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is it the universal truth that in laws wont love you as they love their own kids

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by priynwada, Jul 30, 2015.

  1. priynwada

    priynwada Senior IL'ite

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    So my head was paining as like some one is beating me with hammer. Asked fil about some medicine as he's a doctor. Fil gave. Mil asked me to help in the kitchen. I did with paining head. That night went. Two days have passes but still they both did not asked about headache.

    When my hubbies head started to pain;mil prepared some special food for him. Took all the care of him.

    I take lot of care of mil also all the relatives. But can't I just expect some things from them. They take care of only their son and grandson. But why not me.

    After all this questions asked to myself; I have decided to ignore them and be arrogant and give pain to them.

    M I doing the right thing?
     
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  2. Iamagoodgirl

    Iamagoodgirl Platinum IL'ite

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    no dont do that.That will just worsen situation further.
     
  3. jaden

    jaden Gold IL'ite

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    Look at it this way,at least they care about their own son.I know of parents so selfish that all they bother about is themselves and use son for their own selfish motives.

    In other words you dont need to become them.Be a better person compared to them and be proud of the fact.
     
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  4. Metamorphic

    Metamorphic Platinum IL'ite

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    Nobody, in-laws or otherwise, can love a person the same way they love their own child. This is the universal truth.

    Your headache, they just know that you have pain. Son's headache, they feel the pain. These are some hard facts, not just related to marraige.

    Lower your expectations. Do your duty and stay detached with them.

    Decisions like being arrogant, giving them pain will only worsen the relationships.
     
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  5. YoGirl

    YoGirl Gold IL'ite

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    Same boat..
    Even I don't understand. We are either of the same age or younger to H, which means that we need to receive either equal or MORE care...
    How can a MIL who is a lady by herself never understand the pain of DIL(during medical conditions, pregnancy,etc)

    They don't have to do seva...just asking would be enough.
    It irritates me to the core when they pamper their son like a small kid and bring the house down if his health is bad..
     
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  6. paramlav

    paramlav Silver IL'ite

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    I would say either. There are in laws who care a lot to their dil and treat more like daughter, there are many in laws who don't even consider dil as human being.
    Be who you are.. don't expect from anyone anything , you may make them realize your importance. if you are arrogant it may effect your present life.
     
  7. katochsimi

    katochsimi Gold IL'ite

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    no you will do wrong with them.
    c have seen all the pain and suffering of all DIls here and in person also. even i have went thru a lot. what i really feel main culprit is "expectations" this gives too much trouble to self and all. i have thrown that out of my life and now living happily.
    seriously try that.
    with in laws that is universal truth that they will never have that much love and care as like their son. its ok...not a big deal. unless and until they are mentally torturing you or abusing emotionally or physically, i think you should not give much importance to such things. otherwise your life will be really difficult.
    just enjoy your life with your hubby and pls dont stop all good deeds with them. its ok in office also no one bothers for our health or with our problem but there we take it easy but when it comes to family we expects a lot. ya i know here u will say they are close ones and all...but remember this expectations we have more with family and so we get all those wounds too...
    relax and just breathe....console1
     
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  8. docathome

    docathome Gold IL'ite

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    I think in-laws can never love their DIL as much as their son n vice versa too.. Neither can a girls patents love the son in law as much as their daughter. That's the truth.. But since in joint families the DIL has to stay with in-laws it affects her but not the hubby..
    I think you should not expect anything from them cos then u won't get hurt. I believe you should treat others the way they treat you.. Otherwise it just leads to resentment..if they behave normally with u but ignore your sickness you should behave likewise when they crib bout their aches n pains.. Just move on.. It's really not worth wasting your time n wishing things were different.. You are responsible for your health.. So don't expect anything from others.. Tale good care of yourself if you r I'll. Don't bend backwards n do all the work.. Just tell them politely that you r unwell... No need to tell them the details unless they ask you. Once they realise you value yourself n won't fall apart trying to satisfy them, they will also start valuing you..
     
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  9. guava

    guava Senior IL'ite

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    I don't agree. People who lack morals do this. And people who justify such actions is horrible still. I hate the hypocritical good DILs.

    How would you judge a parent if he treats biological child well and adopted one is exploited. It's the same situation here.

    Something's gravely missing in the morals of Indian parenting leading to hypocritical and corrupt society. Do not respect girl. Son watches this silently and doesn't bring along wife.

    I bet these so called parents if he doesn't give money or is loving to his wife. They will make his life hell. He knows them too well so won't do.

    What love ? the selfish kind of love that too from parents. It's the sons wife. They both are one. If the two are standing Vedas say none should walk thru that space between them.

    Next birth the parents will have mangal dosh. Divorce and separation. Anyone in this world should always try to unite husband wife. Any body having maritAl problems should unite couple or make a marriage happen that's pariharam.

    That's precisely why childless couples get pregnancy after adopting a child. When no treatment worked.Dosh from previous birth has been remedied.

    So what if they are parents of the DH( shouldn't wish them ill ) but jokers will have drama in the end or next lives. Manasa vacha karmana whatever wrong done has to be paid for.

    OP should bear time will change. Altering and fighting karma worsens it. Pray in your mind get strength time will spin. They might have bad time. Usually happens. I'm not saying they should or they will.
     
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  10. Desiindian

    Desiindian Gold IL'ite

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    OP, 100% we cannot match our parent to our Inlaws, Same way Inlaws cannot see their DIL as their own daughter. Dils are gifted as long as inlaws are not troubles or interfering.
     

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