Inlaws issue is consuming me

Hi friends,
This site has indeed been my best friend and I want to share my feelings with you and hope to get your point of view.
Married for over 5 yrs and I have a wonderful baby girl , just 2 months old.Every time I look at her I forget all my troubles.But these days I am always thinking about the rude comments my IL's make when they were here and even now when I talk to them over phone( i try to minimize talking to them as much as possible , but can't avoid it altogether).we talk to them every week which is just about enough to ruin my week.
My parents are here and because of it my MIL is not very happy she keeps telling every one that that because my parents were coming they had to leave but that was not the case, they decided to leave after 6 mths of staying here despite my pregnancy, when they left I called my parents.
MIL always uses flowery language , she is hypocrit and always uses satairical language toward me. FIL is always telling my husband to save money and don't let wife have any freedom when it comes to money, he is also always pestering me and my husband to call SIL and her husband daily and that we should treat them like God and GOdess, whatever we do is never enough . They always favor their daughter over son( my hubby). problem is they will be coming here after few months and i can't bear to live with them. constant nagging, passing negative comments is my MIL 's habit. she is so warm and buttery when people are around, she is very fake and i am very straight forward and frank. I try so much to deal with her, I always say yes to whatever she asks me to but under so much pressure and stress.I do this for the sake of my family's peace at home.eventhough I cry alone.
she is also always passing negative comments about my parents. My parents are very gentle aand kind people unlike my ILs who are so greedy with money that makes me sick to stomach.
I am constantly consumed with their thoughts and that is depriving me of my valuable time with my baby and parents.
Friends I really want to forgive anf forget about her but I can't.
Any tips on how not let people make your life miserable?
how to gain control of your life and put yourself away from thinking too much about negative influences.
I wanted to have a discussion because I know many of us go through similar situation, and friends I think life is too short to let it go by, sad and worried.
I write this because i go read so many of your problems and feel that we women suffer so much emotionally and physically. and its not just me,
please feel free to add in your own thoughts so I can learn from you.

Stay healthy and happy!!

Hi Saheli,

Did you tell yours husband what you are going through??? Probably you are letting your MIL's comments affecting you alot. There are two ways to it, keep both your ears open and be happy (think of your IL as people who are insensitive about others feeling)or when ever she makes a negative comment on your family tell her sweetly that you don't like it and will not hear such things about your family again.

I do not understand why people think its their right to judge a DIL' family, stop it as soon as you can don't just listen. They are your parents and you have all the right to respect them. As for nagging and negative comment on yourself keep both your ears open don't let stupid comments offend you. If the comments are really really harsh then you can always tell them politely that you don't like and appreciate such comments.

Don't think about what has happened bcoz unknowingly you are letting your IL running your life. Its your life and its only you who will run it. Try to judge if you are constantly thinking about them, if yes trying thinking something good about your daughter, plan things for future etc. Take control of your life and do not fret about them coming.

Infact let them come and face them boldly, it will be a lesson for them and lesson for you too. Be strong, the situation will help you to deal with them and probably they will understand that they cannot take you for granted.

If you think something is wrong and you are right then stand your ground. How long will you keep bowing your head someday you will have to keep it held high, so why not start from here.

Be good to them as they are elderly but then politely and strongly convey that you will not take any negative or hard things that they dish out.

Be positive. Enjoy your days with your daughter, try to show your husband your point of view. And more over be excited about their visit. They will for sure find a very different person this time .

All the best for your future.

regards


SHiva

Thanks a lot Shiva,like you said hopefully next time they come here they will be happy seeing my daughter.