Buy a Rakhi and wear it ???

adimad · Aug 29, 2015

Just a quick one -

Both my SILs expect my husband to buy 2 rakhis from Indian shop and wear them on his own. They call and ask him on rakhi every year "rakhi pehen li?" ("worn the rakhi?"). This year one of them didn't even bother to call. My MIL called and asked husband "did both sisters call?". So he replied no. MIL: "but she said she sent Whatsapp greetings". Husband: "Yes she did" MIL "Ya so she wished na - you call her" and my husband called her.

Then at the end of every year my MIL sums up the whole year's festivals and special occasions (if any) - like Rakhi, Diwali, Bhaidooj, birthdays and asks my husband to transfer a lumpsum to each of their accounts.

Has anyone else seen this funda with any of your relatives / friends?

Note one SIL is 9 years elder to husband and the other 7 years.

Joyoflife · Aug 29, 2015

You do one thing, take picture of a 100$bill on your husbands phone and send it to both the sils along with mil and write didi buy whatever you want love bhaiya and bhabhi, now no dues left for rakhi. Put a wink wink smiley at the end. Also write I am really thankful to whats app, it has made things really easy, you sent us rakhis on whats app and we are sending you shagun through whats app. Now we are even.

I am yet to understand how and why do some mothers treat their sons as atms.

MalStrom · Aug 29, 2015

This is one of the silliest things I have seen, defeating the whole meaning of the occasion. Why doesn't your husband stand up to this behavior?

Rihana · Aug 29, 2015

What happened is funny, and so is the way you succinctly put it.

adimad said: ↑

Has anyone else seen this funda with any of your relatives / friends?
Click to expand...

Actually yes. Parents trying to manage the adult sibling interactions, including birthday wishes they exchange, gifts, when to gift, how much to sibling or niece/nephew - happens. It can seem bizarre to others. What happens is the result of decades of their lives together, their family dynamics, and often how the children were brought up - whom the parents spent more on, and in this case, the age difference between the children. Add to this the general rule in some families that the younger ones will call the older ones, even if it is the younger one's birthday.

I don't think you are looking for how to handle it - you are just amused at it perhaps?

If the annual lumpsum is not breaking the bank, and you are not expected to get the rakhiis for husband to put on, then, let it be. Probably the siblings also think it is odd, but go along to keep mom happy. They know it is just her convoluted way of ensuring the siblings continue to have a bond.

yellowmango · Aug 30, 2015

My sister sometimes forgets and then calls me up at the last moment to add some more rakhees for my brother and her name on the card .shakehead

My parents are our reminders for all birthdays and anniversaries. Yesterday I profusely apologized to my niece for forgetting her birthday in spite of reminder from my parents.

dimhere · Sep 1, 2015

adimad said: ↑

Just a quick one -

My MIL called and asked husband "did both sisters call?". So he replied no. MIL: "but she said she sent Whatsapp greetings". Husband: "Yes she did" MIL "Ya so she wished na - you call her"
Click to expand...

So your MIL basically KNOWS one SIL dint call, she only sent watsapp, had entire info in her head, and was just builidng to the last sentence. "You should call your sister".

Next time, when they ask you to transfer X amount to them, tell your DH jokingly, we should transfer only X-20 dollars, shouldn't we be reimbursed for the rakhis from the Indian store??

And tell your SIL when you meet her the next time that there are some sisters in India, who plan a month ahead, buy their own rakhis, and courier them from India to US in time for their brothers to wear it on the festival day.

Anamika99 · Sep 1, 2015

Let it be, it is between DH and her sis. As long as they are not bothering you with something, don;t let them ruling ur DH bother u. You should get involve and give ideas to ur DH (again not to carry out ideas, just give)

If gifting them often is a demand and big gifts on rakhi.....is hurting your budget and ur DH does not take steps then you must....lay out the plan, for retiremtn, schooling , monthly expenses and figure how much saving is must and that is why range of gifitng can be only so much

adimad · Sep 1, 2015

Thanks friends!

Yeah I just find it a bit amusing - it isnt hurting me at all - not financially not emotionally either. Was just wondering if it is a common thing or my SILs have come up with this ingenuous idea! :roll:

Earlier such things used to bother me coz I felt bad about how my husband is being taken advantage of but now nothing - if the exploiter and exploited both are happy friendssmileywith something that doesnt affect me why should I bother :coffee