Inlaws tourture me daily

Honey, whats wrong in working? Why dont you want to work?
If visa takes 6 months, why dont you wotk locally until then?

No job is small or big. I know your inlaws are being rude and they should word it all properly.

But i dont think its unfair to expect you to be the breadearner while your husband studies.you stayed at home for 3 yrs while ur husband worked - whats wrong in him studying while u earn? Its just a matter of 2 yrs right?

If your inlaws are asking u about courses, im assuming they/husband will pay for that? Someone is willing to pay for u to get the skills needed to find a job - what more do you expect?
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You dont have kids yet, so why dont you take up a job in a different city?

Honey, a marriage is partnership. You both must take EQUAL responsibility and support each other. Marriage is not a permanent meal ticket for women to sit at home while men slog.

 

How was it before your husband lost job?Were they this much rude?

 

Why your in-laws are planning your life????what your husband is saying??? What he thinks on this matter??? If I am at your place I will be angry with my husband , not with my in-laws....he is the one who is listening to all this nonsense about you and not saying any word to his parents....he is encouraging his parents to say rude things to you.....
There is nothing wrong if you work while your husband studies....but this decision you both should take mutually, rather than in-laws dictating you....
It seems that because their son is not able to get a job with his current education, they are forcing you to work so that their son can study.....very selfish of them.....when you got married at that time did they make any effort so that you can continue with your job????

 

Op...when grown up educated adults live off old parents,then they do tend to lose respect in the eyes of the parents .You and your husband have not made any financial contribution towards the living arrangement.

It is unfortunate that you alone is having to hear all this while sonny boy is let off...but that is the way things happen in the husband's parents home.If you were living at your parents home.....your husband would probably be taking the heat ,may be not so openly,but he would.

I don't see any thing wrong in what fil said.....If your husband can't find a job ,why have you not been working. I could understand if you were uneducated,unemployable...but you are non of that.You had a job before marriage,so you should have tried harder, when you as a couple were in need.

As for mil....she looks like she could do with some tape on her mouth and some lessons in manners.But can you do anything about it right now....with both of you out of work and dependent on them.There is not much you can do.

What you can do is look out for a job....and then strive to do well at it. You help your husband get his education and control the finances yourself...not like mil thinks it is going to happen.

Once you become strong enough ,then one day calmly tell her never ever to think about twisting your tail ....

Best Wishes OP.

 

When Ur H lost his job instead of going to in laws house u both should have tried to take up some job even small one and tried searching for real job which is suitable for ur qualification.

Is he going to study in abroad. Are u sure he can take u there? As he himself going as a student how can he support u? Do u know for sure that u will get work visa in abroad? If u r going for first time, do u know how easy or tough to get a job and to start everything from scratch? When he completes can he start working immediately? Please research all these things as much as possible.

And financially don't dependent on either of ur parents after marraige, especially ur H should have thought about it.

Don't u feel like u also study further and get good job? Who is going to support ur fees and day to day expenses, in that case? In ur H case u r expected to do that(at least day to day expenses like food , rent ) Can u ask ur H that now I support u to study, later u support me study further, once u settle down.

Take ke up some job even it means another city, actually another city is good, u can call ur H too there, when time comes to go abroad u can go. Don't waste time till then.

ur in laws will be rude if u dependent on them. It is their mentality.

 

What does this mean? What 'language'? How will it help?

 

Probably software language.

 

If marriage is about EQUAL partnership then why does the wife have to move from her city/home and shift in with the husband? Why can't the husband change job and move into his wife's city?

OP was working before marriage, she lost her equilibrium because her husband's job at the time needed him to constantly move, hence she could not continue working under those circumstances.

No modern educated urban girl likes to 'sit at home' and enjoy the free meal tickets as you put it.
Marital responsibilities and 'traditional' expectations from in laws/society make them leave their jobs, career and sometimes even their identities behind to accompany their husbands.
When the wife has bent by giving in her ambitions, the husband can surely take up the responsibility to provide her with meal and shelter atleast until they both adjust to the new environment and manage to find jobs as per their liking.

OP- I know it must be annoying to have someone pester you day and night about job/ studies.
Unfortunately you can't change them. See the positives. They are willing to educate you. Sign up for some course while in India or when you move abroad, if they are willing to pay the fees.
How is your hubby reacting to all this? If he is kind and understanding, then it is ok, your in laws do not matter that much. Just ignore them.