Log in or Sign up

How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
Dismiss Notice

An introspection

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by sweety127, Oct 2, 2015.

Page 1 of 2

Oct 2, 2015 #1
sweety127 Gold IL'ite

Messages:

358

Likes Received:

445

Trophy Points:

123

Gender:

Female

Ok ladies,

No am not going to vent over here atleast for today..:wave

Its just a small introspection when I see my MIL innocently sleeping , while i sit on the couch browsing IL..What is that with this old woman?

She is a human being, definitely a good one but what made her do all the nasty things she did to me knowingly or unknowingly...I assume that she did it unknowingly as it gives me inner peace.. Was it the love towards her son or the hatred towards me? While the former is understandable, what did i do to earn her wrath apart from marrying her son..

She is a changed person now ( I believe)..still I try being cautious..But when she greets me when i come home, when she asks me to buy a helmet daily inspite of me forgetting, when she compliments everything about me and talks proud of me to everyone, prepares my favourite dishes, doesnt allow me to cut onions as it makes me teary-eyed, once she even massaged my legs when I was in pain, arranges my dusty book shelves or when she says go and read I will take care of… all I could do is wonder..thinkingsmiley

She still never fails to irritate me :bangand is spontaneously combustible. Even two days before we had arguments which was triggered by the stupid me. There she started all her allegations against me infront of H and started digging past issues..H too got irritated and told her to keep quite but she did not yield..This time I tried handling her different..Instead of reacting to her comments, I just held her hands told sorry for the trigger and told her to join us for dinner firmly but politely…The lady who was talking loud suddenly looked at me and started making me a different sabzi as I don’t eat NV..

So the next day emotional blackmailing started where she refused things cooked by me citing reasons but would cook everything for us:idontgetit:..Had I been the older me I would have politely told no to her food..Again I instead ate whatever she cooked and infact complimented the really tasty ones..Again her assumptions were proved wrong..

Today she is as normal as usual..Is it something related to oldage called, “second childhood” which Iam failing to comprehend.. Does this instantaneous shift in personality from insecurity to normalacy when we show little love and empathy at the most unexpected situations something related with the psychology of senior citizens.. i really don’t have any answers..But if it is really true I wish and sincerely pray to god to give me enough strength, serenity, maturity and patience to handle our parents in a much more matured way rather than fighting and yelling when they do something silly..:cheers

sweety127, Oct 2, 2015

sweety127, Oct 2, 2015

#1

sindmani, Iamagoodgirl, JustMyself and 3 others like this.

Loading...
Similar Threads
1. Dad & I - An Introspection - Disciplined Approach
  
  Thyagarajan, Oct 6, 2018, in forum: Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)
  
  Replies:
  
  5
  
  Views:
  
  896
  
  Viswamitra
  
  Oct 7, 2018
2. Self introspection
  
  SGBV, Mar 4, 2016, in forum: Married Life
  
  Replies:
  
  16
  
  Views:
  
  2,829
  
  Priya16
  
  Mar 8, 2016
3. Deepavali - an introspection!
  
  meenasankaran, Nov 11, 2015, in forum: Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)
  
  Replies:
  
  19
  
  Views:
  
  1,476
  
  meenasankaran
  
  Nov 18, 2015
Oct 2, 2015 #2

coolgal123 Platinum IL'ite

Messages:

1,354

Likes Received:

2,670

Trophy Points:

283

Gender:

Female

Whatever good things u wrote ABT ur mil if they are true and not a pretence by your mil then I will say she is good at heart....
Even persons good at heart fall short somewhere, vulnerable to their insecurity, tends to make mistakes....no relationship is perfect ....fights happen between sisters, brothers, mother daughter, father son...so it's all fine...end of the day if a person doesn't hold any bad intentions for you...all is fine...

coolgal123, Oct 2, 2015

coolgal123, Oct 2, 2015

#2

sindmani and sweety127 like this.
Oct 2, 2015 #3

Jas8085 Gold IL'ite

Messages:

226

Likes Received:

465

Trophy Points:

123

Gender:

Female

My MIL is also being nice. I donno what wrong (or right) with her.

Jas8085, Oct 2, 2015

Jas8085, Oct 2, 2015

#3

2 people like this.
Oct 3, 2015 #4

Ragini25 Platinum IL'ite

Messages:

2,484

Likes Received:

4,119

Trophy Points:

283

Gender:

Female

Sons (in indian system) usually very dependent on mom. You mil may have had insecurity when you married, if you would grow more significant in son's life. Its a very natural psychological reaction, and unless one is quite secure this 'bad' manifestations do occur.

Ragini25, Oct 3, 2015

Ragini25, Oct 3, 2015

#4
Oct 3, 2015 #5

yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

Messages:

7,663

Likes Received:

23,148

Trophy Points:

440

Gender:

Female

Whatever the reason,enjoy the change.

yellowmango, Oct 3, 2015

yellowmango, Oct 3, 2015

#5

sindmani and sweety127 like this.
Oct 3, 2015 #6

satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

Messages:

17,880

Likes Received:

25,954

Trophy Points:

590

Gender:

Female

Looks like it is a season of change. Like I have written somewhere else before, the same seems to be the case with me. Either they are changing or we are changing or both are changing. So long as it is for the better ......

Only, be prepared for inconsistencies in behaviour and let them blow over.

satchitananda, Oct 3, 2015

satchitananda, Oct 3, 2015

#6

2 people like this.
Oct 3, 2015 #7

Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

Messages:

12,513

Likes Received:

30,287

Trophy Points:

540

Gender:

Female

Do such sudden changes in disposition, at that age, ever need medical attention? Since they are most likely past menopause, can't be due to that.

Just a thought. No sarcasm.

Rihana, Oct 3, 2015

Rihana, Oct 3, 2015

#7

1 person likes this.
Oct 3, 2015 #8

yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

Messages:

7,663

Likes Received:

23,148

Trophy Points:

440

Gender:

Female

Looks like some kind of goodness infection.....:hide:
Hope it is not seasonal and becomes a chronic one.:coffee

yellowmango, Oct 3, 2015

yellowmango, Oct 3, 2015

#8

2 people like this.
Oct 4, 2015 #9

Laks09 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

Messages:

6,683

Likes Received:

11,158

Trophy Points:

440

Gender:

Female

Ragini25 said: ↑

Sons (in indian system) usually very dependent on mom. You mil may have had insecurity when you married, if you would grow more significant in son's life. Its a very natural psychological reaction, and unless one is quite secure this 'bad' manifestations do occur.
Click to expand...

Yeah and in India the daughters come fully grown with no connection to her parents. They just go to a store and pick one. No psychological reaction from the girl's parents when the spouse becomes more important than them because they didn't foster a connection you see!

This attitude where such insecurities are given unnecessary weightage is the root cause, not the "natural" psychology. If it is so "natural" then it has to happen to mothers of all kinds not just mothers of sons in INDIA.

Laks09, Oct 4, 2015

Laks09, Oct 4, 2015

#9

6 people like this.
Oct 4, 2015 #10

Ragini25 Platinum IL'ite

Messages:

2,484

Likes Received:

4,119

Trophy Points:

283

Gender:

Female

I didnt mean 'natural = healthy' Laks.
I meant, its the reason or one of the reasons for those manifestations commonly in Indian families.

Ragini25, Oct 4, 2015

Ragini25, Oct 4, 2015

#10

(You must log in or sign up to reply here.)

Page 1 of 2

Share This Page