ILs vs Parents - Differences in spending

Ideally there should not be a difference, if husband and wife are considered equal, so should their parents be. But it does not happen in most Indian households, In-laws visit thinking it is their son's hence their own house, and parents visit thinking it is their son-in-law's house. It is better to talk over all this ahead of their visits, set aside some money so that it does not become an issue in front of those visiting.

 

This is my first post here...but any ways...

my parents and in-laws were here past year....

for my parents...we went out for lunches/dinners, sight seeing, got them some modest gifts while they left...not too expensive ones though...i usually send them a nice gift either for their anniversary or during diwali..

for my in-laws...did all the above + $3000 worth of gifts for mils sisters and brothers, fils sisters and brothers...solely because...fil had EBed my DH that...I have come for the first time...if I dont take anything for my sisters...they will talk/say that their brother doesnt care....but the thing is most of the stuff(expensive ones) he bought for himself..poor DH he caved insurrendersmiley...he hates EB...says you want money ask me to my face...dont do dramasnotdonesmiley

 

Well in my case i must say we buy more for my parents than my MIL.. But not in vast different ranges. We buy according to their wishes.. When my MIL came we bought gold for her and for SIL daughter and other chocolates n all...
For my mom we brought mobile as they are more tech savy n no gold n all then some chocolates etc...

 

In-laws expenditure is always more than for my folks. And the reason is not because we don't want to spend for my parents. In both cases, I never open my mouth. If a request is made, if it is nominal, I will just buy it. If it is a bigger expense, I will discuss with my husband and he makes the final decision.

The reason we spend less on my parents is because they simply do not want anything. They come here, spend time with us, and that is what they are here for. When they return the only people they buy stuff for is my sister and her family. None of the extended relatives gets anything. My mother's weakness is candles and kitchen towels (yes!!) so she get some of those.

PIL invariably get new cell phones, and MIL gets a few handbags and sandals. Plus when she leaves, she asks us for money to buy jewellery in India.

But credit to DH, when we are going to India - he will buy 2 sets of everything. One for his parents and one for mine. He also buys for my sister's kids without being asked or told. For my BIL though I have to push him to buy (they two guys just LOVE each other - they avoid each other as much as possible...it's actually funny)

 

We end up buying more stuff for my parents, since they love shopping here. It's always amusing to see them like kids in a candy store!
My MIL doesn't like to buy much here, so we give her cash as per her request. So the overall expenditures come out to be the same.