Want to stay in a nuclear family.

BDivya · May 13, 2015

Hi all,

I simply want to stay in a nuclear family. I want to get away from my In-Laws. There are many incidents that they show partiality between me and my co-sis, fill up my DH ears against me, not talking properly to me, avoiding me when during any discuissions. There are many other situations. Overall I just want to mention that I dont like them and dont want to stay with them for my own good reasons and for my own good.

I wish for a life which has me, my DH and my baby.!

I feel they are always on my neck and I dont want to stay under anyone's control. My MIL and FIL are very controlling. They decide everything. I want a life of my own and want to take my own decisions, be it correct or wrong.

I dont know why and how but always feel their pressure on me either of any ways. I wish for an independant life.

Is it wrong to think like this? Because I feel guilty sometimes for thinking like this. But I always feel some pressure and control over me and i really dont like this.

Seriously I wish for a nuclear family. Can anyone suggest how can I get that? (My DH does not want to come out for a nuclear family). I dont know if you all can know how i feel.

Please suggest me somthing to get out of here. may be any slogams? or anything?

Please help!

Metamorphic · May 13, 2015

BDivya said: ↑

I want a life of my own and want to take my own decisions, be it correct or wrong.
Click to expand...

Then start doing it.

Take control of your life, have your opinions and live the life you want to live .... Why you need a nuclear family for this?

Not that I don't understand your desire for a nuclear family. But what do you do when your H is so clear on that? Forcing him will only get things worst.

Jas8085 · May 13, 2015

TOTALLY ignore inlaws and cosis

Behave as if you are already in a nuclear family.

yellowmango · May 13, 2015

Op ....no guy living in a joint family starts of by accepting that he will think about separating.No option is what they offer the wife......but people do separate.
I don't understand this need for in laws to live with all children under their wings all their lives...there need to control the lives of adult children completely. More surprising is the lack of independence or a need for independence by children for leading their own lives.

If your husband has a transferable job....you can convince him to move.
If you are working and contributing handsomely ...then you can seek a change of job and ask husband to follow.
If there is space constraint.....then seek a separate house on that count.Say we should have separate bedroom for children...whatever works....
Invest in your own house for long term security.
Don't be silent....start voicing your differences and may be you will be asked to leave.

It is sad that we need to resort to this for something as basic as independence to live life the way one wants to lead.

BDivya · May 15, 2015

Metamorphic said: ↑

Then start doing it.

Take control of your life, have your opinions and live the life you want to live .... Why you need a nuclear family for this?

Not that I don't understand your desire for a nuclear family. But what do you do when your H is so clear on that? Forcing him will only get things worst.
Click to expand...

I really hope I could be like that! But its not like that simple.

BDivya · May 15, 2015

yellowmango said: ↑

Op ....no guy living in a joint family starts of by accepting that he will think about separating.No option is what they offer the wife......but people do separate.
I don't understand this need for in laws to live with all children under their wings all their lives...there need to control the lives of adult children completely. More surprising is the lack of independence or a need for independence by children for leading their own lives.

If your husband has a transferable job....you can convince him to move.
If you are working and contributing handsomely ...then you can seek a change of job and ask husband to follow.
If there is space constraint.....then seek a separate house on that count.Say we should have separate bedroom for children...whatever works....
Invest in your own house for long term security.
Don't be silent....start voicing your differences and may be you will be asked to leave.

It is sad that we need to resort to this for something as basic as independence to live life the way one wants to lead.
Click to expand...

I tried every possible way to convince my DH but he would not. He doent want to hear the terms moving out.

BDivya · May 15, 2015

@yellowmango: Hi, I personally like your advices on any topic let it be. I want to know your name and where you are from? Can u share your details?
sry if I am asking for more..

iamnidhi · May 15, 2015

Hi,

First of all it is very difficult to move all of a sudden from joint family. Because that will definitely cause you trouble. Everyone especially in-laws will keep saying she want separate home etc.
Try to stay cool at home,I know easy to say difficult to implement.
Ask your husband to take transfer so that it will be easy for you to live separately.

BDivya · May 15, 2015

Yeah!! Very difficult to stay cool.. Transfer, yes iam hoping for it.

DianaRose · May 16, 2015

how long u r married...that too counts for your wish to come true.. if newly wedded, u need to put up with all thats happening as it happens almost in all families....surely u will have your day....till then keep smiling...