Hi Ladies, Does your MIL control the kitchen? Mine does...and I feel like I am there just to take her instructions. i.e. chop this, cook that. I cant decide the menu without her throwing a fit. It gets worst when SIL is visiting. The two ladies run the show at home. They decide things like "lets make xyz for lunch." " Lets go out for dinner." In addition, MIL will make a warm breakfast and will invite SIL, my husband and FIL to come eat the breakfast. I will either need to not eat it or just walk to the table uninvited like an outsider while they are all talking amongst themselves. In addition, SIL will throw some unsolicited advice for my daughter. "she should have soup for lunch...and will proceed to make a soup for her." She will also prevent husband from helping me in the kitchen. When he is helping me, she will say come lets sit outside and talk and spend some time together and husband will follow her like a puppy leaving me with all the work. I feel totally out of control and chaotic when they are around. How do you maintain control of your home?
Well, speak up...nobody can speak for you. You dont have control on others behavior, but you can speak for yourself...mention what should be cooked, if they dont, dont give up, repeat everyday...go bring veggies, and tell what should be made. It is their house, they are used to that life, of having control....you should behave like it is yours too now. If they dont call you, dont go to the table, eat after they are done. Let them realize you are not there, at least let your husband notice it and call you
Though it seems to be easy to get control,... it is not so...... Speaking for yourself will land you in trouble.... in fact I have faced same problem though we are in a nuclear family... Whenever MIL comes here she invites all her relatives for lunch, dinner and breakfast and I am left out.... Even I don't know how to get control of the situation
I can so relate to this situation, even though i am in a nuclear family. When my inlaws visit, they take over the house. Hugs! So what can you do? be smart. Make your meals. Enlist the help of your maids/cooks to help you with it incase you are working or unable to make urself. Order food if need be. Don't expect to be invited. Eat BEFORE they do AFTER casually asking if they would like to join you for breakfast. Make just a little more than just for yourself, lest you be labelled selfish - you dont have to make for everyone. And eat what they have made too in case there is something made - but help only small portions and make sure there is plenty for everyone. Most importantly - DO NOT EXPECT. Go about your work all the best!
op i went through same.I made MIL busy with yoga class,bhajan class,treatment for her knee.She dont have now time for inviting sil and relatives.I control whole home.