stingy MIL strikes again

You are visiting your MIL on weekends. You have the right to be treated as a visitor at her place with respect. However, you can not expect her to treat you and her other visitors equally. It is impossible.

Moreover, you can not demand or fight for what they offer to eat. However, you can be more preventive of any such misbehavior that could hurt both.

If I were you, I would either stop the regular weekend visit if I am not comfortable there. Specially if I am not given adequate food, then I would definitely inform my H about it. Neither I, nor my kids can starve on a long run. More over, I shall offer to take some dishes prepared by me at my home to serve everyone whenever I visit there. So that, if MIL's food is not adequate, I can still manage with whatever I have in hand. Also, it can be served for others too.

I would also take some biscuits and snacks, so that in case of less food it can be of help.

It is bad to serve different food for different people. It is discrimination. But imagine. Your SIL comes to her mothers place. That is always special for every married woman.

Your SIL might not have turned up the said date. But probably she might have told her mom to keep the food, so that she could have it on the next day.

Since that food was prepared for her with whatever the sentiments, lets respect it.

More over, MIL's house is not your mother's house. See the difference, accept it and move on

 

My MIL did something similar to us when DH and I were visiting her in BIL's place. She made some tea break cakes and those were my DH's favourite cakes , plus mine too. She hid them in the kitchen cabinet and did not offer us any . My younger BIL came home frm work and went straight to the cabinet and took those cakes and ate them. I saw her making eye contact to him ...BIL went straight to his room. How sickening!!

There was once during Christmas Eve, she cooked tonnes of food . DH, DS and I went there. I was so tired after work . MIL made me clean BIL's house. I swept the floor and mopped them too. Later she made go to the store to get some groceries. I went there in my drenched office attire. I worked like a maid and was starving. It was almost 10.00pm and she didn't let anyone eat. She wanted all the guest to arrive. The first guest ...SIL's sister came with her family and she immediately helped herself with the food!!! My boy has been asking for food since we arrived but she refused to give him any....you could imagine how I felt!

I brought my kid and walked out of the house. I didn't bother to wait for DH. Before I left, I told her, even a beggar deserves a better treatment than this!!!

OP, we cant change the mentality of this sick people. I stopped eating at her place. I made it a point to have our meals before we visit her. Sometimes my kid would bring his MCD meals with him.

You could do the same. Have your meals elsewhere or have them at home prior to your visit. That way may save you so much of heartache!! W

What kind of human being hides food from their own family? It doesn't matter who the food is cooked for. Sick women!

 

Op...why do you tolerate such humiliating behavior?Don't go for a few weekends.If they ask...bluntly says you are tired of staying hungry during weekends and you can't see your kids staying hungry.She can call her special daughter every weekend to eat her special curry.
Having different food for different people...that too your own children and their families is sick!
OP ...your mil is a very small hearted woman.Period!

 

HI Tulip!!!
If i were you, i would have told some excuses and avoid seeing such people, atleast not all the weekends. hereafter even if u get suffered in her hands, dont make the kids as victim of such sick people. in long run they ll get a bad example to follow. Better avoid these scenes in life for kids sake.

 

Op...how about embarrassing her by calmly and frankly asking her why she discriminates between her daughter and son and their families.....in front of the family."Maa you kept the special curry inside when you heard sil will not come.Why? Are we not allowed to eat it?"

On second thought.......forget it girl!Even I wouldn't have bothered with such a petty person....I would have just not gone to her place.

 

Embarrassing won't help. Done that, and lost the battle once.
What if she says "those cakes were my daughter's favorites that she never get to eat at her place there". Everyone in her family (FIL, BIL, and your H) would feel sympathy for that special DD and look down at you for demanding them.

If she doesn't want to share something then it means she doesn't want. Why argue, why expect and why worry. Let her share her special food with her special DD. She might have something else special for her son, who knows.

Better avoid such visits, or be prepared not to get affected next time.

Old people, old theories and old sentiments... Be the better person.

 

some people are really disgusting. My dadi (fathers mother) was one of those. I still remember when we were kids i think I was 7 or 8 and my bhua s son ( my first cousin, my fathers sisters son) my dadi ( grand Ma ) took us out

my cousin :I want ice cream
Dadi: no I will have to buy, one for her as well(me)
cousin : no I still want it

dadi brought only one ice cream just for him. It really wanted to have it too. I asked can I have ice cream as well, my dadi said take it from your mother. It's been more than two decades and I still remember this incident.

my mil is no exception. we visited mils house for around 10 days, I normally keep my toddler daughters books and toys with me but this I just didn't carry much, just a few for to keep her busy on flight, when we visited mils house there were no toys for her to play with. She was badly bored. Later on I got to know there were toys but since they were adopted sils sons my mil didn't give those toys to my dd. i went to market and got new toys for dd.

Some people are really beyond limits.