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MIL always wants husband's money

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by KanikaMehra, May 4, 2015.

  1. KanikaMehra

    KanikaMehra New IL'ite

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    Hi all,

    I recently started a thread about how my MIL is torturing me. There is a new issue :(

    I, my husband and my in laws we live in a new apartment that is bigger than the old one its a 3BHK. Earlier we were living in the old flat (2BHK). The earlier apartment and this apartment, both are purchased by my husband. He took house loans for both the properties and he pays the installments. I and my husband we are married for 2 years and my husband had to sell my marriage jewellery given by him for purchasing the new flat as we fell short of some amount for purchasing the new flat. According to my husband, my MIL also sold little of her jewellery for purchasing the new flat, but I am not sure about that. I have no gold jewellery to wear but I see her wearing gold, if she has sold everything, where does that come from? My FIL is still working but MIL takes money from my husband because FIL does not earn much.

    Now, we have got a buyer for the old flat. He his going to pay a good price. My MIL has created a havoc in tne house that she wants all the money. Its a huge amount and my husbnad also has to repay his loan. Moreover, since I don't have any gold jewellery right now, it is obvious that I would want to buy some.

    I am 4 months pregnant and I work from home. Everyday when my husband leaves from office and when he comes home, she asks the same question, did the buyer pay money to you? She is paranoid about what if my husband doesn't give her money from that amount. She keeps talking from her room that there is no money and she has started pestering my husband for money. She is a controlling women and raises her voice and wants to control everything in the house.

    My husband provides her with all the updates about the discussions with the buyer. She is just waiting that when that buyer will give all the money and when she will start shopping and spending on things that she wants (I don't know what she wants to do). I feel left out of all this and I feel that I don't have any right on my husband's money. I told him that he needs to have some savings for the baby's future. He is extremely dedicated to his mother and I don't know whether he will save that money or not.

    Right now I just feel disgusting about the whole thing. MIL keeps planning about what she is going to do of that money and I feel 'Hello!!! It's my husband's money, don't have a say in all this?'

    This is so disgusting and saddening, I feel so left out....
     
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  2. beingloved

    beingloved Gold IL'ite

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    Stop the deal if possible.. let the property remain as it is..
     
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  3. Grihani

    Grihani Gold IL'ite

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    Best option if it's in your husband's name...do not sell it. It will automatically be his, hence yours and your child's. Rent it out and leave it as it is.

    But if you really have to sell, find out what percentage of money in the form of jewelry had she put in, your husband has to be honest about this. And if needed give away only that much and be done with it. The rest has to be yours.
     
  4. KanikaMehra

    KanikaMehra New IL'ite

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    @beingloved I can't stop the deal. I wish could!

    @Grihani I can't control the decision of selling that property. My husband is going to sell it. I keep asking him to tell me what amount of gold your mother has out in and he doesn't tell me anything. He says that if he has to spend on jewellery, he will spend equal amount for me and for his mom.
     
  5. anahita5

    anahita5 Gold IL'ite

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    Start saving your money for your kids future and take heart that he will spend equal amount for you both. you have been married for 2 yrs, still lot of time to get settled. You don't know what transpired between them before that. Nagging your husband is not going to help. Slow and steady one thing at a time.
     
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  6. jaden

    jaden Gold IL'ite

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    No point nagging with your husband.And you will never know how much jewellery she has sold,reason being if your husband wanted to inform you about this ,he would have already.Find out how much will the property rates go up in future,you can get this information from a realtor.Try a bit of manipulation like telling your husband ,that this seems like a bad time to sell property as its going to increase only.You need to be really smart and be very tactical.Probably you can involve close friends and their husbands and discuss how dumb it is to sell property now as the markets gonna go up.Ensure you confide in your friends beforehand that they say exactly this.You need to play it really really smart here.

    Another options if the above doesnt work out.Work out how much interest you are gonna pay on the new flat,work it all out and inform your hubby that unless you pay off the entire loan both of you are in a soup.With the baby comming the expenditure is just gonna increase.He should feel the crunch of money.Make it sound really bad that he genuinely feels the need to pay off the debt at one go,or whatever is available from the sale of the flat.
     
  7. ILUser07

    ILUser07 Silver IL'ite

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    As others already said, try to convince your husband in the nicest way. Things can only get worse by arguing.
    It is better to keep the flat and rent it out so that you can pay your EMI with the rent.
    Also, property is way better than investing in gold at the current point.
    If selling out the flat is inevitable, make sure he repays the loan amount of that flat. It will be very hard to pay two EMIs without any additional source of income. If you are left out with money after paying the loan, get minimum gold, say a necklace. So your MIL also gets one.
    You need to sacrifice your gold here to minimize the cost. And any additional amount should be secured for your child's future.
     
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  8. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Op...This is not a good time to sell houses.He should wait for the prices to pick up again.Tell him to talk to someone who knows about real estate.But if the house has to be sold,then...
    1)Tell your husband to use the profit from the sale of the house to invest in another property to save on capital gain tax.As him to talk to someone who knows about this or read up on it.
    2)Tell him to prepay as much loan for the present house....pay the loan for old house completely.
    3) Use the rest of the money to buy gold for you and his mother.

    This way....the money will all be invested properly instead of being wasted.
     
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  9. KanikaMehra

    KanikaMehra New IL'ite

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    He is adamant on selling the house. I cannot do anything :( I tried speaking to him but nothing worked. I told him that he should clear the loan first. But since MIL has put so much pressure on him for jewellery, he is not able to think anything else.
     
  10. curtainsdown

    curtainsdown Silver IL'ite

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    Am sorry to hear your plight. Since you are pregnant, it is best you let this go at this point in time. I understand your frustration and you are right. But its not the best time to pick this battle. Do not take stress for the sake of your health and your baby's health. Laugh and live well. You are working and you have a long future ahead of you and gold can be bought anytime. What your MIL is doing is very detrimental to the family but unfortunately she is not realizing it. Do not let her silly behavior affect you. You be the big person and let it go. Since you are WFH, I assume you will continue to work after the baby as well. Make sure your salary is saved and spent wisely. Hugs dear!
     

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