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In law making me feel inferior or low standard

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by cheesecake, Aug 30, 2015.

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Aug 30, 2015 #1
cheesecake Senior IL'ite

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When my dh mother come back from my sister in laws houses,she gets those thongs that i dont have at home like kitchencappliance some clothes for baby etc we are not very well to do so cant afford much.what to do?i feel so bad amd angry.

cheesecake, Aug 30, 2015

cheesecake, Aug 30, 2015

#1

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Sep 1, 2015 #2

yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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Try telling her you are saving to buy those things.
Say something like "Maa, this feels odd,we are saving to buy it anyways"

Or "Maa. we like saving and buying things.It gives great pleasure when you save and buy ".

Or "we are waiting for the sale to buy this stuff".....or "we don't really need this,we are doing fine without it".

yellowmango, Sep 1, 2015

yellowmango, Sep 1, 2015

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Sep 2, 2015 #3

Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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Clothes for baby - accept with a graceful thanks, take pictures and share with SIL.

Kitchen appliances etc - put away when MIL is not staying with you. Make them items only MIL uses at your place. Or send them with MIL.

If MIL lives with you permanently, then need other ideas.

Rihana, Sep 2, 2015

Rihana, Sep 2, 2015

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Sep 2, 2015 #4

Salaswathi Senior IL'ite

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Rihana, sharing photos of the child in the gifted clothes is a great idea. If the clothes are hand-me-downs, preused on your SIL's baby, they ought to be remembered as more precious than new clothes. She had bought them for her own child. You must be doubly thankful.

Yes. When relatives give gifts, one must respond with grace. Assume the best of intentions when a grandmother offers gifts to her grandchild, and the grandchild's mother.

Salaswathi, Sep 2, 2015

Salaswathi, Sep 2, 2015

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Sep 2, 2015 #5

jaden Gold IL'ite

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Op,
I am with you.If you dont like what your mil is doing you need to inform her upfront.Is she getting old clothes and used appliance??If you dont like it just say it directly in a nice way without sounding rude.I mean its totally up to people whether they like or dislike getting second hand things.We are no one to judge.

jaden, Sep 2, 2015

jaden, Sep 2, 2015

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Sep 2, 2015 #6

Iamagoodgirl Platinum IL'ite

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mil brought thongs.:shock:??

Iamagoodgirl, Sep 2, 2015

Iamagoodgirl, Sep 2, 2015

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Sep 2, 2015 #7

yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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Don't know if Op means old things or new things.

Giving old things /clothes totally depends on what kind of relationship the 'giver ' and 'taker ' share.

I can give,take ,exchange any thing with my sister. I can give old storybooks and educational toys to bhabhi's kids but not clothes . I wouldn't give any thing hand me down to co sister.

yellowmango, Sep 2, 2015

yellowmango, Sep 2, 2015

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Sep 2, 2015 #8

indubalram IL Hall of Fame

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I would suggest put them in your MIL cupboard and never use them.

indubalram, Sep 2, 2015

indubalram, Sep 2, 2015

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Sep 2, 2015 #9

brahan Platinum IL'ite

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cheesecake said: ↑

When my dh mother come back from my sister in laws houses,she gets those thongs that i dont have at home like kitchencappliance some clothes for baby etc we are not very well to do so cant afford much.what to do?i feel so bad amd angry.
Click to expand...

Well,If you SIL has sent them with good intentions or as gifting, is there anything wrong in this...Its usual right? Like when my Inlaws visit us , my BIL sends gifts for us and we do the vice versa. Same way i send gifts for my Brother , SIL ( SOmetime expensive gadgets, sometime just simple ones like wallets, dress etc)...I just thought its a nice gesture.

If you feel her intentions are nor right(Mebbe she wants to just show off her wealth ), just brush it aside ...Tell your inlaws that getting gifts always and not re gifting them is not a nice idea...and that in current financial state you cannot offer any gifts to SIL...

brahan, Sep 2, 2015

brahan, Sep 2, 2015

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Sep 3, 2015 #10

cheesecake Senior IL'ite

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Yes it is showoff of wealth.and also why buy things for me that i dont have.they can gift me simply without saying i bought you this because you dont have it or you have no idea how to keep house modern.also when i gift them i do as much as i can afford so its always less that what they do but dont mention it and be showy.

cheesecake, Sep 3, 2015

cheesecake, Sep 3, 2015

#10

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