How to handle favouritism/Comparison : co-sis favoured by MIL

Hi ILites,

First of all I would like to thank you all. Because after joining this community my perspective in married life has changed drastically. I have learnt to control my anger, handle situations and still on the way to learning managing relations.:thankyou2:

The thing that is bothering me right now is my co-sis and MIL.

DH are two brothers. Elder one was married to a girl of MIL's choice. Decent gifts were gifted to them on marriage or read it this way-Bride's father gave various things to his daughter like TV, Car, Bed, Stereo etc etc etc.

Mine was a love marriage and I was against such "gifts" so did not brought much however I am working lady so earn monthly for them.

Obviously co-sis is favoured by her.btt

As both brothers dont have much age gap MIL started saying to both (me and co-sis) to try to conceive(TTC)

I said my MIL that as co-sis is elder she should opt first. She said no let God give any of you his love.

And by God's grace I conceived first. MIL visited in my first trimester.(She used to stay away that time)In my first trimester due to morning sickness I used to find it difficult to stand in kitchen and work, however did my level best so that my co-sis don't have to work alone. My MIL created issue out of this and called everyone to sit around and told me that it is not illness so do keep working. To conceive is not a big deal. Tomorrow ur co-sis will conceive too.. and went on saying blah blah blah.

And in whole pregency she used to talk on phone and say " Delivery will be done here"(She used to live in a town whereas we live in a city where there are latest technology and good doctors. I used to keep crying on this, DH was also after his mumma. My health went worse and was suggested not to travel so MIL had to give up.

When the time for delivery came she again visited us. Due to bad health I already had taken leaves from office. She made sure that I keep on working by setting different almirahs daily. She herself used to sit and instruct me to do things her way. Her mantra was More physical work will lead you to a normal delivery.:bangAgain, despite of doing so much physical work I had an c-section. I will admit she cared for me a lot for next one month and when I was off the bed I again started doing things the way I used to do before getting pregnent.

It's been almost 2.5 years since my MIL said me its easy to conceive.

My co-sis is still TTC. Many checkups have been done.Some issues have been figured.

My MIL cares for co-sis a lot. She should eat well she should drink well she should rest so that she can conceive. Whereas I was asked to work even in pregnency.

I am afraid the moment she will conceive she will make her sit on bed and make me run around the house.:drowning

I am fed of this favouritism. Need suggestions to handle this as well. Her statements keep echoing in my mind. How to keep them away.

Also, she keeps on comparing me with her in household chores. She do things better as she lived at home whereas I stayed at hostel to study. Although I have learnt everything now but MIL keeps on finding mistakes here and there, to which I have learnt to give deaf ears.:bonk

Note: Co-sis and I share health relationship and MIL generally creates issues. co-sis dont flaunt her father's wealth.

 

I am not at all worried of work load. But I dont like the way she treats my co-sis.She is been given extra care and love. Even when I was expecting MIL used to push co-sis and BIL to sleep. and me and DH were never pushed.

MIL is biased.