Gift to Soon-to-be-SIL

soulful · Sep 14, 2015

Hello All, I have logged back in after a long time. I have a question I would like your opinion on.

My younger brother would soon be getting married. And I am not sure how much is the ideal/decent gift amount for giving them. I asked my mother for an estimate, but she simply said "whatever you feel like". But I am completely lost because it should be decent - neither too cheap nor atrocious that will make people think "what the heck"

Of course affordability is a factor..but a fair idea from your own or others' experiences will be very appreciated.

Thanks in advance.

P.S> BOth myself and my brother are in the US btw if that matters at all

Rihana · Sep 14, 2015

soulful said: ↑

I asked my mother for an estimate, ...
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Understandable why you asked, but slowly stop yourself from that. Now that bro is getting married, try to keep more dealings between you guys only.

$500 minimum in my opinion for a wedding gift from older sister, and both are in U.S. Might go up till $750. If brother is close to both sister and her husband, then $1000. Weddings happen only once, and the gift/amount does get remembered.

Rather than jewelry, or contributing to an expense like honeymoon, or asking which store they want to get giftcard for, plain simple amazon gift card...

MalStrom · Sep 14, 2015

Give whatever you can comfortably afford. My brother and SIL live in India. For their wedding a couple of years ago, I got my brother a nice DSLR and gave SIL $250 in cash. My brother is a keen photographer and that is literally the only thing he has ever asked me to get so I was happy to do so.

Anamika99 · Sep 15, 2015

My brother got married a year and qtr back. THey both live in USA so do we.

it did not make difference in gift $$

1) I asked my DH to chose - reason is in past anything gifted to my family. my PIL always made fuss. Also, i am cunning, I wanted to see what my DH does....because just a 4 months before my brother's wedding my nephew got married.... and my DH had asked...and since it is 'mameru' (from Mama) , needs to be well done within our limit and I had suggested at-least $3k. It ended up being $3500 .

My DH picked somethign about $1200 for my brother. In our rituals, SIL does not get anything, it is given to brother only and i opposed that, so small amount was split for SIL's gift and rest went to brother's gift

2) Again, it should be what you can afford and what you want to do it--optimal of it

3) I was not sure how much my DH will decide to give to my brother and my borther and I have close relationship and i really wanted to do something special, i paid 1000 for his suit and shoes for reception and I did not tell anybody. It is just between me and bro.

desichica · Sep 15, 2015

Usually gold gifts in my community for own sibling. For the spouse, usually it goes in gift for the wedding, grah santek (the ceremony that happens seperatly before each side before actual wedding ), reception

Ask your mom's sister or whoever you are close to in your family about how much people money to give for a sibling. Ask your mom , "in general how much people give for sibling's wedding gift?" That's what i did when my husband's brother got married.

You can also give gifts like honeymoon

Ragini25 · Sep 15, 2015

For a special event like this - probably around $1000 ,Your mileage may vary.

gauridinesh · Sep 15, 2015

I dont know how it is in your custom - but in our family, there is a custom where the sister /brother's wife of the groom gifts a gold bangle to the bride. This is usually a nice looking bangle that is not too heavy, but can be used for daily wear /casual wear also. I gave my younger co-sis a nice kangan . She still uses it for parties/casual wear, because it is not too gawdy nor is it too plain.

soulful · Sep 15, 2015

Thank you everyone.

@Rihanna, Agree with you. SHould start keeping these things between myself and brother, rather than involve mom.

My brother and I were/are not very close, partly because of the age difference (5 yrs) and partly because we have opposing, not to mention strong personalities. But recently, we have come much closer but not as much.

I was hovering around the 500-750$ range, $1000 seemed a little too much, but kinda felt that could be the magical number. looks like most of you have given in the 1000$ + range.

I can buy something in gold, but I have heard she is not interested in gold jewellery, + being in the US, it feels like a waste - sitting in the bank locker.

Also 2 more questions

1) - is the 1000$ just for the brother? or both brother and SIL?
2) - I was wondering if I should ask my brother and SIL what they would like? What if they say something beyond my limit and then I cannot back out of situation?

Thanks again for yoru responses

justanothergirl · Sep 15, 2015

Stick to $750 if thats what u are comfortable with. Its a decent amount and would make a generous gift.
I would do one gift for the couple which would form the bulk of the $750 and a nice sari or a dressy salwar for ur SIL. Something simple but elegant.
U could ask ..but in case what they want is beyond ur budget ..tell them u could contribute $X towards that purchase.

Cool10 · Sep 15, 2015

I got married around two years back - my SIL who is in US gifted me one Rs 6k saree. I felt that gifting a dress was not useful to me as I didn't wear it apart from one time to show ILs how it looked.

Best gifts received in marriage from extended family were gift cards and cheques. Those gave us the freedom to buy things we liked for our household.