Why can't you directly tell PIL's to mind their own business?

I have came across many posts in IL where DIL's life going through turmoil, still not telling her PIL's to mind their own business. Have you ever considered that?

If Yes, How did that go? If not, Is it due to lack of DH's support or simply scared of how the society will react?


Did you ever tell them that you can respect them ONLY if you get respect from them, tat it's a 2 way street ?

may be its the way we raised at homes saying you are not supposed to talk back to elders or may be the fear that will be filled in our minds before marriage on how to repect them and not to back answer them and how we should control anger and have patience etc...
But yes i once and only once gave it back
and reason my mil dint bother to come my home or call my mom after my dads demise and i patiently waited for 3 months and then when i was told by my dh that my mil was upset as i dint visit one weekend due to ill health..i was not abusive but yes i pin pointed all things that happend since marriage till date and why she was such bad mil before my fil and dh..and answer was nothing she was silent dint console me no answer nothing..and started showing her real colors since then and now i feel thats biggest mistake i did ..i was quite for 1 yr and all of a sudden i opened my mouth and became a monster to all their relatives and neighbours

Originally Posted by sillygurl

I have came across many posts in IL where DIL's life going through turmoil, still not telling her PIL's to mind their own business. Have you ever considered that?

If Yes, How did that go? If not, Is it due to lack of DH's support or simply scared of how the society will react?


Did you ever tell them that you can respect them ONLY if you get respect from them, tat it's a 2 way street ?

What you say is very true. We can and should tell our PILs directly if they do not respect us or interfere beyind limits. again,limits are dependent on each.so what might b ok to one might be inteference to another.

in my case,yes,i do question my DH directly if there is something. and i have not yet questioned inlaws on anything they have done that i felt was 'not appropriate'. i don't know if i dont have the guts or what it is

but,yes,we should try being assertive as much as possible irrespective of who the person we r interacting is(when they do not respect us)

Neha S

Well, i partly agree to lavii... it is mainly because of the values taught to us by our parents not to backanswer or be rude. at times its because of fear/insecurity of consequences. and at times it also because of lack of support from DH.

in my case - thankfully, i dont need to back answer as in-laws are quite tolerable :)

I spoke my heart out when my dh had argument with me n he asked me to leave house. And he called my dad to ask to take away from here. Then i told everything to my dad what all happened. My PIL went to my parents place to apologise for everything. After PIL came back to home i had long discussion saying that this is not the way a dh shd talk to my parents. Did I ever spoke to u (ILs) like this, even if u created so many problems to me. Now they understand that i am not going to take anymore.

As written in Bhagwat Gita, ppl wont understand ur pain, u have to take step for urself.Ppl will hit u till u take it. If u stand for urself, noone will dare to speak against u.