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MIL is slapping me.helpless and clueless

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by apoorva1582, Feb 12, 2016.

  1. apoorva1582

    apoorva1582 New IL'ite

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    Hello all,

    its been so long..today, i am working from home and taking care of my kid..i nowadays dont talk much anything.. wont even get involved.. finish my work, take care of kid and be within myself. my little girl is going to turn 3 in a few weeks.. i have my mil staying with me and my hubby is residing in a different city and working there.. today, i dont know what happened.. i just told me my mil not to make the kid watch tv and feed her food (though she is about to be 3, its only we have to feed her.. thats another story).. my MIL took offense and hit me.. slapped me on my chin and hit me hard.. this is the second time.. in front of my kid.. my kid has now gone to sleep crying hard.. i am hungry.. she hasnt given me any food.. and i feel helpless. cant even cry.. she says all kinds of nonsensical things. no fault of mine.. i am losing my sanity.. i want to leave and take my kid somewhere.. my husband only believes his mom.. please somebody help..

    cant even concentrate on my work.. have got work related deliverables too.
    thanks..
     
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  2. sangeethakripa

    sangeethakripa Gold IL'ite

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    It is very rude. Why should you bear this? You should have not let anyone take you to this stage. Now, get over it quickly. Why are you waiting for her to give food. It is your house. Take food, feed your kid and calm yourself. Tell her clearly that you will file a case against her if she repeats. What is your husband's say in this. Be firm and strong.
    Being financially independent person, You could avoid taking any crap from her. Don't loose yourself for other's cruelty.
     
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  3. apoorva1582

    apoorva1582 New IL'ite

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    Thank you sangeethakripa.. i went and had my food.. little one cried herself to sleep.. unable to pacify her.though i can say i work, i am not financially independent.. have to account for each n every penny i spend.. he doesnt give me any money for household expenses... i have told her now if she hits me again, i will file a complaint.. have recorded her verbal abuse too..though i donno whether it will be useful for me.. she says she has friends in higher places.. i am all alone.. after losing my dad, my mother is helpless.. she is elderly and though my immediate family knows my situtaion, they wont be able to help.. i walked into it blindly and staying in it now only for the sake of my kid..i want to be strong and be a good mom for her..to teach her values and things.. to be independent.. but my hopes are dashing.. literally n figuratively its mom in law who rules the roost.. and she wants me to be her slave. which i dont.. and i told her slavery is abolished.. for her it is still there.. dont know which century she is in.. my mil's family is big.. her rest of the siblings are so wonderful and helpful, i wonder what makes my mil do this? if she want to have her son tied to her apron strings, y did she marry him off?
     
  4. Harini73

    Harini73 Platinum IL'ite

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    First of all it is your house and don't wait for your MIL to give you food.Go and have your food.

    Second why are allowing your MIL to hit you.This is not a good environment for your baby to grow.Talk to her calmly and tell her that you have informed your parents and if this continues you may go to police.

    why are you staying separately from your husband,if possible take a transfer and join your husband.Or else speak to your husband calmly and explain it to him and then go and stay with your parents or stay separately.

    Since you are financially independent make your stand clear and when you start becoming firm,your MIL will start respecting you.

    Act immediately and Take care

     
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  5. crazywriter

    crazywriter Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear, please calm down first.

    Why is this peculiar living arrangement? Can you give us a little background here. Why is your H living separately and MIL with you? Where is MIL's native place? And what about your parents? Is it possible for you to move in to your parents' place? Or take another house for rent or something, a small one room house?

    Your MIL is nobody to raise her hand on you. It is wrong on her part, and that too for a silly reason that you have said. You can take this to the court if needed. But I don't think you should go to that level. If she is unable to talk to you in a civil and decent manner, I don't think it is advisable for you both to live under the same roof like this.

    Please understand, everybody has the right to live a peaceful and happy life free of violence. This is not only affecting you, it is also affecting your child in a negative manner.
     
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  6. Harini73

    Harini73 Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi,

    Once again whatever you are earning then why are spending.Just keep it in your account separately.

    If he is giving money just don't spend for the household items.Start saving your salary.

    Good that you have recorded her verbal abuse and it will be defiantly helpful for you and try to locate local women group and start to have contact with them.
    [, i am not financially independent.. have to account for each n every penny i spend.. he doesnt give me any money for household expenses...
     
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  7. crazywriter

    crazywriter Platinum IL'ite

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    If you need help in reaching out to organizations in the city, please PM me. I may not know too many personally, but I can try to help you in whatever small possible way.
     
  8. coolgal123

    coolgal123 Platinum IL'ite

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    Why you are saying that you are helpless when your mil hit you.....your mil is one woman, using her hands to hit you.....your are one woman can use your hands to stop her....
    Take courage, be bold, don't think as your father is no more so you are helpless....you can help yourself....
    1. Stop your mil from hitting you....when she hit you what you do????cry????stop playing alba naari, you are an educated woman who is working too....
    Next time if your mil hit you, hold her hand, look into her eyes and say to her: don't you dare to hit me, I will call the police and I assure you that your friends in high places will not be able to do a thing....
    2. Stop giving them your salary, stop spending on them....keep your salary in separate account....
    3. Keep on gathering the evidences of abuse....
    4. Talk to your husband what his mother is doing....if he deny to believe it, inform him that just because he can't believe you, you are not going to bear abuse, hence you will not live with mil.....don't plead, just give him the information....if he doesn't take any step...move out.....you haven't married to live with mil and bear the abuse....
    Seriously I am seething in anger after reading your post, when does it stop....even education and earning money is not bringing respect to woman......
     
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  9. sangeethakripa

    sangeethakripa Gold IL'ite

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    If your dh doesn't give money for household expenses then are you earning to spend for the people who are abusing you mentally and physically. This is not the right environment for your child to grow. Either you build it properly with your DH else you provide it for your daughter. Not everybody are gifted with good family but, sure you can reach for some good people rather than to live with such people. Being educated and working mom you can plan your life by seeking little help your parental home. They can support you emotionally if not physical.
    You grab your self respect and your child's future immediately.
     
  10. IniyaaSri

    IniyaaSri IL Hall of Fame

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    "her rest of the siblings are so wonderful and helpful, i wonder what makes my mil do this?"

    How about talking to each and every sibling of your mil?! Take these things to people! Let people know! show your recorded file to them. In most of the cases, people are afraid to face the society!

    If you find you cant do that, show the recorded file to your husband and tell him that you cant bear this anymore. This is not fun dear! Dont bear all these.
     
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