Tips to Broaden inlaws thinking!!!!!!!!!

Hi all,

i know it may sound funny to some ladies.
but this is my quest....

Actually till now (its been exactly1 n hlf yrs of my married life) i m living wid my sweet hubby but know coz of job ,i have to shift to my inlaws n i cnt quit cozz i cnt sit idle at home n be dependent i also want to hlp my hubby dearest in financial things also.

MY inlaws are vry gud no dbt supportive also but d problem is THEY ARE VRY CONSERVATIVE.
fr example they wnt me to wear s alwar suits all d time but i while going out dnt feel comfortable wearing suits( pls mark my word that m not against suit as it may hurt some ladies) coz i have rarely wear suits before marriage in any party n functions only.

can u all pls suggest some ideas so dat i can convince my inlaws dat there is not any diff bw salwar suits n jeans n they allow me to wear jeans without any probs

Though i can wear it widout takin any care coz my dear hubby has no problem wid it......but i dnt want to hurt them n dnt wnt to mess up in this ghar ka kalesh n all dat.......i want to avoid all these


PLs do suggest ladies...............

wll be gratefull to u all

Gunjan

Gunjan, are you living in Canada with your in-laws?? Then i am sure that they should not have any problems with you wearing jeans. Many a times it so happens that girls/ladies tend to wear revealing attire...this may also be one of the criteria.

If this is not the case then, frankly tell them that you are not comfortable in salwar and why jeans is more suitable / comfortable for you. There is always a way to put across things.

It would be good if you use complete words and phrases instead of SMS language.

Gunjan
Since you do not want to hurt their emotions you have to convince them in nice and calm way but your sweet words should also convey that you are going to go ahead wearing western wear with or without approval. You can polietly ask them why do they think you should not wear jeans and all. You can convince that western clothes are not going to make you less sensible and less decent. Perhaps they have a mindset that western wear is too revealing and vulgar, which ofcourse is not the case with all the western dresses. Perhaps they are afraid what people will say seeing their dil dressed up in not a decent way.
Personally, I feel that you as an adult are free to choose your clothes but you wishing to maintain peace in household is another sensible thing.
You can initially team up indian style kurtis with your jeans, may be if you are comfortable with your mil then you can take her along with you for kurti shopping! Additionally you may buy some salwar suits of your inlaw's choice and wear them at home or for festival etc.
That should ease out their fears.
But if they are stubborn and refuse to hear any reason or logic then its totally up to you whether you want to stand up for yourself for this issue.
You say your hubby doesnot objects then take his help. Great, if can back you up saying that times are changing and he too prefers seeing you in western wear.

Regards.

HI uns,

THnks fr yr rply.

now I am about to move to Delhi with my inlaws .

i will try not to use sms language.

HI oaktree,

Thnks a lot for your suggestion.
i liked your idea of mutual way of work

i wll ask my MIL to shop with me and also buy some of her choices......nice idea....
Hope it wrks.

Gunjan

HI ladies n gals,

Anymore views.....................

Tips...............

One more tip that I can think of is to take ur in-laws to some of their relatives/friends (who wear jeans) or invite them home so that they can come to know how the current generation is changed. Its not so bad to wear them.

HI Malar,

Nice idea............!!!!1

Thnks a lot.

Gunjan.

Your question really made me laugh.. I mean how we can be so naiive to even think that way. When you at half their age cannot change your thinking to suit theirs how they double your age are supposed to. Your one and half years experience speaks for your question. Take that word from me, you can change no one's thinking in world, even that of your own two year old kid. Here you are talking about grey haired adult individual, who would have their reasons to believe certain way.

With that said, I dont say there is no hope, but dont try cheap tricks of forcing your opinion down their throat in instant coffee manner. It wont work. It will only backfire. If they live in Delhi, they would have already got exposed to these Jeans phenomena. So they are not alien to it. They just want you to follow their wishes , so that they can feel their DIL is cultured and dresses accordingly. This happens in early years of any marriage. They basically want to confirm their belief that they got simple and cultured girl for their son than a fast one. I totally know that wearing jeans has got nothing to do with it. But in their mind it does have everything to do with it. If I were you, I will follow their wishes for some months then gradually build rapport to share my wishes. It s all about defense against one's fears. Once they get to know you at heart. They would rather not care for such trivial issues.

Ria