Planning my revenge.

Well... Best way is to confront her rather than taking revenge
as a fellow Il I think the best way is the above line rather than
supporting for revenge.

u take take dh with u and confront her directly if u r irked abt it.
please do not stoop so low like ur mil.

 

remain a good girl but make sure they realize their mistakes and don't repeat.

 

I'm all for giving back, my dear. Then and here though. I didn't like the plotting and planning as I was giving a lot of thought to the people who make me miserable as though they were hat important. Letting go and being indifferent brought me a lot more contentment than anything else. also of there is a baseless allegation, I'd work hard to Prove them right. Eg. The blatant lie "She doesn't spend any of her earnings on us" => I'd become super, extra tightfisted. As the allegation is already out, they wouldnt be able to say much more. Eventually they learnt that give me a compliment, I'd go the extra mile; be nasty and bear the brunt of it.

I'd just say this: make sure they don't make you change into someone who you yourself wouldn't like...

 

The more you plot and think about your mil, you lose your peace of mind! Believe in karma...she will pay for her deeds one day. By doing something nasty you will also be like her...do you want that? Also will u be able to live with that? You may get the satisfaction of hurting her for short time, but is it really worth it?
Just wait patiently dear, what goes around, comes around...you mil will one day fall into the pit she has dug for you...you don't get your hands dirty :coffee

 

The negative thoughts and revenge planning make you more obsessed about the situation and can take a toll on you. It destroys your peace of mind. I have been in your situation many times and taking a revenge was always my first option, but believe me the thought of revenge kept all my hurt and pain fresh. Now I give replies then and there without any planning. move forward in life leaving behind all the unwanted things. Enjoy life and your time with dh more and ever than before. Your MIL should understand her nasty tongue and comments is not worth your attention and has not affected you in any way. I know it's easier said than done, but give it sometime think about any other way to alleviate your pain. Your MIL will surely taste the bitterness of her actions soon.

 

Usually doesn't work with inlaws.They abuse when they can and later they become the helpless old parents who are neglected and not respected by dil and the world knows about it.While abusing dils is normal.....the abused dil ignoring them later on is not acceptable.

I agree with guesshoo.....give it back then and there.You will be the bad dil no matter what....why suffer in present .Give it back ....keeping peace is not your duty alone.Raise the issue at meal time.Ask her why she is bad mouthing you in front of every one and if she is ready for the same happening to her.

 

When my mil taunts or aggravates me and I give it to her right then, she twists and distorts what I say and complains to dh, my parents and bad mouths me in front of her relatives and friends. I don't care about any of that but when what she says to dh leads to constant fights and misunderstandings between us, I feel, in hindsight, giving back was not the best solution. Of course, there are times when giving back to her is the best thing to do...but I am suggesting we choose our battles more carefully and not react for every taunt.
the result with my mil was that when I stopped reacting she got more worked up!! She eventually started taunting me and being rude to me infront of dh and fil for relatively stupid things...her sweet innocent lady facade was gone. Fil and dh don't take her seriously anymore...
she tries so hard to prove she is better than me, that she ends up bungling big time and ends up making a fool of herself...

 

In my case...I blamed my DH and told him that he is responsible for all this ****..He should make sure atleast MIL who is a member of the family should not badmouth me.

If he respects and defends me, MIL can't dare to do such things..

But did it help telling my DH. A BIG NO!!!

He added few more things to his mom's allegations and the blame game continued..Sigh!!