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Co-sister Behaviour....

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by chocogal26, Mar 6, 2015.

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  1. Mar 6, 2015 #1
    chocogal26

    chocogal26 Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi all Lovely Ladies....wish you a very very happy holi. Me n My co-sister...we are two Dil's in the family. i was living in UK from the day after 4 months of my marriage.

    1. My Co-sister used to celebrate one festival with in-laws every year. she lives in different state n in-laws lives in different state.

    2. I used to come once a year from last 7 yr. Meet in-laws.

    3. In-laws used to taunt me for not doing seva . I invite them several times...tried to book the ticket...FIL always send....don't waste money in booking ticket...transfer same money /amount from which we will use in buying farms in village.

    4. We used to send 1 lacs every month. approx 10 lacs in a yr.

    5. We help FIL in buying farms in FIL's name. and we used to come india in a year....i tried my level best to serve them 3 fresh meals every day for a month every year.From morning 5 am to 11 p.m i spend time between four walls....do cleaning, sweeping , mopping, washing cloths, cooking 2 curries, chapati, raita, salad, dals, 2 times in day...and fresh breakfast also.i also entertain their guests.

    I tried my level best physically...never answer back...and my DH always send money.

    Still FIL n all were thinking that we are living like a queen n king in uk and earning millions and transfering only 1 lac per month. Still all of them were not happy with me.

    6. now comes to co-sister...she comes every year to inlaws place. she used to show them they are poor and i don't behave properly with her on phone..but it was not at all like that...i am very down to earth person...

    7. i came back in this january from uk to india and settled in different state....becoz of job of my DH.

    8. Fil, SIL, SIL's hubby, SIL's Kid...all of them came for a 10 days for holi...i serve /entertain them from morning 5 to evening 11 pm...

    Today FIL called Co-sister ask her to wish me HAppy HOli...she said happy holi to me.....i also wished her and ask her how are you celebrating...what s going on?? SHE CUT THE PHONE...i didn't ask anything to FIL but ask to my husband in private....

    DH was saying she got jealous...that now you are getting brownie points from inlaws..but i am feeling very insulted...She should not do this on festival.

    I AM FEELING VERY INSULTED....:((


    I also invite her to come and celebrate with us...but she refused.

    pls suggest me what should i do...
     
    chocogal26, Mar 6, 2015
    chocogal26, Mar 6, 2015
    #1
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  2. Mar 6, 2015 #2
    chocogal26

    chocogal26 Platinum IL'ite

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    no reply....:((
     
    chocogal26, Mar 6, 2015
    chocogal26, Mar 6, 2015
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  3. Mar 6, 2015 #3
    CrayoNess

    CrayoNess Platinum IL'ite

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    Why are you comparing so much what your co-sis is doing and why is she so important to you?
     
    CrayoNess, Mar 6, 2015
    CrayoNess, Mar 6, 2015
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  4. Mar 7, 2015 #4
    yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Since you both seem to be in the 'good dil medal race'...you both will have to deal with the misery that it brings......

    Three cheers to your in laws :cheers
    And one cheer for your husband for winding you up nicely by suggesting the jealousy angle.....for the benefit of the 'seva' of his parents.
     
    yellowmango, Mar 7, 2015
    yellowmango, Mar 7, 2015
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  5. Mar 7, 2015 #5
    dsmenon

    dsmenon Gold IL'ite

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    Why do you care so much for you co-sis calls and her behavior?? Let it go. This is not something that you have to be insulted of. She didnot talk to you - You don't talk to her. Case closed. Be happy Enjoy your Holi and have fun. She should be the last person you think of.
     
    dsmenon, Mar 7, 2015
    dsmenon, Mar 7, 2015
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  6. Mar 7, 2015 #6
    VanithaSudhir

    VanithaSudhir Platinum IL'ite

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    :exactly: hugsmiley
     
    VanithaSudhir, Mar 7, 2015
    VanithaSudhir, Mar 7, 2015
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  7. Mar 7, 2015 #7
    Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    You live in the U.K. Have a job. Are financially comfortable. Husband mostly understands the politics of his family side.

    Why are you so hellbent on gaining their approval? Why would you spoil your one month vacation by slaving away? After that experience, why still go overboard in serving them when they visited you?

    Use moderation in everything. Keep in touch, host them well, do some housework when you visit them, send some money, but don't overdo any of these. Enjoy the good life you are blessed with. Keep discussion of in-laws' and co-sister's shenanigans with husband to a minimum.
     
    Rihana, Mar 7, 2015
    Rihana, Mar 7, 2015
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  8. Mar 7, 2015 #8
    heron

    heron Platinum IL'ite

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    Right there is the point... you see the cheers line?... right there
     
    heron, Mar 7, 2015
    heron, Mar 7, 2015
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  9. Mar 7, 2015 #9
    chocogal26

    chocogal26 Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear CrayoNess..Thanks for reply. I am not comparing with co-sister...may be i am not able expressing myself well.
     
    chocogal26, Mar 7, 2015
    chocogal26, Mar 7, 2015
    #9
  10. Mar 7, 2015 #10
    chocogal26

    chocogal26 Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear Yellowmango...thanks for writing me...i am not in good dil's race..i used to talk with co-sister every week..she was pretending well in front of me on phone.

    "I REALLY DON'T WANT ANY BENEFIT FROM SEVA"

    In the past 6-7 yrs when i was in UK...Cosis was so polite with me on phone...and filled father in law ears against me like....
    Fil always angry with me inspite of doing all this...i just don't want to see sooo much anger for me.
     
    chocogal26, Mar 7, 2015
    chocogal26, Mar 7, 2015
    #10
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