how do u feel if ur mil keeps praising abt ur sil infront of u

hi
ladies

i just want to know ur views on this topic.how do u feel when ur mil keeps praising ur sil like her cooking skills etcccccccccc

Hi ,

It one of many a mil's fav hobbies.
SIL really cooks well, fine - acknowledge it.

But if her lousy cooking is raised to gourmet level,

just turn a deaf ear and ignore it.

Dont try to argue -then u will be called a jealous monster!

Hi,
Agree wholeheartedly and join your MIL in singing praises. Some times MILs do this on purpose so that the two SILs dont gang up and become friendly!!

hey

thanks for ur replies

hi
My mil praises sil and even her town like anything
we lived in chennai and bgl before coming to US. when we were there for everyhting like starting from the keerai (spinach), vegetables, cocnut to non-veg items like fish, chicken everything she tells it is best in sil's town than in chennai and bgl
I will just smile and go
After coming here, she came here in dec 2008 she repeated the same, everything will be fresh there, here it is frozen, no taste
The veggies look fresh and big but no taste, there it will be very tasty
sometimes it irritates me, but I smile and move on.
If she feels that way, let her be happy abt it
who cares

Originally Posted by asheya

hi
ladies

i just want to know ur views on this topic.how do u feel when ur mil keeps praising ur sil like her cooking skills etcccccccccc

Get used to it and hear it .....and then ignoreeeeeeeeeee

let her have her heart out talking allll that she wants to talk....does it prove or make any difference????

ignore ignore ignore

or

in front of mil, start praising sil even more than mil does. that should shut her up in no time ... works foe me . and I keep reminding myself that I am better than sil in so many ways so that i should not insecured by mil.

My MIl does the same thing. And it annoys me all the time. Now I started ignoring her feels much better.
when we call her she voluntarily talk about her for 10 or 15 min to me I keep my mouth shut.

I see it as a sign of insecurity or trying to get attention. My MIL visits us every other year and stays 6months in US and 6months in India.
When she is here she always compares and tells me that SIL or co-sister have made this delicious chicken curry or they have great sense of dressing etc.

Only after 3years of marriage I realized how insecure all three women were. I had instances where MIL was telling lies just to make her daughter or elder co-sis look good.

Of course in that scenario I did'nt know it but like one two years later found out. For example: Once we were going to Hindu temple. We had Hanuman Chalisa on every Tuesday which we regularly attended, when MIL was here.
She told me that co-sis and SIL are more religious minded and always do attend such things.

6 months later co-sis visited us. She said she was not particularly going to temples in US and only because her sons love "Laddu prasadam", whenever they ask she is taking them. She said sometimes she felt guilty remembering god because of her sons.

1year later I went to India and same was clarified with SIL also. She is basically very lazy. She said I don't do much pooja or go to temples, I am not so interested in that.

So basically, in this I only found MIL was trying to tell me others are better than me.

Several "praises" like this happened in front of me, which where only later clarified and found to be FALSE.

Taking from cooking to temple going or to eating out or dressing up, taste for sarees, etc etc. My MIL always gave 100 points to both co-sis and SIL.

So now, after seeing this trend 3years in marriage, I no longer feel bad. I have come to conclusion that MILs never want to appreciate even if DIL is genuinely excelling in some things like cooking, dressing, hosting people, friendliness etc etc.

When I did'nt know the reality of the praises, still I took it with pinch of salt because I had other experiences where ppl lied to me. Like my co-sis did BA. But she told me she is MA.

Friends, we must not feel bad or hurt when ppl praise others in front of us. Only ppl who are not praise worthy really get public praises because in reality they are not up to mark in anything. MILs will only try to scare you or make you feel threatened by praising others.

You are what you are. If you are good you don't need others praises or approval. Just know what you are in your own heart, that is good enough.

Love, Best.

Hi
In a way am glad to see this post :) I thot I was the only one. My MIL talks about my SIL all the time. She passed her 12th by giving an attempt and I am a school first candidate, but still my MIL keeps telling me how intelligent she is...how she takes great care of her hair, feet, nails... how she makes delicious dishes.. blaw blaw blaw.

I put up with it for 1-2 years but I used to keep telling my husband.. please ask her to stop.He simply asked me to cope up with it. And then a briliant idea struck me, the next time she came.. I started praising non-stop one of my friends in-laws.. how they were so adjusting.. how they did all the work.. how the gave her 100's of gifts :)

Guess what, I swear... I dint know it would work, but it did. She does her praising on and off now, but not as irritating as always.