MIL mental tortures

Hi all,

My DH has an elder brother whose wife disrespects my MIL and FIL a lot. They have lots of fights and my co-sis ensures she doesn't cook a single meal. She just gets up late and involves herself with chores such that she doesn't have to cook. Even lunch and dinners she escapes making and feeds her son at her friend's place. She ensures that she doesnt cook. Overall she has no patience to tolerate them and fights with them. My ILs are loud people and they scream and abuse at the drop of a hat. I however come from a very different family where we never screamed and never spoke at high pitches. I stay in Bangalore so when my MIL and FIL come to stay with me I am very respectful towards them and used to cook all meals, even cook new recipes to please them. Though i am working woman i used to come back from work, attend meetings and then cook. My MIL just slept and saw TV throughout day. Througout 6 yrs of marriage my MIL always used to pick instances and poison my hubby's ears by saying that he should have married someone within their Telegu community (i am an anglo-indian), I have forgiven her all that and much more torturing comments/taunts. Recently the complete family went for a vacation. I was sitting besides my MIL when she started bad-mouthing both her DILs to the owner of resort. I was amazed that she had the audacity to badmouth me in front of me. I was so pissed off that i left the place and didnt say any word to her...After we came back to Bangalore and my MIL went back to mumbai. Everyday she is calling DH and telling your wife has not called me...Tell her to call me...she has to give me respect..and then she started crying saying that i will run away i will go missing only then you people will value me...i have forgiven her enough in the past. What i felt bad was my co-sis does nothing for her and i do everything still i get the same bad words that she uses for my co-sis. Then what is the point in doing so much for her. I cant bring myself to make the formality call to do small talk. I feel that if i call her i will lose self-respect in my own eyes. DH says that he will not force me to respect his mother or ask me to call her. She is calling him daily atleast 5 times to tell him that i have not yet called her...i dont want to bow down in front of her ego...what should i do?

 

Thank you friends for your advice. my MIL keeps saying if she had threatened to eat poison then her sons wouldnt have married out of caste and she wouldnt face all these problems. This.... after all the care we have taken of her.