Am I being petty or egoistic ?

i really would like to all sorts of views as I am not sure about what I'm thinking is right or it's just my ego. I have been married for nearly 10 years, my husbands older brother who is around 5 years older to my husband has hardly called for 4 or 5 times in all these years and that was when he needed money. He never calls us not even on birthdays or anniversaries. Forget calling he doesn't even text us to wish happy birthday to our dd. Bil also lives in a western country, so the excuse that overseas calling is expensive is not valid here. My husband is the only one who calls all the time. If my husband doesn't call for months, bil will never try to stay in touch. My husband calls on both of his nephews birthdays, brothers bday, their anniversary, Diwali ,new year and even otherwise. This time my husband called his brother after two months and DH started making silly excuses for calling after a long time. Never once he tells his brother that he should also call sometime. In the beginning of marriage when I was working very hard to set up my bussiness, I used to work 10plus hours. In the evening my husband used to put me on phone with his 2 and 4 year old nephews on the name of maintaing the relationship. Now bil never even bothers about calling us to know about our daughter. is maintaing relation only my DH s responsibility. These days it really irks me a lot when hubby makes calls to his brother. Should I say something to him or just let it go. Is it actually an issue or just my ego. Really need your insight to clear my mind.

 

thanks for replying. A part of me also says the same. I will try to bite my tongue.

 

Thanks for replying. My own brother is like that he doesn't call so often, but he always call up on my daughters birthday. Here in my husbands case bil only calls up when he needs money and he never calls back to return the money, so money borrowed to bil never comes back. When even husband calls after a month or so to stay in touch, bil takes husband on guilt trips that he should talk more to his boys( bils sons), while he never even bothers to wish his niece ( our daughter) on her birthdays.

My concern was that my husband has been taken for granted by his brother. I started this thread to validate my feelings both positive and negative. These days I am doing all possible efforts to cut the strings of negativity, so I really wanted to clear my mind. whatever it is I will stay out of it. Since I am not dragged into all this, I better mind my own bussiness:coffee

 

Thanks for replying.:iagree

 

That was my concern that my husband is being taken for granted by his brother, but you are right that is something he should learn on his own. I have never had a talk to him about it. From last many months I have decided I will not talk much about his family. He is a very emotional person and he also knows that my feelings are valid, but I feel deep down he knows that if do not call his brother, he may loose touch with him. so I will just let it be. I have learnt to close my eyes now and it brings so much peace.

I share a good relation with my co sis and their kids. She is a westerner and I am the only person she can relate to in the family. My mil tries her best to show both of us that we mean nothing to her. So in all this we have formed a good bond. We do not call each other often, but when ever we meet we enjoy each others company.