lame excuses, in favour of inaction. At such times, we have to (choicelessly) re-make our inner pesonality whole and strong and with a new-found confidence meet the problem, ceratain of success, sure of victory ( or acceptance, very often!).
Krishna helps Arjuna, to rise from inaction & meet the challenge ahead of him.

I do not intend to write the summay of the Gita at all, knowing that I am incompetent to do justice. So I just thought, I can " elaborate" on such topics, which are " off shoots" !
Please share your thoughts with me on this.
Fom this, I have started writing Personnel Management ! Not from the corporate angle at all, no fears !! But puely from a housewife's point of view,having managed my family, in-laws, friends & last but not least " the service people" in my life !
I hope you will not plan to run away from this forum, my dear friend !
Love,
Chithra.

Originally Posted by Kamla

Dear Chithra,

A very nice write up indeed on crisis-handling. You sure are going places and taking us with you:)

"To know, to will, to act"...sounds simple. But those who are going through a crisis will realize what a challange it will be to remember that constantly to win over a situation. But then, when one is faced with a turbulent situation, the mind will bring forth the necessary bolsters. And reading such write ups can only wake up the tired mind.

Have to mention. This topic is totally different to the ones you have usually brought to us. Cannot call it spiritual. Yet, it does help the spirit:)

Nice one. Thanks.

L, Kamla

Dear Chithra

Thank you. Believe me when I read it I had a feeling that you wrote it only for me. Yes chitra what you say is cent percent true. A stictch in time save nine. I know very well what is postmonement of the crisis. Because most of the time that is what I do. Yes inability to face a crisis at the first level makes you postpone the thing but when you analyse at last you can clearly see that postponement had made that situation worser than anything. Sometimes I have a feeling that action is what I refuse to do.

Thanks once again chithra for a wonderful post from you again. You made my day with this thought provoking post.

regards
vidhi

Dear Vijee,
I enjoyed reading your long post.
My personal opinion is that the greatest gift we can give our children is to allow them or to teach them to take responsibility for themselves.
Whenever we take esponsibilty for other people, we must remember, we limit their growth.
We must take responsibilty for everything that has happened to us, that shaped us, whether we caused it or not.
When it comes to crisis management, we must remember that I may not be responsible for what happened to me, but I am responsible for how I feel about it and how I react toward it.
Only I am responsible for what I will become - we must never forget this.
Please stay tuned, Vijee.
Love,
Chithra.

Originally Posted by AbhiSing

Dear Chitramma

A very enlightening post indeed.

And what you have told about acceptance of basic facts is sometimes very difficult and that is why we feel depressed at our failures. We also feel pressurized by social stigmas and fear about others opinion that we fail to accept our limitations.
"We have three powers: to know, to will and to act. These are the powers at our command to act in different situations. But we must also remember that these powers are limited. "- These should be instilled in every child's mind since young.
Since I young I was/(my parents were) under pressure to excel in studies,being the first born and among other intelligent cousins. Although I did well(God Willing), almost all my school years were blanketed by the fear of loosing 2 marks/first rank etc. I always have envied the kids who could care less and be happy. So I make it a point not to repeat it to my kid.
My classmate's father (He was a professor) would come every month and compare my test/exam papers with his son's to see how I got 1 or 2 marks extra and got the first rank. I was really afraid of him and hated that school and suffered for 8 years from LKG to 6th. But the boy used to be my good friend and he always apologised for his father's behaviour.(Luckily, after 6th standard my parents put me in an all girl's school.) My parentys were too busy to intervene though my father personally met him once and asked him to stop but he didnot stop.Then we lost touch and I met the father during my housemanship in Govt Hospital when he came to visit a relative. I learnt from him that due to some personal problems his son failed in the 12th standard and after that did some degree . It was totally unbelievable and I felt very sad for the boy and his father too.

Whenever I think about ranks and marks I always think about the boy and his father's example. I controll myself from pressurizing my kid especially in school matters. I try to guide him to understand his ability.

Each and everyday atleast once, I tell him, 'It is okay to loose sometimes. You dont need to be a winner always. Start to dream smaller things first and try it. Then you can dream about bigger things. Dont be ashamed /afraid of failures. There is always a next time to try it again".

I believe that this will help him to better in crisis management later in his life with a positive attitude.

(Sorry, got carried away and wrote a loooong post in your thread)
Love and Regards
Vijee

Dear Shanthi,
Thankyou for your quick feed back.
Since you have asked me to elaborate more, I am adding just a few more thoughts.
When going though a crisis, we must let the positive forces in our life to take over. We have to (choicelessly, often) stop lamenting and not curse the bad situation we have got into. Instead of imagining negative things that fill us with terror, we have to invent positive things that fill us with purpose.
Stop complaining because first nobody wants to listen to it and also, it adds stress and pressure to an already problematic situation. Complaining makes us feel inadequate and not only that, damages our credibility also.
By complaining we are really protesting against our own powerlessness and helplessness.
Tell yourself

I take responsibility for myself.
I have the power to make things better.

Trust yourself and accept you are perfectly willing to be human. Be ready to risk, learn and grow in life.
Don't give up; give more.
Love,
Chithra.

Originally Posted by shanvy

Dear chitra,

Nice subject. most of the time we have only self made crisis due to the reasons you have already stated.
some of us know that, and also know that you have to accept facts, but do not want to accept it expecting miracles.
to know,to will and to act. there are situations when you know, you will and do not want to act......
I think this is a very needed topic of the hour. do elaborate on it more.

love,
shanthi.