Phone conversations with IL's

hi ,

Hope you doing good

I used to speak to my inlaws like this only. bcoz of these 5 mins conversation i got bored and stopped calling them. after that only i got an idea like instead of asking them did u eat well ? did u sleep well? blah blah blah.. i started explaining how my day gone/goes like i did this i did that and some funny jokes and some family issues.. its really helped me. and now i'm talking to them daily and v having a good and funny conversation.

thanks,
Kavi A R

 

If you are speaking to them everyday, I do not see what else you can talk about. Am sure you run out of topics after 5 minutes.
Can you slowly bring it to a call once in 2 days so that you have more to talk about? Else you can ask them about their day, what they watched on TV, who visited them etc.

As regards your DH asking you why you do not talk much to his parents, does he spend a lot of time talking to your parents?
One cannot be expected to share the same comfort level with parents and PILs, no matter how nice they are to each other.
Same goes for the elders-am sure your PILs have more to talk about to your DH than you (for example about friends, relatives, neighbours etc. who you may not know much about)

 

Trust me if even you talk for long...say go up to 10-15 it's going to be the same topics day in and out...now the topic is revolving around lunch/dinner/maid...later it will hit on your office work,your log in/log-off time, who came home and not, your family blah blah... I'm being frank since it happens to me when my in laws stay in BIL's house, after 5 minutes it gets terribly awkward since I don't know what else to speak thinkingsmiley

These days I have changed course and started Q my MIL instead, keep my phone on speaker and let her talk and go about my work..in between I would say a word or two...this happens once or twice a week though..finally we hang up since I run out of Q's and she gets bored giving me an update too :rotflthere is no hard n fast rule on how long you must spend o/p ...just go with the flow...you won't yourself nor your IL's..

By the way I like your nick name :thumbsup ....Black beauty,I had that in school for my non-detail...

 

Maintain your usual 5 min call.Once in a while ask your MIL to give you your Hs favorite recipe and update her on the outcome.This could make any MIL feel special.

 

Ask your husband if he will be able to talk to your mother daily?Tell him you don't have much to say.Tell him things may change with time but talking everyday is not necessary.Tell him to talk daily.

I don't understand this 'forced talking'.Why can't these husbands realize they cause more harm than good this way.

 

Omg ym! You spoke my mind!! Every word that comes out of dil's mouth is judged by mil and when we don't speak, we are judged by dh! And they don't speak to our mothers at all! My dh keeps playing with his mobile while we are VCing with my parents...when his parents called I did the same and he accused me of being indifferent!! The nerve...:spin

 

OP,

You don't have to call them every day if you are not comfortable with it. If DH asks, then tell him that you are out of topics as you are calling every day.

His parents are his responsibility. Tell him he can talk to your MIL as often as he wishes. It should be ok as long as you are on decent terms with ILs. You don't have to talk to them daily, and DH should not expect it.

My husband had the same expectations of me early on in our marriage. But I refused to entertain this. He understands this now because my MIL created some drama over silly things. He does not expect me to call her now. He calls, and I talk to MIL in front of him.

 

control ! control ! control! control the new bahu anyway possible.

 

NEW bahu?????!!!! I am an ANCIENT bahu and am still subjected to this torture... It has nothing to do with that...mils are always demanding one thing or the other...problem with their thinking and with their ever-ready- to-please-mamma's boys!!