How to handle multiple BIL and SIL relationship

Hi All,

I would like to brief out about my family 1st before starting.
I am working in an IT company and married 4 years now. My Husband has 2 younger brothers. I share everything with my husband and there is no problem with my relationship with my husband.
I believe I have a good fun relationship with both BIL especially the younger one as he is my age and talks a lot. The elder BIL was a bit moody as i felt but my husband said he has been that way ever since
A year and half back, My 1st BIL got married.
BIL & SIL are in there own world, they didn't disturb us and we too didn't disturb them. But my younger BIL was intouch with both us and them. And even my husband with his Brothers.
My parents family are very interactive and my mom and her SIL are very close. I wanted the same to happen, when i asked my husband he said that since my BIL and SIL are far away ( as they were staying away for almost 9 months due to work location) She was not much interactive with us. Hence I left this matter and forgot about it and was busy with my work.
The problem started when I joined whatsapp this year.
This year my husband joined watsapp and I insist on creating a group of 3 brothers.
Once i joined my younger BIL insists on joining that group and same way he insists SIL to join.

After which I saw there is more liking to her and importance to her on small small stuff which . Like changing the subject name if they are going out, got new car , her b'day and such stuff. All these change was done by my younger BIL. So i just went out of that group and did n't wanted to get myself hurt. Did I do right?


When I said about her behavior and attitude, Even my parents were saying that might be it is so because she comes from higher financial family ( This happens sometime in Indian families)

Now I am pregnant when I went to convey it to my SIL and BIL personally as suggested by husband, there were no wish from SIL. I feel both of them dont consider my husband and myself any importance. Only if they need any help they come to us. She never joins to any family function and neither BIL or IL say anything about it. I started noticing this only after I am pregnant as I dont have much work now. So is it my head cracking this up or is there any issue I dont know

But I see both of my BIL are very close and younger BIL likes spending time with them and knows more knowledge about them than we both. But my husband say it is not so.

I am fine if they dont talk to us. But as my husband is elder I would like both the BIL and their SIL ( including the future SIL also here ) to respect my husband.

My Husband says to concentrate on my health as of now. But still some time when I feel some negative vibes I feel bad. Why cant it just be normal!!

In future if both SIL becomes good friend and never includes me what will happen to me or my husband

I want address some behavior -
1. When we went to her house, we went with a brochur of a land we just saw if they were also intersted but she did nt even touch it
2.When we went to their house only BIL gave juice and snacks.
3.When we went to their house with IL she was not well but she tried doing some work
4.When I say anything about the topic she was talking she becomes disintersted and never talks about it later one. M i talking much?
5.She is having sister and brother
6.she said she doesnt want to meet any one from her husband family. She likes being alone with husband, but she gets irritated if my younger BIL doesnt come to her house and comes to our house. This I came to know by my younger BIL as elder BIL said it to him.Is it for us?

One more thing, my husband is innocent and things everyone are good people.

How to tackle such things

Currently I am just avoiding as if I dont want to know any thing happening. But I know it is not good for a healthy relationship.

Please help has anyone faced this type of issue. or am i taking it more seriously??

BIL- Brother In Law
SIL - Sister in Law
IL - In laws

 

Regrading the below solution from you, isnt we too part of the family?? Why cant it be like get together? And if I see the fun few time effecting my husband feeling..then? Some information never reaches us. Only through IL we come to know..and my husband wants all family to be together too, but he just say we cant help it if they are not intersted. This makes me think like what is going on. I think in future if there is any responsibility It ll only come to my husband and others will not have any responsibility.

 

Thanks Reesha,

And I am good at my professional skills. As I am pregnant now I might be exaggerating. But believe me atleast I have the respect for them. it not like I need only them to respect. I am just trying to handle the situvation. Like can I do something like we are in talking terms atleast. It is just like hi hello and nothing els I know about. And sometime I feel guilty that I might have to do something to correct it or so.

Point 2 and 3 was just to compare the behaviour which I felt odd. Might be she had a fight with BIl the other day. Not sure

I sure like your advice and try to avoid the unnecessary hassle.

Yes as an elder SIL in our custom there might be more work in future. So that time I might be in fix. thats why this post or thread

 

Some custom...my husband wanted to share this happy news with them personally. We did tell BIL in phone though