Need suggestions... Big time fight

I'll suggest to go to your home, it may temporarily boost their egos. But remember, you've also built that home and given so many years of your life to it.Go back but be firm. Do not be sorry if its not your mistake. Just carry on with life without giving them too much importance..!

 

Dear OP

I understand your anger and feeling of desperation. Your MIL has succeeded in her task of portraying you as "bad dil" in the eyes of your hubby. She has provoked you. Don't allow others to provoke your anger. Whatever it be you should not have let her take the upper hand by saying "you take her of your son". If Mil says, her son has become "joru ka gulam", then she is supposed to discuss it with him. You need not take the blame on you when it is of no fault of yours. She tactically won her possessiveness over her son. But Let go now.

Now she would claim that you went by yourself and she is not to be blamed.Tossing the coin over. In the initial years all such hiccups will crop up. Do not let go your Husband unless you have any personal issue with him. Curb others emotional interference to spoil your life. Call you DH and speak to him calmly and try to go to your home. There are several seniors who could guide you better in this forum. And this is my suggestion. Be firm and calm in handling your MIL. Silent and Smile treatment to her will allow you to control your emotions. Do not express your real feeling for her Since you are working and having a kid you might have a tight schedule. Do not give much importance to her cunning intentions.

All the Best for Happy Start up..

 

Whatever happens never leave the home. It will only give more room for your MIL to bad mouth you.
Keep your friends close.. keep your enemies closer.
I would suggest you pack your bags and go home. Act as if nothing has happened.. And never repeat it. Fight it from wherever you are. ! Just my 2 cents.

 

Op,
Don't wait for your husband to call you. Go home , that's your house you don't need anyone's invitation.
If MIL wants to continue the fight, just ignore her.

 

First of all give some time for your husband to miss you and your mother in law to regret for spoiling her sons life. Don't go. Don't stay in your brother's home too. Rent a home and stay alone with your mom. Read some good books and enjoy your time with books and son For some time. Your husband knows you will feel and come back since you are timid and living in brother's home. That's why he is creating drama by talking only to your child. Please don't ask anyones advise escp in a forum like this. Do whatever is good for you, your esteem. Do some meditation and decide what is good for you. I am sure he will come back to you in few days. Your mil can't live without you. People who treat their dil like slave can't live without them since their ego will get hurt badly and society will speak badly about her.

 

You know, there's no fixed answer to this. A lot depends on the kind of man your husband is. Only you really know that.

He's ignored you for two weeks. In spite of mum-in-law being an instigator, what do you think - is this a lovers' quarrel for him? A little ego trip? Or a make or break khandan-ki-izzat issue? Is the limit of his ego only that he wants you to make the first move or is it that he wants to cudgel you into submission now and forever?

Try and talk to him privately - go out to dinner, talk, listen. There is no shame in making the first move in a lovers' quarrel ... in an 'achha ji main haari, chalo maan jao na ...' spirit - if he will let you. If, on the other hand, he has a flair for the dramatic, then you have some thinking to do - about all the pair padhna, maafi mangna and all that jazz.

 

If you genuinely feel that your husband is not a bad guy, then you need to get back to him. These hiccups with ILs will happen. Your MIL is a bad one here and everyone knows, then why should your relationship with your H suffer.
Since you mentioned once to her to sort out issues with you directly and not crib infront of DH, continue doing the same and tell her everytime there is a small fight.. first few times, she will call her son a joru ka gulam again..but don't bother..eventually she will shut her mouth.

If you have any issues in your house, keep giving hints(not discuss in detail) to your parents and brother..so that they understand your status.

 

hi,
i m also facing the same condition, only difference is that i had not left my home, but i will suggest you dont go back untill and unless ur hubby will not call u, this is his drama that he call and only speak to his son, take a rented room and shifted with your mom , do you job wisely she will take care of your child, once when your husband and his family see that you are capable enough to upbring your child without his need and support and when all "aas paros ke log" janenge , about you , than he will come back to you

 

Dear,
Its ur home n after marriage that devils place is ur home.. if MIL can do so much n turn ur H against u then u have to be equally bad with her. How can she ask u to go n make her son to send u back?
It was her right who chose u for marriage with her son n now if she can do so many dramas then u have to take charge..

first, go back to ur home with all confidence. dont give a damn for anyones reaction.

second, give some time for ur H to tink while u r at ur home(MIL home). dont talk to him regarding anything.. anything means anything... Go there n just do ur work,household work, go to office, take care of ur kid come back from office n relax n eat dinner n sleep...
do this for sometime may be a month or two.. during this time dont talk to anyone anything or expect from ur H anything.

If some1 asks u y u came back then reply coldly that this is my home n have married to stay happy with my H.. and after some time try to build some good relation with ur H.. ignore whatever he says and just thunk u have to be nice with him n dont expect anything in return... if u do like this for some months then i can say with confidence that ur H will surely understand u n u too can have a relaxed life..

Remmember dear, a life without H will be more difficult than MIL tricks..

If ur MIL can hurt u u try to irritate her but in a smart way... this u will learn in experience only.. so till u gain experience do as the above said n never do the mistake of leaving house.. especially now because u have a kid n he needs a dad n so do u deserve a better life so deal with MIL in a smart way n life happily infront of MIL. this only will irritate her to the core..

All the Best dear....

GO BACK...