Alas!! me too have the same problem

My cosister always comapares with me and my belongings and bugs my jijaji like anything.
As I am working, I have some priorities if I go some shopping. She always accompanies me while going. Whatever I buy, she will also do even if she dont require it. If I go for some jewellery shopping, very next weekend she will bug jijaji and get the jewellery whichever I bought. recent times, i m getting issues with my husband for making her somuch spendthrift. Nonsense, what shoudl I do??do I need to warn her for buying some concealer or lipstick or some hair clip or some chudidar or some partywear saree??
Its all her wish whtever she wants to buy...
But whenever she has a plan she wont even let me know. she will go with any neighbours and brings stuff.
I really dont like her attitude.

First of all, I am sorry to say that I could not understand your relationship.You said "Cosister" at the same time her husband is your "Jijaji". Is it so that you are 2 sisters from the same family married to 2 brothers?

Why I am asking these questions because, if your co-sister is your own sister, then whats the harm in talking to her openly about all this? You could very well tell her that since you are getting blamed for making her spendthrift, from now on , you don't want her to accompany you wherever you go. You can very well have your husband, sister/co-sister and her husband sit and have a talk on all these issues if they are bothering you.

The second point is, if your co-sister is not your own sister, then her husband is your husband's brother. In that case, the situation would be a little tricky to handle.
Whenever, she buys the same stuff that you bought, and your husband or any family members blames you for that, tell them that your co-sister is not a kid and no one can force a matured human being to do something which they themselves don't want to. If your family members consider your co-sister to be a kid, let them pamper her and tell her what is wrong or right. Voice it out lady,open up only once and things will fall in place. Don't take unnecessary foolish blames on your shoulders.

Moreover, you have mentioned that whatever she has to buy, she goes with some neighbor to get it. Tell your husband that she did not consult you before buying these stuffs, hence you are no way responsible for such silly issues.

Dear PriyaMommy,

If she apes you with your purchases just take it as a compliment dear ! You are the trend setter for her
Just stop being annoyed if she keep buying same things instantly. People like ur co-sis are very insecure thats why they would do any funny thing to just keep up with the rest.
Let her be a monkey and copy your style

Would you really want to go when she shops ? Will you be enjoying shopping if she is around ? I don't think so... so let her shop with neighbours etc.
And start NOT telling her your scheduled shopping plans... thats why you can avoid her accompanying you to the markets.

I think you are confusing co-sis with either your sister or sister in law. Co-sis is you hubby's bro's wife.

Regards.

Hey I forgot to add something....
From your post it seems that you are getting the blame for making her a spendthrift !! Nonsense !!
Explain to elders that you cannot control what she buys and tell them to control her by themselves. Ask the elders to give money to co-sis directly and do not get involved in how much she saves how much she spends. Tell them to talk to her directly if they have any objection.
Moreover, if you go shopping alone and co-sis or any other family person gets irritated with you then you can tell them that since they all think you are making her spendthrift so you are excluding her from taking her along, thats why you have started shopping without telling her.

Regards.

Yes !! I am also going to start tht treatment.

She is my hubby's bro's wife, in our areas, we call him too as jijaji, and she is Didi.....

I would call this competition, and this problem is not only in India, but every where in the world, where we indians arestaying in joint families. My cousin chachis had this competition between themselves, if the elder chachi bought a goldbangle the younger one would go and buy two of them this cxompetiotion still continues to date and theyare always trying to out do each other, if one has travelled to india for shopping the other one would do thesame or more.

Most women have inferior complexand theyare not satisfied with what they have and want more and it is not only between co-sistersbut sometimes between MIL and DIL.

have a lovely weekend

I would agree to call it as competition!!!!
Sometimes it may lead to personal gredges also. Being in joint families, we can't avoid certain things in life, as life has to move. So, you should be spontaneously respond to the surroundings and sitations. Should be a bit clever enough to handle some tricky situations without hurting elders. Try to communicate to your cosis tht everybody is blaming you for making her to buy few things which she can't use at all.
By hook or crook get rid of going to shopping with her, tell tht you r busy and can't spend some time for it.
All the best!!!!!!!!!!

hi priya,
actually if she compares everything and buys,it is better for u to go alone,not with her. she is doing the same thing right? she is going with neighbours..and ask ur hubby to directly talk with her so that u can escape from getting bad name. and ur hubby will also understand what she is doing. if u advice it may become a big issue. leave it to ur hubby,arrange for a personal talk with her and don't interfere..let see what happens
thanks

hi,

It is not problem with cosister only,Sometimes ladies around us do such type of activities.Even I get irritated with them very much.
Better ignore them.

hi kranti,

yeah u r right.it's not only a matter with in family members, its even ladies around us ...

how can those people b such stupid....n even crazy...