Forced to pierce the nose!!!Anybody else???

oh yes my MIL's request (read 'condition') was that my nose be pierced and a diamond nose ring be in place. when my mom hinted to my SIL that i wasn't favoring it i got a reply 'oh for me and my sister a grand function was held' (read 'what's all this fuss about'). anyways i gave in. i'm glad atleast they didn't insist me to wear ettukal besari (a slightly bigger nose ring that is) and worse MIL didn't force me to pierce both nostrils as she has done!!!!

Latha

Its sad to be left alone in such situation. If it happened to me i definitely would have spoken with husband about it before marriage.
For me yes i was forced but i didn't give up. Mine was love marriage and his parents agreed only because we didn't give up. We wanted it to be a simple family function without any fuss and my MIL said yes i'll only call close relatives which later turned out to be around 50. They did all the preparations (as she said) and used to call me every day for my stuff like sarees, jewellery, other things (as per her specifications) She even ordered me the types and colors of my sarees. I bought as per my choice only which she did not like. She even told me my mom has to get a saree for her and her daughter as its a tradition. Not to mention she gave the specifications like a blue (chintamani shade) kanjivaram saree with double borrder and pink pally for her daughter good one above ** thousand and a work saree for her. We did get them. Then 2 days before marriage she called my hubby to tell that she had bought a payal and bangles set for me as tradition. He said I don't wear it and that created such a big battle. She immediately called me and said give those two sarees back we won't take them and the marriage is cancelled. I said why did you ask him for something i was going to wear you should have told me. I was going to wear it just for the day as it looks nice for ocassion.
But when she told me to wear it continuous i refused and removed them with the nose ring, bangles and all other things after marriage. My hubby backed me so there wasn't any fight.
Vaidehi

yes it happened to me.My FIL was very interested and actually forced me to get my nose piereced.I discussed with my DH for this.He was also not so interested but then I did it since I wanted to get it closed after marriage and he had agreed.
another thing is that the huge gold nose ring was suposed to be provided by my in laws side so it inspired me to get it done

Hi friends
I had never heard of this custom. don't you think this is such a humiliating custom... why should anybody be forced to do things on their self just becoz so & so before has been done down the ages& nobody ever complained. I seriously think such customs which fringe on borderline of individual rights should be abolished.
Sorry if I've hurt anybody's sentiments.
K

Originally Posted by Renu1999

Yes I was forced to go for ear piercing day before my marriage. My friends suggested me to call inlaws and request them saying I dont like it. BUt they strictly said NO and you should have one before marriage. so I went for one. My face looked so different during marriage. Everyone made funny comments about that. I hated my IL's from that day onwards. I kept it for few months after marriage and when I came to US I removed it. when I went back after 1 year they forced me again . I had second nose piercing done during that time.
Now after 7 years of marriage. I removed it and I wont wear it I strictly said them now. they dont like that but I dont care....

You dont know how much I hated nose piercing stuff....

Dear,
I have gone through similar experience but not before marriage day after reception my nose is pierced in three places both nostril and septum and three more holes added in my ear as my grand Mil decorated me with her all traditional jewelery, To wear ear weight I have to streach my earlobe piecing which is currently more than a inch. my nostril holes are also very big. But they loved me my hubby likes them so I don't find any embarrassment. I am working executive. I sport big nosestuds in my office I hid my ear piercing with my hair. But In home I all time ware ear weights and other ornaments always even septum ring in my home. So what is so annoyment . all loves me I love them.

I was asked by my MIL to pierce my ear's side to wear side strud during engagement.I said NO since i dont like that fashion at all. Then the request was forwarded trough my DH.He was smart enough to say me that he likes to see girls with side rings.First i thought it was his interest and i had a thought for that too.Again the very next day he insisted me to do that.I questioned him and got the reply as HIS MOM wants this to be done.Now i clearly said i will NEVER do any more piercing in my ears.

NOTE: My MIL has 4 holes in each ear, SIL has 3 and co-sis has 2. everyone wear earrings in each of their holes

Shakambari,

we don't have any such tradition , though am interested in wearing one - waiting for DH's approval


I guess her nose might be already been pierced now, right ?.If she's not liking the traditional mukkuthi - the diamond one's , she can try this kind, I've seen people wearing them and goes very well with modern clothes.

I have never had to face this situation for me but I did dread it thinking what if in-laws ask me to pierce nose,since it is a tradition in our customs.That too on the right side of the face!!!
Luckily,no one mentioned it to me and I just got away. Even for the marriage function I did not wear the artificial one. i escaped somehow.

I do not know any one in my relatives/friends who had to do it.It was done in old times. Wen people of our parents generation were getting married.
I think in these days it is ridiculous to demand such things...

Some do it by personal choice, good for them!

Originally Posted by limkabook

Shakambari,

we don't have any such tradition , though am interested in wearing one - waiting for DH's approval


I guess her nose might be already been pierced now, right ?.If she's not liking the traditional mukkuthi - the diamond one's , she can try this kind, I've seen people wearing them and goes very well with modern clothes.

i liked the type in the image...thanks for sharing!! am sure many would have got an idea

Originally Posted by feduptocore

Hi friends
I had never heard of this custom. don't you think this is such a humiliating custom... why should anybody be forced to do things on their self just becoz so & so before has been done down the ages& nobody ever complained. I seriously think such customs which fringe on borderline of individual rights should be abolished.
Sorry if I've hurt anybody's sentiments.
K

Well said. It is indeed borderline human rights infringement. It is her body and others are deciding what should be done with it. There were some posts that berated working and modern girls for giving in to such pressures. Only the wearer knows where the shoe pinches. The enormous pressure on the girl from her parents, in-laws ("it is only a piercing", "it is a tradition") - imagine being in her position - the engagement possibly breaking if she puts her foot down... It is easy to advise.


I am sorry if this hurts someone's sensibilities - but in Africa there are tribes where female circumcision is still practiced - their justification is that it is a tradition, and that they only do it "a little bit" to remind the girl of her feminity, and gently.

Rihana