1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

Real Pity for Indian Women

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by daringstar, Mar 25, 2015.

  1. daringstar

    daringstar New IL'ite

    Messages:
    3
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    1
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi,

    Even after so many years of emancipation of women and women being very well educated....Why are in-laws persistently bad? We Indians should start learning better things....I know my friends mother-in-law always boasting her daughter driving a car in US and the Daughter-in-law trying to get a license is a fool....She is often compared to as riding a cycle....What a pity...Even after living with in-laws over 2 decades....she finds it difficult every day to cope up......

    Indian system should change...I pity such people.....

    I don't know hw to help her...

    Regards
    Daring Star
     
    Loading...

  2. Grihani

    Grihani Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    270
    Likes Received:
    351
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    You can't help her, she needs to help herself.
     
    6 people like this.
  3. adimad

    adimad Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    187
    Likes Received:
    222
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Gender:
    Female
    Spot on @Grihani
     
    1 person likes this.
  4. shobhamumbaikar

    shobhamumbaikar Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    201
    Likes Received:
    288
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    To answer your question, because, even after all that education and all, our life still revolves around our men (read son/husband). We women here, both as a mom and as a wife think the success of our life depends upon the exclusive love/acknowledgement/ approval/sympathy/company of our son/husband. And we fight tooth and nail with each-other to get it exclusively. Most of the time mils succeed because the societal set-up is conducive to that.

    we still have a long way to go before we can start living for ourselves with our own happiness/achievements/success in the center and everything else be it husband or son in the periphery. Any one's pity cannot bring this change. We have to bring it ourselves. And i believe we are slowly but steadily on our way in that direction already.
     
    6 people like this.
  5. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    5,951
    Likes Received:
    11,411
    Trophy Points:
    438
    Gender:
    Female
    I think the problem lies on the women/DIL who either did not try to establish themselves before marriage, or choose to leave everything behind ONLY to get their husband.

    They are foolishly depend on their husbands, and they are made up in such a way that confronting or having disagreement with in laws is a curse.

    If your friend finds it really hard to live with inlaws, then why did she living with them now? Either she needs to stand up or put up. She choose to put up. Then why blame the culture?


    The same culture blames the woman who stand up against abuse, but blame the man who abuses his wife?

    Finding the balance is what we all need.
     
    1 person likes this.
  6. catwalk

    catwalk Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    339
    Likes Received:
    321
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    Its not limited to Indian culture. Attitude is global.

    In India, we have much closer family system, compared to Western countries.
    Hence it become more nuisance.
     
    4 people like this.
  7. Sparkle

    Sparkle Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,006
    Likes Received:
    1,750
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    Real pity for Indian women???

    - Why only Indian women?

    'We Indians should start learning better things' - from where or from who?
    MIL and DIL problems are universal. Most often because of our culture/unwritten rules of the society this issue is projected as an issue only in India.

    Adding more and more women rights and educating women will not change the master/slave setup that is expected and also exists between MIL/DIL, Husbands/Wives and other relationships.


    Your friend should change her life herself. Even if Indian system or any other western system changes (miraculously) its unlikely that the attitude of people will change.

    Some interesting links to look at:
    Carolyn Bourne: Mother-in-law from hell sends email to bride-to-be Heidi Withers | Daily Mail Online

    Living With Asian Mothers in Law | Asian American Issues | GoldSea

    Daughters-in-law vs. mothers-in-law
     
    1 person likes this.
  8. anitalovesyou

    anitalovesyou Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    78
    Likes Received:
    75
    Trophy Points:
    58
    Gender:
    Female

    Superb answer ! I loved the whole idea in your post !
     
  9. Divya332

    Divya332 New IL'ite

    Messages:
    24
    Likes Received:
    7
    Trophy Points:
    8
    Gender:
    Female
    This is a global issue, not only Indian. I wish I would know what to do to make a difference!
     
  10. coolgal123

    coolgal123 Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,354
    Likes Received:
    2,670
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    completely agree with u....indian women are achieving financial independence but emotional independence not achieved....still husband and kids are priority of indian women....because those are the highest priority so we compromise on every other things for them....
    these compromises shuld bring love and respect....but unfortunately these are taken for granted as these are considered women duty....
    people still cant see tht now women are doing these out of love not becoz of some compulsion....
     

Share This Page