Irritated....

Hi all,

An issue that was bugging me and I needed it to be resolved. There was this big task, specifics I will leave for now, that needed to be done and me, my MIL and my FIL made it happen and it was a huge success. One of my BIL's commented to my MIL saying, congrats you did it. And she looked at me and responded saying "finally someone recognises who actually put in the most effort" Till then , I was sharing the credit with all, but the truth is that I did put in the most but will never ever say it out loud, just not me....but when she said it, it just so infuriated me. When I casually mentioned it, My husband as usual responded oh, she was just kidding.

She has on many many occasions tried to take the credit for the work I've done. and she always makes these "Im the best" statements. Frankly, they are silly and makes her sound like one of those pompous teenage girls. She also has this bad habit of throwing around tantrums like "oh, i wont eat this""Yuck, what food" "No one makes great food like me " I have never seen her cook btw.

How does one react?

I completely understand how you feel. Most husbands will not accept their parents mistakes in front of their wives. I guess one of the way is to ignore them and think - I know my capability and I don't need their certificate to get going. I will expect appreciation from people who genuinely care. This is a difficult thing to do- and although I am saying I myself am not able to practise it in my own life.

Another way is to pass comments in a subtle way just like your MIL and when your husband in case asks you- you can say the same thing - just kidding.

Sometimes MIL can be very petty - All the best in dealing with her.

Cmon Girl.. maybe she didnt get a chance to do things as a teenager and is compensating for them now !! let her live .. If you feel there is no credit for what you have done.. maybe people did not recognise it.. so the best thing is to stay from joining the group the next time ! Anything she asks you for help say you dont think you can do it.. or that you are busy with something else..
To her comments of what food and Yuck ! You will have to comment only if she is telling something about your cooking.. else let her do what she wants.. you stop bothering about her ! But then if she is hurting you on comments about your cooking then tell her the food's name.. and smile.. else ask her if something is wrong with her tongue and we could go to see the doctor.. When everyone else are eating without jumping around.. you are amazed with her reaction only in the room ! But these statements should not look harsh.. it should be said with lott of smiles !!
About no ne can cook like me.. you should say " Oh yes !! I know that.. this food tastes good .. It is not like how you do.. " or " when did you cook last " i do not remember eating.. But all these should end with a hug and smile.. so that she doesnt get offended and just stops cribbing ! If she is throwing tantrums.. and it is not hurting you then.. you could live with it, Girlie ! If it is just irritating you .. you could also smile it off or walk away from the scene.. I said all the above replies.. only to help you when you have no go and have to listen to a series of comments.. She wants to show her skills and is being loud because she is feeling lonely and inferior.. she feels she has somewhere lost her identity and attention she used to have and is behaving this way to get it.. Remember.. it can happen to our mothers too.. So be more cautious and play safe.. do not spoil your relationship with her only because " you are irritated " with her remarks some times.. We do get irritated with many around us, Girl .. If we start to react to everyone.. that is all we would end up doing ! So think smart and act it too !!

hi Still a girl...it;s true, alot of mils; will do this type of things....in my case i think my mil likes all the attention she gets when people say she cooks well, or planned a party really well etc...she needs to be the center of the room, no matter how much effort other people put in. I also agree with the other comment about not letting her bother you. You know what and how much you did and that;s what matters let her make her comments! Sometimes our il's will say nasty things to us and the way they justify it is by saying its a "joke"....Even my husb says that i take comments out of content...so pls don;t worry, that;s normal! hope this helps
sash