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How much did you spend on your InLaws when they visited you last time in US.

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by sslkgpaa, Jun 29, 2015.

  1. sslkgpaa

    sslkgpaa Gold IL'ite

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    Hi All,

    My InLaws are here and recently we realized that they have come here with a hidden agenda to shop and visit all tourist spots. They have little (rather not at all) interest in taking care of me and LO post delivery. I was surprised that MIL got a big list both for shopping and visiting places.
    Anyway, now we (me and DH) have decided that we will get them some shopping done and show some places and send them off sooner so that we can resume back to our routine life(read peaceful life).
    From all the ladies here who have had their PILs in US, can you please give me an approx amount how much it cost you to have them spend their time with you.

    Waiting for your response!

    Cheers
    /S
     
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  2. sunshine1970

    sunshine1970 Gold IL'ite

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    Hi not sure what the hidden agenda is, it is not normal for tourists to see things and shop. You can't expect IL to be home bound and doing sea 24/7-that is not reasonable. At any rate, I would set out budget based on your income, it may vary for different people. I would say spend about $1000 on them (500 each) and then divide by number of outings you are willing to go on and take away some of that for shopping.
     
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  3. sslkgpaa

    sslkgpaa Gold IL'ite

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    Hi Sunshine, Thanks for your suggestion.
    They have not come here to tour US.(Atleast this is what they have said before coming) I am still recovering a major surgery (c-section delivery). My both kids are small (need constant attention). I work full-time. We were managing all this alone and didnt ask them to come for help. They insisted that they want to come and help us.
    Now the second thing they are not homebound. My hubby takes them out every weekend to visit places and I stay alone with the baby and prepare food so that they can eat and rest after coming back. Everytime we go for grocery (or any other shopping for that matter) we take them along and eat out very often.
    One of my ILs relative called them and asked what all they have seen, and asked if they have seen las vegas, niagrafalls and new york. (all these are really far from where we live) and my ILs are under impression that we are not showing them good places and asking us everytime when we will take them to niagrafalls.:bonk . we are trying to make them understand that this is not the righttime to visit far off places as baby is still small. But now they are saying that show us what all u can show and we want to do some shopping (i had no idea she had a list already) and reschedule our tickets.
    I have never seen parents being so straight forward selfish with their own children.
     
  4. VanithaSudhir

    VanithaSudhir Platinum IL'ite

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    Send them to the relative's house who suggested this. :) Load a credit card and give them. Ask their relative to take them around. You will atleast escape from physical stress and taking the baby around.
     
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  5. sslkgpaa

    sslkgpaa Gold IL'ite

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    Lol.. I wish I could say that. Infact if we can get even 1% straight forward as they are with us we could have escaped all this drama. Just for flight tickets and insurance we have spent $4500. Now to reschedule the tickets atleast $1500 more (original tickets were non-refundable:bang). The problem is not that we dont want to spend on them but the way they are behaving. Even my toddler doesn't demand something like this.

    Anyway girls please give me an estimate. I am still waiting for your responses!!
     
  6. Akanksha1982

    Akanksha1982 IL Hall of Fame

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    We had taken our ILs to east coast (from atlanta to Niagara falls), LV, GC and LA, apart from close by places and did all the shopping as well. I didn't had any child at that time but we all four of us went everywhere. We took leave from our work. Maybe your DH can take a week off and take them to east coast, not all of you need to go. Yaar, it is their son they are expecting from and there should be no hesitation for spending on parents. you are not going to be poorer if you spend a few thousands on his parents. It is not a question of being big hearted, it is your husband's duty.
     
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  7. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    The estimate will depend on your financial ability. Someone may spend $200, others may spend $20,000.
    On my parents' first visit to the US we took them to Niagara Falls, NYC, Longwood Gardens and California. My DH took leave for Niagara Falls and I took them everywhere else. We also live in a touristy place so we did all the local sightseeing on weekends. It is natural for first time visitors to want to see places.
    Discuss with your DH and arrive at a budget that is comfortable for you. Also see if there are some tours you can send your in-laws on, by themselves.
     
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  8. VanithaSudhir

    VanithaSudhir Platinum IL'ite

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    OMG ... You are rescheduling the tickets ? Too much. Ask them to leave on the scheduled day. :)..
    Now being vacation time.. I am sure the ticket prices are high. Ballpark is 1500 per head including accommodation etc.. to visit NY, Niagara.. for 5 days..
    Las Vegas (this is close drive for you). Maybe a weekend trip.
     
  9. VanithaSudhir

    VanithaSudhir Platinum IL'ite

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    Aks..I disagree with you here.

    I don't think it is a question of becoming poorer. What may be seem a few thousand bucks for some of us would definitely be a big amount for others.
    They are not here to visit their son and tour. Probably if that was the case OP and her DH may have planned it and saved some bucks on the ticket price etc and be prepared too.
    She is a mom with a new born kid and would definitely expect help and not anticipate a tour. OP must be thinking to get back to her feet and trying to balance the requirements of her kids and not really be prepared to entertain her ILs.
    I would have got frustrated too.
     
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  10. Akanksha1982

    Akanksha1982 IL Hall of Fame

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    Maybe I am mistaken, but OP's thread title and the details meant that she was more concerned about the expenses. Hardship is always there even if someone just visits us. There are ways to limit the expenses (taking a night flight, booking a month in advance etc, taking tours San Francisco Bay Area Bus Tour, Hotel Reservation, Vacation &amp Travel Services : Lassen Tours). If kids are a priority, may be take some time off or limit the hours. Parents are special and should be treated as such. Parents never think of expenses when it comes to children. So as children, isn't it fair to not worry about expenses for parents?

    Yes, it was a huge portion of our savings when we took my ILs around. It was not easy carrying nearly full kitchen around for my MIL who wouldn't eat outside food. Eventually, our savings grew and we bought house and other luxuries. So it is not the end of the world if parents are treated happily.
     
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