MILs questions

sillyme · Jul 5, 2015

Hi, this happened to a friend - she is pregnant (2 months now), they decided to tell their parents and in laws. While she was talking to her MIL, her MIL probably wanted to exactly find out when they knew and when they were informing them etc so she was probing the question on how many months etc and later asked when her last period was directly and she had to answer. After answering her she feels a lil exploited for asking such personal question and scolding herself for giving away the answer without avoiding it. MIL is pretty manipulative. Your thoughts? Does she have to worry so much about it?

Thanks

cutemonster · Jul 5, 2015

No, first because she is pregnant so no point in stressing about trivial things , not good for the baby.secondly , its ok I feel if mil asked no big deal , ur friend can tell she was not sure till the 7th week when u can hear a ops heart beat in ultrasound.
tell ur friend to relax and enjoy this phase.hormonal changes will make her moody

Rihana · Jul 5, 2015

sillyme said: ↑

Does she have to worry so much about it?

Thanks
Click to expand...

That friend you?

To worry or not is a personal choice and threshold levels vary. In general, the skill to deflect nosy or direct questions is very useful to have and satisfying to employ.

Googling returned some interesting suggestions. This is one I found quite exhaustive: What are some good ways to respond to a question without giving it a direct answer? - Quora

yellowmango · Jul 5, 2015

Op...it is very normal .Mils are not that close to dil so they have to get information by digging or other means.
Her mother would not feel the need to dig and can ask her daughter directly but most mils will be hesitant.
Just like we can ask our mothers directly but not mil.Tell your friend to not to think about it. She has so much better to think about.

generic · Jul 5, 2015

I think of a few reasons why the MIL asked DIL the date of her last period:
1. To check how long the pregnancy news has been witheld from her & kept as "secret" and to subtly find out if other people have known the news before her?Most MILs want to know as soon as the pregnancy test result is received as positive.
2. To calculate approximate delivery date
3. To organize some poojas or function for well being of mother & unborn child (including Godh Bharai function).
If it's (1) then typical MIL behaviour...If (2) or (3) then probably it's just for information and with good intentions.

polymorphic · Jul 10, 2015

If the mil tries to dig out information and feels bad about being kept away from such details, so be it. Wish your friend a happy pregnancy

meenurani · Jul 11, 2015

Naa OP, your friend need not worry about these silly matters. Whats the big deal? Dont think much about others and ask her to relaxand enjoy pregnancy.

adimad · Jul 16, 2015

My MIL did the same when we had called to inform about the good news. She asked me point blank on the phone about when I had had my last period. I was very irritated by that and I said to my DH (without covering or muting the phone) "I dont want to answer that personal question and it is so offensive!!" and shoved the phone in his hand and left. I heard him trying to change topic.

Later on also, when my DD was a couple of weeks old, she couldnt stop enquiring about breastfeeding from me and DH both ..how much, when, how, still doing it... etc. I got so sick of it.

I hate it that these women have no sense respect for someone's privacy / personal space / comfort and they feel entitled to this personal information. :bang

SGBV · Jul 16, 2015

I dont think it is offensive. But it varies person to person. Perhaps your friend and her MIL have different wavelength. So accept the difference and move on. This is anyway a very trivial matter to worry while carrying a baby.