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what to do ? torn between responsibilties towards family and studies

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Melody123, Apr 18, 2015.

  1. Melody123

    Melody123 New IL'ite

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    hi ladies ! I wud like to share certain things with u ppl. I am 251/2 yr old, married living with in laws and mother of a 2 yr old girl. from the start, i was an easy going sort of person and not have faced many responsibilities after marriage. but after my dd was born, i feel that i must not be dependent on anyone and i must be a person good enough to be a mother for my daughter. my in laws always feel that i am not being a responsible person. and am careless in many things. that i dont know many things and have very less experience. I am always nervous when it comes to handling things. So i decided i would take up cost accounting course and study. due to investing lots of time in studying or just thinking about studying, i loose focus on various other activities. i know family is priority but before my daughter goes to school i must equip myself for the better. if i do this i feel i will gain more confidence in life. how to balance these both while doing OK in both studies and family. Please folks i would be grateful to receive some inspiration frm u ppl
     
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  2. Ragini25

    Ragini25 Platinum IL'ite

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    1. Time Management - this is crucial
    2. Plug all time-wasting activities, and manage time (again same point). Then you can balance studies and family.
     
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  3. KashmirFlower

    KashmirFlower IL Hall of Fame

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    With a 2 year old girl, it is difficult to have time to study as ur dd is with u all time.

    Study in the after noon when you she naps. Evening give ur daughter responsibility to ur in laws and study . After dinner after ur dd sleeps study for a while.

    if u can send ur dd to pre schôol u can get few hours for ur self
     
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  4. beingloved

    beingloved Gold IL'ite

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    Plan out your time, if possible make a schedule and work accordingly.
    Don't shy to take help of others in household chores and stuff related to your DD.

    Most importantly, ITS OK if you are not good at certain things or you are nervous. You've taken a huge decision of studying. Keep it up. Try to handle things which you're nervous at and you'll LEARN. Don't le others put your confidence down:)
     
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  5. hrastro

    hrastro Platinum IL'ite

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    Allot some chunks of time for study - Do NOTHING but study at this time - unless there's an emergency (DD's snack time is NOT emergency if inlaws can handle it) - DONT get up from your desk!

    Keep such 2 X 2 hours - ONLY get up to drink water etc.

    Try for bigger chunks on weekends - 4 hours while DH takes daughter to park!

    Again, allot other big chunks - 2 hours a day - for cooking ! Dont keep coming back to the kitchen at other times ! Dont switch on the stove at other times - make breakfast and all lunch items at the same time in the morning itself - and keep rice ready in cooker - 15 minutes before inlaws/you/dd have lunch - make rice/rotis

    Request DH's help in the mornings - either to help with getting DD ready OR with cooking!
    - Finish off DD's bath and breakfast before DH leaves for office/you finish morning cooking - then you can have 2 hours chunk to study

    For the 2nd chunk - use DD's nap time or FIL can take her walking etc!

    When studying - complete concentration on studies
    When doing household work - complete and finish everything properly
    When playing with DD - enjoy :)
     
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  6. butterflyice

    butterflyice Local Champion Staff Member Platinum IL'ite

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    @Melody123, may I ask you why you are keen on doing Cost Accounting? How far have you come with this course?
     
  7. YoGirl

    YoGirl Gold IL'ite

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    If this course is being offered in a institute, join and spend 2 additional hours for studying there. Its tough to balance studies with a kid and in-laws at home.
     
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  8. Melody123

    Melody123 New IL'ite

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    dear butterflyice. I took this course long back when i was working before marriage. then i was not able to complete it. by the time i wanted to complete the course the time lapsed and i had to reapply. now my exams are nearing and i am not able to go to extra coaching since my dd is so little and my inlaws they wud take care of my dd they wud always say that they are doing things and always they show faces without saying anything. so i thought i wud not go anywhere for sometime and study for myself. but i wanted to complete atleast inter and do the finals when i am free again. my inlaws even complain that i had kept a large expenditure by joining the course and my FIL says that he doesnt think i have talent to complete a course like this. I had to bear with all these criticisms by them and stay with them facing them each day. its really frustrating.
     
  9. butterflyice

    butterflyice Local Champion Staff Member Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear @Melody123,

    Sorry I missed getting notification of your reply. If you add the symbol @ before the poster's name, the poster will be notified when her name is mentioned ensuring faster communication.

    I wanted to make sure you are aware of what you are getting into when doing the ICWA course. So you already have the background.

    Do not mind your in-laws commenting about your capability or the cost of the course. Tell them it costs more to do a bacherlor's degree these days. Put these comments to the backburner for the time being. They can show all the faces they want, just get your thing done.

    So you have time until June. There is no way you can study at home with a 2 year old especially courses of this kind. So please enrol in a coaching class. It can be offered by anyone, not necessarily the Institute. There are plenty of such classes in Chennai. Attend the coaching. Then stay there or at a friend's place to study some more and come back home. Your in laws can handle your child then.

    You can also put your child to bed early and study some more.

    @hrastro has given you excellent suggestions. She did her MBA with a full-time job and a baby.

    If nothing is feasible, can you consider a trip to mom's place for a month?

    I could have coached you but the time difference and my commitments right now do not allow me. So sorry.
     
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