In laws and frustration

Speak up, tell them politely about your likes and dislikes when it comes to dressing. Be soft in your words but firm.

 

Hi OP,

There is no need to lose your independence after the marriage. Based on your post, it seems your in-laws and husband are otherwise good to you, but however good they are constant criticism will get to you eventually if you don't act now. As Grihani mentioned, be polite and express your desires and how you wish things to be done. Maybe they are unaware of your ideas and may think they know better. Get this across to your husband in a nice way that this constant criticism is making you upset and would like to do things your way, and hopefully he can convey that to his parents also. Take matters into your own hand, for example if you buy a new dress you don't have to show them or seek their approval, just wear it happily. If they say it's not nice, you just say 'but I like it, and it makes me happy'. Don't heed to negative remarks, and if you are strong then they would have no choice but let go. Make them understand that even though you are soft spoken and nice to them, you will stand by your ideas. It is not an easy thing to do- believe me, but it helps in the long run when they start taking decisions for bigger things in life.

 

Hi samsWait,

I am also facing the same situation. I usually ignore their criticisms when it comes to dressing. If it becomes intolerable then I tell them I like wearing what I am wearing.

Usually they reply by saying We just want you to look good because we care about you. I tell them I feel I look good when I wear clothes I like by saying I don't look good in them you are hurting my feelings. After that they leave me alone. Of course after couple of days same scenario repeats.

So explain to them politely but don't expect them to change. If they continue to do it just patiently explain again. Note: No matter what you do don't change your style it will only encourage them to criticism you often

 

You need to speak up. talk calmly and pleasantly but be firm. Constantly do what you wish and use stock phrases like I prefer this/ I don't like that/ that is uncomfortable/ I feel better in this/ I prefer wearing clothes I choose/ I dont like other people telling me what to wear....

Do everything to make yourself happy; the rest will fall in place

 

Then stop smiling. You send a wrong message when you do that.
Tell her you don't feel like a daughter when you are not allowed to even wear clothes of your choice.....then move away.Don't give her a chance to justify her demands.
There is no justifications for controlling others life like this.

 

You need to stop trying to reason with them. No generalisations. You talk only about you: "I" don't like this. "I" like this. Do as you please and if you want to gloss it over, simply say "perhaps another day; today I want to wear this." Don't stand there waiting around for them to compare you with others. For when certain people try to compare me, I have perfected a suppressed sneer with a derisive laugh- nostrils flaring and a very suppressed smile on my face, chewing inner cheeks seemingly to stop the smile. I will just stop short of laughing in their face, as though with great difficulty saying my tastes are way different and quickly move away. A couple of doses of this and they've backed off to stop looking like fools.