Dealing with sister in law

Hey start advising her by calling her all the time.You dont have to wait for her to talk .Do it when her H is at home ,when she is with her kids .Absorb her free time with your chat.I dont think your H will feel angry to your effort to be friendly with his sis.Google ideas to keep your chats lively.

 

NewWife, more than you SIL, it is your husband that needs to be dealt with!

The next time he changes his tune because his sister said so, and you know for sure she is the reason... let him know that you would like to stick to your original plan and do not feel comfortable about being told every time by someone else. Tell him that you're as vested in the renovation of your home as he is and that you really think the final decision should be yours and his, not someone else's. Talk to him without attacking your SIL.

 

Agree with peartree.....just say...I am the one who is going to live here...
As for sudden changes that your husband asks for.....ignore if you don't agree with them.
If she calls all the time.....you can call up your family members(a different one each time) the moment she finishes the call .Let your husband realize how irritating it can be.

 

I agree with all, even if she is in bad marriage...

1) listen but do not heed
2) If your DH insist because of your SIL....cajole him to stick to ur plan, do NOT do power struggle with him....be sweet, enchanting seducing...whatever it takes...do not talk in ruling voice..
3) even when she has all the free time, keep calling and keep asking details in friendly manner...call when she is putting kids to sleep, and see how it goes...

also, is it possible for you to pick up phone and talk for a little bit when she calls and say can he call you back in a little bit? He is bit busy right now? And then have plan for important discussion with your hubby...tell hi,,,,i m sorry i did not mean to do that but you can always call her back...but i really needed to disucss this. Also, do it some other time and i have been really missing you and wanted to spend sometime with you relaxing and feeling your company...do it 2-3 times...she shd get a hint and even of she does not, u still got her off those 2-3 times.

 

If you are a new wife, exercise some patience first.
You also do the same, call some other people or your parents and hopefully your DH will get the hint.

 

I feel you and your husband should try solving her family issue. Try counselling her. May be she will understand.Try improving her marriage life.

 

Wow, she is awfully close with ur dh !! Tell ur dh to snubb her a couple of times, she will stop bothering him then ! My SIL also looooves to talk ! Just snub her once or twice...she wil get the point !

 

OP,

You can refuse these things in a nice way.

Thank your SIL for all her interest and her good ideas. Just say "I can see SIL has put a lot of thought into this. SIL would want to decorate a her home that way. I can not take away her ideas of decorating a home. That will be unfair to SIL. Every woman dreams of decorating her home her own way." Then say laughingly to your DH "Clearly you have not seen enough rom coms, or you would know this. I am going to paint the walls blue." End of discussion. Just walk away on some pretext. Let them talk.

If DH brings up these ideas say those are good ideas, but growing up I always imagined living in a blue house. I just love blue. End of discussion. Again, get busy with something.

You can also try to say My mother likes blue houses. So, I want a blue one too. If he says his sister likes red houses, act hurt and say, "Does my mother's opinion mean nothing to you?"

When DH starts telling you how to do things, just ask him "I toil so hard all day, yet you do not appreciate my efforts. You should try taking on some of my work, then you will know how difficult it is. I do every thing, and only get complaints." Act a little hurt.