Venting Out

Dear Friends, I always feel better whenever I read or write in Indus-L. It feels like I can talk about anything here without being manipulated. I love you guys.

My husband went to onsite last week only. My MIL is here with us from last 4 months. I have a 1.5 year old daughter. For some reasons FIL is staying with my BIL from last one month, he will be back to us in Feb. I have kept a day time maid for taking care of my daughter. We have a separate maid for cleaning. Problem is my MIL doesn’t care about my daughter. She makes the maid do all other stuff. MIL has stopped doing anything. Earlier when my husband was here she uses to do at least few things just to show him. But now, she sits on sofa and watches bhajans on TV whole day it seems. Apart from this she talks for hours over the phone to her sisters and FIL and do bad mouthing about me and my family. I recharged her phone for Rs 200 on 19th Jan and after that she has recharged her phone twice of the same amount. She usually tells my husband or BIL to recharge her phone. So, they might have recharged her phone. She is spending our hard earned money just to badmouth about me and others. She makes faces when I talk to my husband who is at onsite. I think she feels insecure; she thinks her son gives more importance to me. She even badmouth about her own son to FIL. MIL and FIL say their sons are making use to them by making them look after their kids. They give example of Bagwaan Movie. I don’t know yaar why MIL/FIL think like this. We have given everything to them. She badmouths about me over the phone which I have gifted her and I have re-charged it. We really have spent loads on her. Her quality is she will ask for things in a way like she is a bechari and no one cares to give her. But in reality you are in a luxury boss. We are making loads of efforts to maintain a decent lifestyle. I cannot leave my job, your son went to onsite for us right. MIL/FIL never helped us in anything which we have. Still you are saying that you are Amitabh Bachchan and Hema malini of Bagwaan.. Gosh, you have to show your faces to God yaar. Kuch toh sharam karo. I think that’s why you spend hours in doing puja and stuff. Either to show off or you don’t want to do any other work or to convince God that you still deserve heaven.

Worst part is MIL does not actually try to feed my daughter, she does not prepare anything for my daughter nor does she tell the maid to prepare anything for her. She prepares food (with the help of maid) as per her needs and taste, which my daughter doesn’t eat. Whenever I come back from office I use to make tea and serve her on her sofa. Then before dinner I will make chapaties and serve her on sofa.

Thanks friends for listening to my heart. I'm feeling better now.

 

hehe.. that’s right pinkRoseBud and vanithaudit. I also tried to nullify her negative thoughts by being cheerful and talking to her nicely. But I have a heart inside me which gets hurt badly. Yesterday, she told my husband that I want to go to my parents for vacation and she has to stay alone at home and she was trying to convince my husband that I'm doing wrong to her. Actual thing is she wants me to go to a marriage which is at our native place. So, I told her, yes we will go and I also told her even my brother is expecting his first child in Feb so we will also plan accordingly so that we can also go there. In my plan she was also included. My FIL is also supposed to come back to our home in Feb, so plan could be different also. There was no concrete plan as I have very few leaves left with me. This whole thing was just a light discussion. But, she told my husband and FIL that I want to go to my parents leaving her alone at home. Later, my husband called me then I told him whole thing. There are lots of other things which she used to tell my husband and FIL and other relatives to get sympathy and prove that she is such a great lady and her DIL is such a heartless person.
Sometimes, I use to think why she needs to do all this. Why almost all MILs do such things. I don’t know why. Is it in nature.. I really don’t know.. Whatever makes her to do all this.. it is actually really very bad..

 

Thanks nb25 for sharing your thoughts.. really, I have noticed that she gets happy when I feel bad about her words.. and she feels bad when I behave like I do not care about anything she says.

They are staying with me because my husband does not want me to stay alone with DD.. also I do not want to keep my DD in creche as of now.. I started keeping her in creche when she was just 3.5 months old. Now, I want to give her a break. She at least plays and enjoys being at home. Now, she daily goes to park.. earlier it was very difficult for me to take her to park after a very hectic day.. My daughter is happy so I am happy..

 

My DD is 1.5 Year old. Yes, apart from food issue other things are ok. My DD is a happy child and she enjoys being with people around her. That’s why I try to ignore other negatives but sometimes it becomes very difficult for me to ignore and that is when I post in Indus-L for emotional support. Thanks friends for listening and understanding my problem. I cannot discuss these with anyone else.

Food issue is: My DD spills off food which is more spicy but my MIL likes spicy and oily food. She cooks spicy and oily food with the help of maid. If there is some left over from last night's meal or even before she will not cook nor she will tell the maid to cook anything and she will feed that to my daughter.