Please advice

Sapna56 · Nov 27, 2015

Hi
I am staying in USA since 1.5 years. I moved to USA after my marriage. My sil is single and she recently moved here for studies. Looking at previous bad experiences my husband decided to make her stay away from us. My pil were not happy with his decision and they think I am the one who made him do that.

About my sil, she's very rude n cunning. She's jealous wid me coz being younger than her I am married. She always compare her wid me.
As soon as me n my husband got married, we stayed in India for couple of months. She used to stay wid us. She appeared very friendly n quite all d time. In this duration, my in laws visited us twice. Whenever in laws came she used to show her true colors. She yelled at me saying dat m not looking after kitchen. I didn't listen n equally reacted to it which my in laws didn't like. Den when we moved to USA , she stopped talking n blocked me on watspp n fb. After she came in USA started talking for few days when she stayed wid us. Now she's into Cold War wid me.

I have a six months old baby. She's least concerned for baby too.

Now my in laws are coming to USA to stay wid us for couple of months. Looking dat their daughter is staying away m sure my mil will create emotional dramas from time to time.
Also my sil don't visit us often. But I am sure when pil come she ll visit us often n participate in emotional dramas. She may not even talk wid me when she come to r place.

I don't know how to react wid her, pil n also to such emotional dramas.

About my DH, he becomes a victim of emotional dramas played by my mil n sil. He's kind of neutral n doesn't oppose dem. I feel helpless in these situations.

Need ur comments guys.

MalStrom · Nov 27, 2015

Since your SIL is an adult, she should live on her own. Why would she expect to stay with you ? She should enjoy her student days and develop her own social circle.
It is reasonable that she will want to visit when your in laws are here, so prepare for that. Treat her well but ignore the nonsense.

CrayoNess · Nov 27, 2015

Do not get involved in their dramas. Good for your SIL to live alone as she is an adult and would be kind of strange setup living with her brother who has an own family. Your PILs staying only for a couple of months and of course want to be with both of their children during the visit so you have to accept that. Let them have their own show, you focus on you baby and own life.

shari2003 · Nov 30, 2015

I just read in another thread that she is staying at your place since you are on an India trip at the moment and would probably move out once you are back. So, your in-laws are also visiting their children in US now? Or is their visit planned after you get back to US?

In either case, looking at how your spouse's behavioral pattern, I feel that you may not be able to object to whatever he decides. Though it is better for her to find an accommodation of her own to stay while she studies, she might or rather your spouse might do that only after your in-laws go back to India. It might be wise for you to remain silent and tolerant for a while, rather than put your relationships at stake.