problem with sis in law....

Hi Rohini

The issue wat ur facing is very common in indian society.

First and foremost thing wat u need to follow is

Please dont be so close to ur husband, when ur sister in law is there @ home.
Dont ever treat her as a Sister in law, start treating her as a Friend
In ur office wat ever u come across, share with her
Get suggestion from her as wat is in the trend now
Ask her to update latest fashion designing (ofcourse u know better then her :) even the pls give importance to her )
If time persists go out with her to the near by temple or some shopping centres


If u do all these thing u will see lot of changes in her

Try this and update us in IL!!!

Lets hope for the best

Cheers
Vasu

P.S ( In all the families, they will treat their girl child as princess, if the importance going to the others no one can tolerate including u. If u ahve elder brother @ home , you can understand her feelings. Being a person who is senior to her , u need to adjust a lot. )

Hi Roshini,

I read your problem with SIS & MIL. I too had gone thro' this problem for years and the only thing is to control ourselves, I was the only daughter for my mother and my father died when I was 31/2 yrs. I was new to all these things but my truimp card was not to respond to anything they say.... Be cool and calm and try to be friendly with them ( even if you cannot) as you cannot ignore them as they are your in laws.. I have gone thro' a lot of problems which are big issues , cannot reveal them out. But now for my SIS, MIL & FIL I am the best as they knew the only person who helped them in their need is me. So Roshini take my advice and go forward u will be the best. i am sure u will find a change . U will surely contact me when u find a change

Jansi
************************************************** *********************

Originally Posted by Rohini Santhosh

Hi all,
I am a new member to this forum. I ve been regularly reading almost all the threads in this forum..... very nice forum indeed......... i wanted to share my problem.. and hear some suggestions from u all.......

I am a newly married girl settled in chennai.... just 5 months since marriage...... my problem is with my unmarried sis n law....... she is doing her final year ....... she has a big attitude problem..... when ever people try to praise me for anything i do she grows jealous...... she enjoys poking her nose in all matters no matter whoever speaks of whatever topic.... i somehow feel she is not behaving like a college going girl...... all that she does reminds me of staying with a much elder person.... say of 40-50 years..... the biggest problem is even me and my husband are not able to sit and talk of the day to day activities going on in our offices personally..... she always makes it a point to come and sit between us or ask me in person what we were talking..... this kind of stuff irritates me a lot........ why shud i tel her what ever is personal between me and my husband........

Another issue is that.... she uses all my personal belongings without my permission...... say eyeliners, lipsticks...... clothes...... i dont like people touching my things without even having the courtesy of asking me..... to take..... even the jewels which my mom gave me are in the same position.... I ve always made it a point to buy similar things which i buy for myself to her also... i dont understand y she is more particular in my things only.... how can i use the same things such as liners and lipsticks after she uses them.... i dont really understand how handle this issue..... please help......:confused:

Dear all,

Thanks for the suppport from all of you.......... Sorie that i was away from the forum for a long time........ and i read all your responses today.......

I am really glad to inform you that the situation has improved a lot..... i solved it just by getting her a job in a reputed MNC immediately after she finished her studies......... I spoke to one of my friends working in that company and pushed my SIL s resume through her....... she got the job.... now she is totally engaged with her office and her new friends now....... As suggested by you all i waited patiently all this time so that things will improve on its own.....

hi,
i am tina sarolia i have just read ur problem even i am married and u know i have three sister in laws and all r married so dont think that i am happy bcoz they r married nothing like that even i have to take more than my mother in law if all these become happy her mother will become will become happy.
so try to make her happy whatever she wants u give her and always try to praise her dont insult her slowly and gradually she will realise her mistake u know that no one in this world is perfect try to neglect her bad habits and try to give her love as much as possible after her marriage she will realise her mistake and she will always remember u "FAILURE IS THE KEY TO SUCCESS"i have tried this formula and making my mother in law and sister in law and whole happy hopes it will work for u bye take care ith regards
tina sarolia

Originally Posted by Rohini Santhosh

Hi all,
I am a new member to this forum. I ve been regularly reading almost all the threads in this forum..... very nice forum indeed......... i wanted to share my problem.. and hear some suggestions from u all.......

I am a newly married girl settled in chennai.... just 5 months since marriage...... my problem is with my unmarried sis n law....... she is doing her final year ....... she has a big attitude problem..... when ever people try to praise me for anything i do she grows jealous...... she enjoys poking her nose in all matters no matter whoever speaks of whatever topic.... i somehow feel she is not behaving like a college going girl...... all that she does reminds me of staying with a much elder person.... say of 40-50 years..... the biggest problem is even me and my husband are not able to sit and talk of the day to day activities going on in our offices personally..... she always makes it a point to come and sit between us or ask me in person what we were talking..... this kind of stuff irritates me a lot........ why shud i tel her what ever is personal between me and my husband........

Another issue is that.... she uses all my personal belongings without my permission...... say eyeliners, lipsticks...... clothes...... i dont like people touching my things without even having the courtesy of asking me..... to take..... even the jewels which my mom gave me are in the same position.... I ve always made it a point to buy similar things which i buy for myself to her also... i dont understand y she is more particular in my things only.... how can i use the same things such as liners and lipsticks after she uses them.... i dont really understand how handle this issue..... please help......:confused:

DEAR SANTOSH

I HAD READ UR PROBLEM AND SEEMS QUITE SIMILAR TO ONE OF MY SIS-IN LAW (DOLLY DIDI)
EVEN SHE HAD A TROUBLESOME UN-MARRIED SIS-INLAW (JYOTI) AND POSED EVERY PROBLEM SHE CAN TO MY
SIS-IN LAW. BUT MY SIS-IN LAW BARED EVERYTHING COZ SHE HAS A LOT OF PATIENCE.
HER PATIENCE WON HER (DOLLY DIDI),HER SIS-INLAW(JYOTI) GOT MARRIED. WHEN SHE GOT MARRIED SHE REALIZED THE
PAIN ONE HAS TO TAKE TO KEEP THE FAMILY HAPPY. AND AFTER SHE (JYOTI) GOT MARRIED SHE STARTED BEHAVING VERY
VERY WELL WITH MY SIS-IN LAW (DOLLY) AND INFACT THEY ARE NOW VERY GOOD FRNDS. JYOTI GOT MARRIED AND WENT TO SOUTH AFRICA
AND NOW WHENEVER SHE VISITS INDIA, SHE MAKES IT A POINT TO MAKE DOLLY DIDI HAPPY AND GIVES
HER MANY MANY GIFTS.
A WOMEN HAS TO KEEP A LOT A LOT OF PATIENCE DEAR, I ALSO HAVE SOME PROBLEMS REGARDING
MY MOTHER IN LAW BUT I AM TRYING HARD TO WIN HER HEART WITH LUV AND ABOVE ALL DEAR JUST REMEMBER
"AS YOU SOW SO SHALL YOU REAP" GOT TAKES CARE OF EVERYBODY JUST KEEP PRAYING TO GOD
SHE WILL DEFINATELY IMPROVE ONCE SHE GETS MARRIED AND JUST RELAX AND TRY TO EXPLAIN UR THOUGHTS AND PAIN
TO UR HUSBAND, BE GOOD TO HIM AND KEEP UR BELONGINGS TO SAFE PLACE OR EVEN DONT SHOW
HER WHAT U HAVE BOUGHT, DONT SHARE ANYTHING WITH HER TILL SHE IMPROVES HER ATTITUDE
U HAVE TO BE FAKE AT TIMES
GOOD LUCK DEAR AND LET ME KNOW IF U HAVE SOLVED UR PROBLEM
LUV GAURI

Originally Posted by Rohini Santhosh

Dear all,

Thanks for the suppport from all of you.......... Sorie that i was away from the forum for a long time........ and i read all your responses today.......

I am really glad to inform you that the situation has improved a lot..... i solved it just by getting her a job in a reputed MNC immediately after she finished her studies......... I spoke to one of my friends working in that company and pushed my SIL s resume through her....... she got the job.... now she is totally engaged with her office and her new friends now....... As suggested by you all i waited patiently all this time so that things will improve on its own.....

Hi rohini,

Good that you have solved your problem....

Now that your SIL has new friends, new place of work..she is going to be engaged. so relax and enjoy....

Hi Rohnin,

You did a very smart thing. By helping her out, you made her your friend and now that she has her own busy life, she is not likely to interfere in your personal affairs.

Good for you... Keep it up.

Cheers,
Geetha Satish